Can you actually be too emotional for nursing?

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kendel

230 Posts

i wish i knew which nursing home this is

send me a pm

mslinzyann

48 Posts

I completely agree. I am not a nurse- so any advice I give should be taken with a grain of salt- but this sounds like it is crossing the line. It doesn't matter how tired and burned out these nurses and CNAs are, it is unacceptable to yell at your patients and to neglect them; in doing so, you are not a nurse by definition. If this is the normal world of nursing *which I do not believe it to be* then, I hope I am never a patient.

Sorry, but I do not agree with most of the people who posted on this thread. You are an advocate for your residents and if you see elder abuse report it. Follow what you feel is the right thing to do. So many people just let things go because they have no backbone and do not want to rock the boat.

Tweety, BSN, RN

34,248 Posts

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

By all means, your are obligated to report elder abuse to the authroties. I didn't mention it in my first post because you said elder abuse and then talked about what went on the breakroom. Since you clarified further, you must report it. It's the law.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN

102 Articles; 27,612 Posts

Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
i have noticed that some people on this thread seem sooo unhappy and lack compassion for others
Uncompassionate nurses typically do not care enough about their patients or livelihood to take the step of reaching out to other nurses on a public forum such as the one you're reading now. We post our concerns, opinions, reflections, memories, vents, frustrations, and ideas on this site because we care about nursing.

I simply felt obligated to correct you on your very erroneous assumption that the rest of us are so "unhappy" and lacking in "compassion".

caliotter3

38,333 Posts

If you are too emotional you will be the one who will suffer. What is important is that you do not let your emotions cloud your judgment while on the job. It is your duty under the law to report elder abuse. Go outside of the facility to the police or adult protective services. I reported witnessed elder abuse when I worked in a facility and was fired fast. I found out later on that the abuser got away with it as I expected she would. But at least my conscience was clear and I was lucky that it was not made an issue (the firing) when I got my next job. Learn to temper your emotions and keep your opinions about others to yourself. You will be finding out that there are a lot of things about nursing that are difficult to deal with. Do not isolate yourself by putting yourself in a position where your peers think you have a holier than thou attitude. Like was previously posted, you will be relying upon CNAs to do their jobs and keep you afloat once you become the charge nurse. Get on their bad side and you won't last at any job. Good luck. Hope those rose colored glasses didn't break when you yanked them off.

Fiona59

8,343 Posts

I loathe that phrase "uncompassionate and uncaring". I do care about my patients WHILE I'm on the floor.

You learn to step away from the job or you run the risk of becoming one the nurses who wears their heart on their sleeves and burns out.

Do you really think that the families of your patients or even your patient gives a rat's ass about you? We had a nurse injure herself doing patient care infront of the family. They never once asked how she was doing, would she recover and return to nursing?

How compassionate and caring is that?

NC Girl BSN

1,845 Posts

Specializes in Psych, LTC, Acute Care.
Currently, I am an LPN student doing my geriatric clinical rotation. Boy, oh boy, was the first day tough. I'm 21 years old with no previous medical experience. It was just a hectic day because I was so scared to hurt a resident. Now, I'm a couple weeks into my clinical, and I feel like an old pro. Now, there are things that I am witnessing in the nursing home that truly makes me just want to vomit (I'm referring to elder abuse). I have seen the CNA's, the LPN's, and even the charge Nurse treat the residents like complete crap. In one of the eating rooms, all the CNA's are talking loudly about who is in jail, who's baby daddy is doing what, and just laughing like hyenas while the residents are trying to enjoy a peaceful meal. Also, they sit around and just talk to each other about how annoying the students are and how they are always in the way. I'm curious how I'm in the way when they do nothing but sit and gab all day while I'm trying to be superwoman and answer the call lights (the nurses don't even acknowledge the call lights and they let residents scream for help all day long).

I know this may not be everywhere, but this is what I am seeing at the nursing home where we have our clinicals. Our clinical instructors notice it too but she says there is nothing she can really do about it.

My resident that I am assigned to, I adore her! I am so scared and terrified, that it keeps me up all night, that when I leave what is going to happen her. She is so kind to me and tells me that I am the nicest person she has ever met. At this very moment, I am worrying and just wanting to cry because I don't want anyone to be mean to her.

People have told me that I'm way too emotional to be a nurse; can you actually be? Everyone keeps telling me to get out of it because I won't last and it will only hurt me in the long run. There is nothing I want to do more than Nursing. I actually only got into it for the money and a program was available (frankly, it was just convenient at that moment in time) but I am noticing that this is something I actually want to pursue and further my education in. I truly believe this is what I was meant to do it. Hey, we all have to go through trials and errors to find our purpose in life.

So, from your experience, can one be too emotional for nursing?

Hi, I'm a new nurse in a nursing home and I feel some of your pain but not to this degree because I was a CNA for 14 years so I am very familiar with nursing homes settings. There is nothing you can do about the way people act. They only thing you can do is be an advocate for the resident and voice your concerns with an higher authority. I'm sure you were emotional when you wrote this post but I think you did the right thing and reported it to your instructor. I would not call DFS because you may not know the whole story of what is going on. I know you have a lot of growing to do in this profession. Your duty is to make the patient lives pleasant and comfortable while they are there. I definety feel that what does around comes around. People who mistreat the elderly or anyone else for that matter will pay for their actions one way or the other. I find that in nursing homes we tend to treat the elderly like children, telling them what to do, what to wear, telling them their behavior is unacceptable. I have been guilty of that. But if you have a heart and treat these individuals with love and respect then you can go to bed at night and rest with a sound mind. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who work in a nursing home setting that should not be there. Just focus on your studies and try not to go home at night tossing and turning thinking about this stuff. When you graduate, you sound like you will be a good caring nurse, we need that in Nursing.

Alibaba

215 Posts

Another incident: A woman's call light kept going off and she needed help getting out of bed. She wasn't one of the residents that the students tended to but I HAD to answer the call lights because, again, no one else was. I ran to a CNA to ask for help because she needed to use the mechanical lift. The CNA rolled her eyes at me, walked in the room and said in a very nasty tone, "No! You are not getting up right now! You're going to have to wait because I don't have time to get you out of bed!" I tried to talk to the CNA to ask her if she can just show me where she keeps the lift and the way their hospital utilizes that lift (their lift is different than the one we were taught with at school). The CNA said, "I don't have time for that," and left and walk right over to the dining room and gabbed with her co-workers (she was still sitting there when I walk by an hour and a half later). I was truly appalled, but brushed it off because I don't want to be rude to anyone who works there. I'm trying to be the glue to the team here and they don't seem to want the students there but we are really lighting their workload. Honestly, we work; they talk. They should totally take advantage of us being there and maybe keep their workload light but not that light.

One lady kept screaming for help for over 2 hours and every time I kept going to get into the room they would yell at me to not go in there. I just assumed this is a patient that just wants attention. When no one was around, I snuck in the room because I just NEEDED to know what was wrong. I just wanted this patient to feel better even if was just getting an ounce of attention. THE RESIDENTS ARM WAS STUCK BETWEEN THE BED AND THE SIDE RAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I'm still learning, but how does one not go into a room when a resident is screaming for hours; not even a peek.

Maybe, I am being too emotional which only sparks my natural instincts to judge. I'm not trying to maliciously judge others. I just think in the instances that I have experienced that the nursing team acted unprofessional and negligent.

A classmate told me, "After so long in the nursing field, I think they just stopped caring." (referring to the nurses at that institution)

This is not meant as a criticism coz you seem to be willing to learn. But you seem to HAVE to do lots of things. I don't know about your program, but when at clinicals, we were not allowed to perform tasks like using the mechanical lift to get patients not assigned to us out of bed, and especially not without staff around.

I agree that there are lots of bad things happening in NHs (which is why I left that setting) and abuse must be reported, but after 2 weeks of clinicals, you absolutely have no (read zero) right to judge the CNAs in that nursing home. How many patients are they assigned? how many showers do they have to do? Once you start getting someone up with a hoyer, you can't just get them up, you have to make sure they are clean then make the bed, aaand, what about if this resident was scheduled for a shower, then you get them up into the chair, one hour later, you have to get them back in bed to transfer them to the shower mat..........there are too many variables involved.

Your job should be to leave with experience, knowing the care giver you want to be and which one you do not want to be. Like someone said before, CNAs run the nursing home, without them, your life and that of the residents would be miserable. I am SURE you can find something good to say about this place. And another thing, your LOL was doing just fine before you got there, and she will be just fine when you leave. If however you feel her safety is compromised, by all means call state and file a report. Just my .02$

Bellarubia18

31 Posts

Specializes in Long-term care.

No one should be mistreating residents in the nursing home. But it is very easy for you to say the things you are saying as an outsider. being a student and actually working, ESPECIALLY as a charge nurse in a nursing home that is hideously understaffed, are two very different things. I can relate to those annoyed by some of the things you say in your post.

camiwannabeRN

27 Posts

To be honest I am a new CNA just accepted to LPN school, but I have also been working in big business for most of my adult life, and the one thing I got from that work experience is there are somethings that are not appropriate for conversation no matter where you work. I have however seen this everywhere. It's typically a question of up bringing and education that cause people to not be aware of ethics. However, in my first day of CNA class, which we were reminded of at the start of clinicals was once you enter these doors your outside issues are to be left there, because it does put paitents at risk when agression or anger play a part in these issues. Just my 2 cents and what do I really know, but it's how I was taught. I personally treat every paitent like a family member whether I'm acting as a CNA, an EMT, or any other role I take on. Frankly, it's how I'd want to be treated.

tammy1974

44 Posts

As beginning nursings student we need to remember one thing, we are at the bottom of the proverbial ladder. The purpose of clinicals is to learn from our peers, not to pass judgement on them. As others have said, the op has passed judgement without knowing all the facts about a situation. I have a story for you...

Five years ago I began nursing school (LPN) with huge expectations, I was out to conquer the world. Three months into the program I was on top of my game, my grades were great, all A's and then clinicals began at the nursing homeand I began to wonder just what the hell I had gotten myself into. I too, was having doubts about whether I was making the right decision, if I really had what it took not only to be a nurse, but to be a GOOD nurse. Like the op, I saw things that began to make me doubt my decision. I saw little old ladies wandering aimlessly in the halls pleading with me to take them home, how their nephew had stolen all their money and locked them up in this place and if I would just take her to her sisters house, she would take care of her. To the outsider, that sounds like an awful, terrible, sad story. However, this women had dementia, and alzheimers, and her sister had been dead for years. At the time, I wasn't able to stand back and look at the whole picture. All I was able to see was doom and gloom. I decided to take some time, five years to be exact, to decide whether this was what I wanted to do and be absolutely sure that I had what it took to be a great nurse.My story continues.

Three years after I quit nursing school, my mother had an aneurysm that burst. I spent almost three very long weeks at her bedside praying for her recovery. While I was there I took notice of something. The ICU nurses were absolutely AMAZING!! As I watched the nurses work, day after day, I began to realize something. I could this. All of the information that I had learned in ns was coming back to me, I began to understand why things were the way they were. Suddenly it all started to make sense. I guess you could say I had an epiphany.

I am about to enter ns, again, and when I think about quitting I will remember the ICU nurses that took care of my mom, may she rest in peace. When I am challeged with a difficult situation or patient, I will react as if it were my mother, after all it is someones mother, or sister, or daughter. I will do this and I will do it well. It is not easy an easy job and yes it is an emotional one, just remember the rewards that come along with it also. Sorry so long.

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