Hopefully my story does not have too many identifying details, but I am wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar to me? Sorry for the length in advance.
I am a new graduate RN. I graduated at the beginning of May with my BSN. All I ever dreamed of was hospital/med surg nursing..... possibly ICU eventually. The same day I passed NCLEX, I was offered a position on a neuro med-surg floor at a fairly well known hospital that I had interviewed at. I was THRILLED. I started that job about a month and a half later (I had to move and transfer my license, which took some time....), anyways, about two months into the position, i was starting to have management talk to me about some concerns that they had that I was not really progressing as fast as they would like/need for me to go. These went on for about another month, with me trying to fix what they were asking as hard as I could, but alas, eventually we came to the conclusion that this was not the best floor for me to start my career with. The acuity was way too high. I was discouraged/frustrated/angry, ect..... but I decided to apply to the hospital across town.
That hospital was smaller and had more of a general med surg position available. I interviewed, loved the managers and shortly afterwards, got my new job. I was super excited as this position was going to allow me to learn a few more skills than the last place (IV starts, central lines, ect....) Things were going great! at first...... but shortly after my first review (about a month in), preceptors and management were again beginning to bring up some of the same concerns that the last place did. I was angry, heartbroken, ect, but I again put my head down and threw my self 200% into the job to try to fix their concerns. Again, it was not enough, and I again had to resign from my second position in order to avoid termination.
At this point, I am numb, angry, scared, frustrated, and probably a whole host of other emotions. It seems as though at this point, I will not be able to handle hospital nursing which hurts sooooo bad. That is all I ever wanted to do, and honestly the pain that nursing has brought to me these last few short months has made me consider walking from the profession completely. But I LOVE nursing. I honestly don't know where to turn. Currently I am also working PRN at a nursing home, but am looking for other possible areas. I don't know where else to go. Nothing else really interests me, although I have looked into possibly infusion nursing, but I don't know enough about it.
I wasn't terminated. I resigned from both. I am not sure that calling them to clarify will work. I will continue to see where the nursing home leads but at the moment, I don't see myself there long term
But why? You said yourself that the facility you're at said they are proud to have you there. It sounds like you're doing well in that environment. Why not give it a shot and apply for a full time or even part time position if one opens up at the ltc facility? Ltc experience is good experience and is just as important as acute care nursing.
Some have suggested acute care isn't for you at all. I'm going to venture and say It's possible acute care nursing isn't for you at this point in your life. Maybe two-five years from now, you could try it again after having some experience under your belt.
Chin up, hun. My orientation wasn't an amazing experience so I know what it feels like to have little to no confidence left. Let yourself flourish and find your niche.
But why? You said yourself that the facility you're at said they are proud to have you there. It sounds like you're doing well in that environment. Why not give it a shot and apply for a full time or even part time position if one opens up at the ltc facility? Ltc experience is good experience and is just as important as acute care nursing.
Some have suggested acute care isn't for you at all. I'm going to venture and say It's possible acute care nursing isn't for you at this point in your life. Maybe two-five years from now, you could try it again after having some experience under your belt.
Chin up, hun. My orientation wasn't an amazing experience so I know what it feels like to have little to no confidence left. Let yourself flourish and find your niche.
I am planning on staying at the LTC if I can get hours, at least until I can figure next steps, however long that takes. One of the aspects that I loved about nursing was the skills, like IV's tubes, stuff like that. I don't really have any of that at the nursing home I am currently at
Everyone has their own pace. Just realize that sometimes it isn't you, it's the facility, culture, or general environment/energy of a place that doesn't allow you to self actualize. You have not failed, you just realized where not to work. In the future, you may do very well working in those places. Good luck.
I am planning on staying at the LTC if I can get hours, at least until I can figure next steps, however long that takes. One of the aspects that I loved about nursing was the skills, like IV's tubes, stuff like that. I don't really have any of that at the nursing home I am currently at
OP nursing is not just skills. Nursing is really thinking about the patient as a whole and your assessment. Anyone can learn a skill, you do not have to be a nurse to insert an IV, or other skills. Start thinking about nursing as what is my assessment telling me today given my patient's diagnosis and past medical history.
Do you believe that these concerns are legit? Just make sure you're advocating for yourself. In this profession, nurses truly can be cruel and NASTY. Your managers may hear one thing about you and then draw conclusions without even asking you about the situation or getting feedback from YOU, the actual person involved.
This has happened to me. I've had "performance issues" just like you. And I know this isn't the typical response that people will like. People wanna be like "look at yourself" or "maybe you do suck" Nobody on the internet actually knows you so take everything with a grain of salt.
I got sat down once by my director and told a bunch of things that were mostly ******** regarding my performance. I took it to HR and the CNO. I asked her to give me exact details of what happened and asked for a chance to review my charting. I wrote a detailed response and put it on the record. I defended myself and advocated for myself.
I went from being put on a "Performance Improvement plan" to my director apologizing to me for baseless claims.
From that point on, I stopped taking ****. I told myself..I'm the god damn nurse and I know how to take care of people.
It worked. I don't really have problems with people because at the end of the day, RNs and MDs are the ones that are actually responsible if **** goes south and we need to act like it.
So I guess my question again is....in your heart of hearts...Do you think your managers' complaints and critiques are legit or not?
There is a saying popular in recovery circles that could apply here: "If one person calls you a duck, ignore them. If ten people call you a duck, start looking for tail feathers."
I'm not entirely sure what the concerns are as you are being vague about them...but that is irrelevant.
The fact that two different facilities are having the same concerns about your performance means that there's probably validity to those concerns--i.e., you might be a duck. You need to take those concerns seriously and take an honest look at yourself and what you're doing. Then you can figure out what needs to be fixed and get to it.
And to be honest, you're not doing yourself any favors by saying "I don't know what the concerns are" when two different facilities are telling you the same things. They're telling you what the problems are. They can see them....now you need to see them. It's up to you to do the self-improvement to address them. Otherwise, you'll risk continuously being let go for the same issues.
Best of luck.
I've been in recovery from drugs and alcohol for almost seven years and I've never heard that saying EVER, anywhere. I found it very ironic that OP is being criticized for her actual performance as a nurse and for not disclosing enough information regarding manager feedback. Soo if she isn't exposing details of her performance, how can you come to the conclusion that she's wrong or that she's not performing on an adequate level. Hmm. Interesting.
Ohh but two different hospitals said the same thing? Ok. None of that is based on any actual facts. You don't know this person and you don't know their managers.
One time I was reading this website here on allnurses. I came across this post about a nurse that HATED her job and was going to quit. She went into a little detail here and there about why she hated her job. It turns out, it was my coworker. I could deduce her actual location by her username and what she was saying. Soo you can't tell me there isn't a good reason to be vague sometimes on the internet.
Do you believe that these concerns are legit? Just make sure you're advocating for yourself. In this profession, nurses truly can be cruel and NASTY. Your managers may hear one thing about you and then draw conclusions without even asking you about the situation or getting feedback from YOU, the actual person involved.
This has happened to me. I've had "performance issues" just like you. And I know this isn't the typical response that people will like. People wanna be like "look at yourself" or "maybe you do suck" Nobody on the internet actually knows you so take everything with a grain of salt.
I got sat down once by my director and told a bunch of things that were mostly ******** regarding my performance. I took it to HR and the CNO. I asked her to give me exact details of what happened and asked for a chance to review my charting. I wrote a detailed response and put it on the record. I defended myself and advocated for myself.
I went from being put on a "Performance Improvement plan" to my director apologizing to me for baseless claims.
From that point on, I stopped taking ****. I told myself..I'm the god damn nurse and I know how to take care of people.
It worked. I don't really have problems with people because at the end of the day, RNs and MDs are the ones that are actually responsible if **** goes south and we need to act like it.
So I guess my question again is....in your heart of hearts...Do you think your managers' complaints and critiques are legit or not?
I think some of them were. What I don't know (in my nursing "newness") is if these concerns should have lead to the outcomes so soon, or if I should have had more time to correct (especially at the second hospital...... I do believe the first hospital was too much), and I realize that no one on here can give that answer, especially with the little details that have been given.
I've been in recovery from drugs and alcohol for almost seven years and I've never heard that saying EVER, anywhere. I found it very ironic that OP is being criticized for her actual performance as a nurse and for not disclosing enough information regarding manager feedback. Soo if she isn't exposing details of her performance, how can you come to the conclusion that she's wrong or that she's not performing on an adequate level. Hmm. Interesting.
Ohh but two different hospitals said the same thing? Ok. None of that is based on any actual facts. You don't know this person and you don't know their managers.
One time I was reading this website here on allnurses. I came across this post about a nurse that HATED her job and was going to quit. She went into a little detail here and there about why she hated her job. It turns out, it was my coworker. I could deduce her actual location by her username and what she was saying. Soo you can't tell me there isn't a good reason to be vague sometimes on the internet.
Thank you for your comment. It is true that two different hospitals had similar concerns. That's crazy about your coworker, and points out why I am not willing to lend a bunch of details. Thanks for understanding.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I've been in recovery from drugs and alcohol for almost seven years and I've never heard that saying EVER, anywhere. I found it very ironic that OP is being criticized for her actual performance as a nurse and for not disclosing enough information regarding manager feedback. Soo if she isn't exposing details of her performance, how can you come to the conclusion that she's wrong or that she's not performing on an adequate level. Hmm. Interesting.
Ohh but two different hospitals said the same thing? Ok. None of that is based on any actual facts. You don't know this person and you don't know their managers.
One time I was reading this website here on allnurses. I came across this post about a nurse that HATED her job and was going to quit. She went into a little detail here and there about why she hated her job. It turns out, it was my coworker. I could deduce her actual location by her username and what she was saying. Soo you can't tell me there isn't a good reason to be vague sometimes on the internet.
While I agree with you that there is good reason to withhold pertinent details on specific situations -- I've recognized coworkers on this forum as well -- I think that the specific complaints about the OP's performance are important. As someone upthread noted, you don't have to give patient-specific details such as "While working at Man's Best Hospital's CCU, I accidentally gave 5 mg. of digoxin and the manager yelled at me for killing my patient". But something like "I accidentally gave ten times the ordered dose of a medication, and the patient outcome was not good. My manager gave this as an example of the performance issue she was talking about." OK, so now we know that time management and critical thinking are issues, but so is safely administering medications.
If one manager asked the OP to resign for unsafe medication administration, your point would be valid. However with two managers telling the OP that they are a poor fit for the same reasons. I suspect that the OP is having problems with those areas. Knowing where the OP is having the problems would allow us to give her more useful advice.
While I agree with you that there is good reason to withhold pertinent details on specific situations -- I've recognized coworkers on this forum as well -- I think that the specific complaints about the OP's performance are important. As someone upthread noted, you don't have to give patient-specific details such as "While working at Man's Best Hospital's CCU, I accidentally gave 5 mg. of digoxin and the manager yelled at me for killing my patient". But something like "I accidentally gave ten times the ordered dose of a medication, and the patient outcome was not good. My manager gave this as an example of the performance issue she was talking about." OK, so now we know that time management and critical thinking are issues, but so is safely administering medications.
If one manager asked the OP to resign for unsafe medication administration, your point would be valid. However with two managers telling the OP that they are a poor fit for the same reasons. I suspect that the OP is having problems with those areas. Knowing where the OP is having the problems would allow us to give her more useful advice.
Hi RubyVee,
Thank you for your comment. Let me try to get some additional details. Most of their concerns centered around the fact that I could not handle a full/high acuity load by the time that they wanted without a lot of support from my preceptors. There was one medication administration issue, however, I am not sure that I would have called it an "error". I had scanned in a medication and then it promptly fell on the floor. I scanned the computer to lock it, while having the other medications listed, and went to grab another of the dropped medication, when I came back, instead of rescanning the medication, I just completed the medication that I already scanned (I looked at the new packaging and confirmed that it was the same medication and dosage) Once the preceptor pointed out that I should not do what I did, I immediately stated that I would not do that again. Another situation involved me catheterizing a patient. It is kind of a long story, but the patient was known as a difficult cath. I was unaware that the policy stated that I was only allowed to attempt a certain number of times. In the end, I attempted too many times and it was stated that I caused patient trauma. I was heartbroken. I would NEVER purposely cause trauma to a patient. I learned so much from that incident. These are hopefully a little more details that could help. These are some of the major issues I can think of off the top of my head.
Another thought that I have..... I can be a very black and white thinker. I think some of their concerns was that I wasn't seeing the bigger picture of things. Having some issues with my critical thinking. Hope this helps as well
bblondon
43 Posts
Sounds like Mayo to me