Hopefully my story does not have too many identifying details, but I am wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar to me? Sorry for the length in advance.
I am a new graduate RN. I graduated at the beginning of May with my BSN. All I ever dreamed of was hospital/med surg nursing..... possibly ICU eventually. The same day I passed NCLEX, I was offered a position on a neuro med-surg floor at a fairly well known hospital that I had interviewed at. I was THRILLED. I started that job about a month and a half later (I had to move and transfer my license, which took some time....), anyways, about two months into the position, i was starting to have management talk to me about some concerns that they had that I was not really progressing as fast as they would like/need for me to go. These went on for about another month, with me trying to fix what they were asking as hard as I could, but alas, eventually we came to the conclusion that this was not the best floor for me to start my career with. The acuity was way too high. I was discouraged/frustrated/angry, ect..... but I decided to apply to the hospital across town.
That hospital was smaller and had more of a general med surg position available. I interviewed, loved the managers and shortly afterwards, got my new job. I was super excited as this position was going to allow me to learn a few more skills than the last place (IV starts, central lines, ect....) Things were going great! at first...... but shortly after my first review (about a month in), preceptors and management were again beginning to bring up some of the same concerns that the last place did. I was angry, heartbroken, ect, but I again put my head down and threw my self 200% into the job to try to fix their concerns. Again, it was not enough, and I again had to resign from my second position in order to avoid termination.
At this point, I am numb, angry, scared, frustrated, and probably a whole host of other emotions. It seems as though at this point, I will not be able to handle hospital nursing which hurts sooooo bad. That is all I ever wanted to do, and honestly the pain that nursing has brought to me these last few short months has made me consider walking from the profession completely. But I LOVE nursing. I honestly don't know where to turn. Currently I am also working PRN at a nursing home, but am looking for other possible areas. I don't know where else to go. Nothing else really interests me, although I have looked into possibly infusion nursing, but I don't know enough about it.
