Love the Humor, but not the male bashing!! :-)

MandyInMS · May 5, 2003

Hi Jim and welcome:) I don't think I'm a male basher...I don't discriminate..male/female ..anyone is subject to bashing in my book...hehe just playinnnn..lol...naaaaw I think everyone here, just like you, is here for a little comic relief and feedback about nursing issues.Glad to have ya(((hugz)))

nursedawn67, LPN · May 5, 2003

Originally posted by SRNJIM
Ok Guys,

I am a male student nurse (56 years old) who needs to come here for some humor and comic relief sometimes, so no more male bashing please :-)......but.....I forgive you male bashers and I have a contribution to make. :-)

I spent 12 years as a long term care administrator...so I have hear them all about LTC...OK here goes... :-) (How do you get those different smiley faces in this reply???) No bashing please :-)

Did you hear about the two old ladies who were just lain bored to death? Well it seems one said to the other, "Lets strip naked and run down the hall and see what happens."

So they did. However, there were two old gentlemen sitting in the lounge at the end of the hall. One older gentleman said, "Did you see that?"

The other said, "Yes I did. What were they wearing?"

The first gentleman said, "I don't know, but it sure needed ironed."

What do ya think gals?????

Jim

:chuckle :lol2: :rotfl:

SRNJIM · May 6, 2003

Hi Guys, :)

Look what I found. With the push for paperless med records and bedside technology, I thought a little high-tech humor might be cute. This gives it to both genders. Does that make it a gender neutral joke??

Later,

Jim

Gender of the Computer

A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral.

Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine One group was comprised of the girls in the class, and the other, of boys Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The group of girls concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1- In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2- They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3- They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4- As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The boys, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1- No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

chrisrob · May 6, 2003

:

This one i'll take to work

:chuckle :chuckle :roll :roll :chuckle

FutureRN~Pookie · May 6, 2003

:rotfl: That was too funny, Jim!

~Kacy

Rapheal · May 7, 2003

SRNJIM-loved your comment to the nasty doc. You are a quick thinker. I also want to give you a big hug for studying to become a nurse. Good luck in school and your future career.

tris · May 10, 2003

Wish you all the luck, I waited until later in life to go into nursing and would not trade it for all the world:cool:

tris · May 10, 2003

Bravo----some of them are such jerks, it does them good to be reminded they too are human! :cool:

Gomer · May 12, 2003

For all of those tired of male bashing.....said with tongue-in-cheek

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

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How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

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Why do men break wind more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her.

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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.

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Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

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Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.

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A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything for days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

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Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad: " That happens in every country, son."

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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified:

"Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

nurse2002 · May 13, 2003

Gomer,

I am a woman and I really am offended by your post!

Just kidding! Those were AWSOME! FUNNY!

Never thought I would think some of them are funny, but they are!

:roll :roll

Diana in Sweden · May 13, 2003

Originally posted by nurse2002
Gomer,

I am a woman and I really am offended by your post!

Just kidding! Those were AWSOME! FUNNY!
Never thought I would think some of them are funny, but they are!

:roll :roll

I was like COME ON this was funny........... untill I read the rest of your post ... really had me going nurse2002 hee hee

gomer this was really funny thank you !

:roll