I know I should be working on my care plans and reading! I can't believe I made it this far. I only made it this far by becoming a homebody. LOL BUT I'm on my last semester and I will be graduating this year! YEA! But up until now I do not feel like I want to be a nurse anymore. I really believe that the clinical instructor can make you your best or make you feel like ****.
In this journey, she gives our group anxiety. I never know when she will snap on us, for anything. Its like walking on eggshells around her. I feel scared approaching her to ask questions. I just want to avoid her everytime she approaches me. I feel so nervous around her that I get shakey.
Lately, I'll come home from clinicals and I cant study. My heart races before, during and after clinicals. It literally is racing this rotation. I cant focus because I felt so belittled. I dont want to work in a field like this. Is this what is to be expected? I actually feel incompentent after clinicals and it tears me apart. RIght now in my heart, I dont want to be a nurse. I force myself to go the clnicals. I do what I have to do and I leave.
People really need to think it through if they're up for such a job. I hope you get through this and find the kind of work you enjoy. The good thing in nursing is that there's many fields to go into...
In my last semester, I thought I didn't want to be a nurse. I knew I would be one, I just didn't have my heart in it anymore like I did for my intro semester and the first 6 weeks of my med-surg semester... I had a bad day in my last med-surg semester and for some reason it was so traumatic I thought I was going to quit. Then after that I never really had all the positive energy I had previously had; I just wanted to get everything overwith. So I felt like I was now stuck being a nurse and I wasn't going to be happy.
I didn't have any really horrible instructors. Here and there there was a nasty nurse. But I was definitely not going to let any ONE person ruin it for me. I had way more nice preceptor-type nurses than mean or unhelpful ones.
But now I am happy to say that since graduating with my BSN and passing my NCLEX, I got my fire back. What helped a little bit was the reviewing for the NCLEX, and then not being able to get a job in med-surg or anything right away... that made me REALLY want to be a nurse - I just wanted a job! And I have been lucky to have the ability to reflect back and find positive experiences - like remembering days where my patients made me smile, even if the staff were being horrible; or I got to shadow in an area I loved (like the O.R.). Sometimes I just tried to have a good time with my classmates despite the serious work we were stuck doing.
Now I am starting in an O.R. tomorrow - that was always my dream job, ever since about day one. And I just started having thoughts about missing med-surg and CCU... *sigh*. But I know there's a reason I always loved the O.R., and I know it's hard getting into one, so I had to do it (because it was the only department where I had a good relationship with the managers, from clinicals - it was easier getting a job there than it was to get one in med-surg).
I think school kind of bogged me down, but once you make it through you get revived. You have to know that there are a lot of good nurses out there and facilities that will support you. Even if you go into a place and it's not that wonderful - places are always changing. And if you can get some experience in one place, that will give you stuff to put on your resume for a new job somewhere better. And one day you will not be so new anymore :) This career is way too secure, and there are way too many opportunities down the road, for you to let mean people get to you. :) There are a lot of nice people out there, plus, you have the power to not let anyone get you down without your permission.
I'm in my 3rd semester and still want to be a nurse... Just worried about the job search once I finish. I had not anticipated that it would be this hard.
Now I am starting in an O.R. tomorrow - that was always my dream job, ever since about day one. And I just started having thoughts about missing med-surg and CCU... *sigh*. But I know there's a reason I always loved the O.R., and I know it's hard getting into one, so I had to do it (because it was the only department where I had a good relationship with the managers, from clinicals - it was easier getting a job there than it was to get one in med-surg).
I think school kind of bogged me down, but once you make it through you get revived. You have to know that there are a lot of good nurses out there and facilities that will support you. Even if you go into a place and it's not that wonderful - places are always changing. And if you can get some experience in one place, that will give you stuff to put on your resume for a new job somewhere better. And one day you will not be so new anymore :) This career is way too secure, and there are way too many opportunities down the road, for you to let mean people get to you. :) There are a lot of nice people out there, plus, you have the power to not let anyone get you down without your permission.
Congrats on the new job! It's great to hear a happy story about someone who stuck in there for the program, passed the NCLEX and is starting her/his "dream" job! Very encouraging!
Congrats on the new job! It's great to hear a happy story about someone who stuck in there for the program, passed the NCLEX and is starting her/his "dream" job! Very encouraging!
Firefly199
28 Posts
People really need to think it through if they're up for such a job. I hope you get through this and find the kind of work you enjoy. The good thing in nursing is that there's many fields to go into...