Last semester of the year ! But I do not want to be a nurse anymore

I know I should be working on my care plans and reading! I can't believe I made it this far. I only made it this far by becoming a homebody. LOL BUT I'm on my last semester and I will be graduating this year! YEA! But up until now I do not feel like I want to be a nurse anymore. I really believe that the clinical instructor can make you your best or make you feel like ****.

In this journey, she gives our group anxiety. I never know when she will snap on us, for anything. Its like walking on eggshells around her. I feel scared approaching her to ask questions. I just want to avoid her everytime she approaches me. I feel so nervous around her that I get shakey.

Lately, I'll come home from clinicals and I cant study. My heart races before, during and after clinicals. It literally is racing this rotation. I cant focus because I felt so belittled. I dont want to work in a field like this. Is this what is to be expected? I actually feel incompentent after clinicals and it tears me apart. RIght now in my heart, I dont want to be a nurse. I force myself to go the clnicals. I do what I have to do and I leave.

[JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP]

I have a wonderful clinical instructor who always has our back. She builds us up and won't let any nurse in the hospital give us flack. Plus she welcomes us into the ER (her regular job when she's not teaching) with open arms if we need more practice. My clinical instructor is the best!

(Sorry, your post just made me appreciate what I have.)

[iamhere]

I have a wonderful clinical instructor who always has our back. She builds us up and won't let any nurse in the hospital give us flack. Plus she welcomes us into the ER (her regular job when she's not teaching) with open arms if we need more practice. My clinical instructor is the best!

(Sorry, your post just made me appreciate what I have.)

Treasure it! I thought that was how it is suppose to be, but not this rotation.

I just dont get why people teach when they dislike their joband pass it onto their students.

[Lajimolala, BSN, RN, NP]

I feel your pain. Last semester I had the most wonderful, amazing "clinical instructor of the century" type of an instructor. I loved going to the hospital every week. This semester, I dread every second of it. I know it really sucks, and it's hard to stay motivated and you feel you don't want to be here, but just bear with it. You will find your place in the nursing world once you work there, and if you don't... you have the option of when and where to move on, which is a lot more than you can say for clinical rotations! Hang in there... the semester is halfway through!

[Tarabara]

@ChayaN: I dont want to sound harsh but I hope you're more empathetic with your patients than you were on this post. That could have been equated to someone saying 'i just got in a wreck and my car is ruined' and then someone else responding 'oh i just got a brand new car today!'

@iamhere: I'm sorry you're feeling that way, but by your post it sounds like the greatest source of your anxiety is your clinical instructor. Were you less anxious in previous semesters? I wouldn't say this is whats to be expected of you as a nurse because you wont be with your instructor anymore! Plus there are so many areas of nursing, you can find an area that feels most comfortable to you. Dont give up on yourself, you've made it this far for a reason. Good luck!

[iamhere]

Thank you for your support! :redpinkhe

Its been great to till this rotation. I cant rid of this anxiety but i can say 2 more weeks till this rotation is over. I'll have to keep looking forward even if i dont see the light. I can do this. I can make it. She can not break me apart.

[mammac5]

Hang in there, iamhere! You can do ANYTHING for 2 more weeks. I'm not sure of your age or life experience, but as someone who is "mature" and who's been through lots of junk, I can assure you I have lived through things for 2 weeks that I NEVER thought I could get through. You CAN do this and you'll be a better human being for showing yourself how much you can handle.

I don't know why some people who seem unhappy just want to spread it around...maybe that's the case with your present instructor. Kinda like the person with marital problems trying to fix up her single friends on dates!

For the next two weeks just keep your head down and your powder dry. Call your doc and ask for beta blockers if you need them for the anxiety/racing pulse. Try to focus on your patients vs. the instructor.

[llg, PhD, RN]

Don't let one bad experience with one instructor determine your career path for the rest of your life. Don't give 1 person that much power over you. Put the experience in it's proper perspective. Buckle down, get it done with ... and then MOVE ON with your life.

It's only a short period of time. It too, will pass.

[geode]

I've been lurking mainly, but after reading your post I decided to register so that I could tell you a little bit about my story:

About 4 years ago I was in my second semester of nursing school. I guess I don't have to tell you how stressful it was, but what made it unbearable was one of my nursing instructors who took it upon herself to my life miserable. I'm not going to go into details, but to make a long story short, it was very difficult to cope. I was depressed and suffered from anxiety - all this stemming from her abuse. Because of it, I dropped out while in my 2nd semester of nursing school. At that point, I was fed up and ended up picking another major that would get me out of school the fastest. The end result is this: IT WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER MADE!!!!!!! I ended up graduating in 2007, worked in my field of choice. I am bored to tears (working in financial industry where there is a lot of cut throating, cliques, and brown nosing to get ahead).

I've recently decided to go back to nursing school and hopefully, if everything goes well I'll be back in August of this year (having to take a couple of pre-reqs over during the summer b/c mine are over 5 years old) and let me tell ya, it can't happen fast enough! I can't wait until I'm back in nursing school and I welcome all of the good times and the madness because THIS time I'll be going into it a much stronger individual and come heck or high water, no stupid arse instructor is going to make me quit. So stick with it lady! Once you graduate and work for a while, if you still feel that's nursing is not for you then that's one thing, but don't let an individual ruin all the hard work you've done...you don't ever want to regret having dropped out.

Nursing school is a certain type of animal - a liken it to a rabied dog (with exceptions no doubt). But if you can survive unscathed (and you will), you'll never have to worry about being in an environment like that again. Believe me, your actual nursing career won't be like that and you will be in a position to make positive changes for the better. Who knows, maybe you'll work a while and decide to become a nursing instructor and be one of the good ones that have a positive affect on the students?

Good luck to you.

[HyperSaurus, RN, BSN]

Nursing school like a rabid dog? I'm not sure if that makes me want to laugh or cry...

[FA2Nurse]

It should make you want to do both.

[eyeball]

I am also in my last semester....3rd semester for me was ROUGH: the workload was very heavy and both my med-surg clinical instructor and psych clinical instructor were really poor (each in different ways.) I got through it with gritted teeth and sadly realize that I was in a state of low level depression most of the semester. This semester is a world of difference: good instructors/ more interesting clinicals/ material. I think some semesters are just better than others and it varies from person to person. Try not to take this semester as a sign that you're not right for nursing. Think about what you can learn from your difficult experience (and there is always something to learn! In these situations it's not on the academic level but usually the life/interpersonal skill level.) So sorry you've got a bad CI. It stinks, I know.