Lack of Confidence, I don't think I can do this!!

catzy5 · Sep 26, 2007

Hi everyone,
I don't usually post here but today I just need to vent. We had our orientation for Clinicals today and I am freaking out...I am not so much concerned about the paperwork, but I always doubt my decisions. Everyone in my class is so excited to start working with the patients, but I cringe when I think of it. Not because I don't like people, I am definately a people person, but I do not know what is wrong with me. Even basic things, like moving a patient from their bed to the wheelchair or to the shower or soemthing like that...we only did it for about half an hour in lab..and now I am supposed to know what I am doing with a patient? I keep telling myself that I can do this, yet while my professor is instructing us on how clinicals work, I am on the verge of tears bc I am embarrassed that I won't be able to do it. Embarrassed that if I end up quitting, I will have to hear it all from my coworkers, friends and family how I couldnt cut it.
I am just dreading to go next week, I am so scared that i put all this effort and money into this program and I am ready to bail ship already

Have you talked to any of your classmates about this? I am guessing 99% of them feel the same way as you, unless they have had CNA experience, this will be new to them as well. Try and relax, study what you need to know and go in knowing, you are there to learn, I bet once you get over the first day jitters you will be so excited to go back.

Catherine...easy for me to say I don't start until january.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Sep 26, 2007

99% of us felt the same way. Put one foot in front of the other and walk through you fears. You can do this. You'll be amazed at what you can do.

Jules A, MSN · Sep 26, 2007

I was also terrified. Please don't quit this soon. You are there to learn, if you knew how to do everything you would already be a nurse! Hang in there and take a deep breath. You will be very pleased when you realize that you can do a few of the skills you were taught in lab. Keep us posted. Jules

WDWpixieRN, RN · Sep 26, 2007

Hi from a 3rd semester student in an ADN program!!

I hadn't stepped foot in a hospital when I started last fall except to have my babies . We had about the same "training" as it sounds like you have. I spent the last 2 semesters feeling like such a dummy and literally sweating each clinicals week. The first pt I had with cancer who I did assessments on got drenched as the sweat was rolling off of my brow on to her!! Talk about stressed out!!

Take it one day at a time. Talk to fellow students. There hasn't been one fellow student in my class of 40 who hasn't felt like a total idiot in clinicals at one point or more. I think it's just the nature of the training.

My best advice is to do your best to relax and enjoy the learning. The people who seem to have it the hardest are the ones who get so stressed out they can't think or move. Don't allow yourself to get to that point. Most patients are so understanding that you're a student and until you move on to having more than one patient, are so grateful for the undivided attention you'll be lavishing on them, that they'll overlook what you feel is absolute goofiness on your part!!

Lastly, I would highly suggest looking around during your summer break (if you get one) for an internship of some kind or a job as a tech in a hospital setting. I was so fortunate to get one last summer that has helped me get over a lot of those jitters. It was a wonderful opportunity to work with an RN who really wanted to teach and not with an instructor who was grading me. I have stayed on in a tech position and it's just a wonderful chance to get comfortable with your various skills and working with people!!

Best wishes!!

allthingsbright · Sep 27, 2007

I've felt the same way THOROUGHOUT the program. The thing is, you CAN do it--it is just going to be a lot of hard work. Are you up for the challenge? Some people arent and that is ok...just dont waste your time! Do something you want to do if this isnt it!!! Good luck...

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Sep 27, 2007

. . .i always doubt my decisions. . .i cringe [am freaking out] when i think of it. not because i don't like people, i am definately a people person. . .even basic things, like moving a patient from their bed to the wheelchair or to the shower or soemthing like that...we only did it for about half an hour in lab..and now i am supposed to know what i am doing with a patient? i keep telling myself that i can do this, yet while my professor is instructing us on how clinicals work, i am on the verge of tears bc i am embarrassed that i won't be able to do it. embarrassed that if i end up quitting, i will have to hear it all from my coworkers, friends and family how i couldnt cut it. i am just dreading to go next week, i am so scared that i put all this effort and money into this program and i am ready to bail ship already

time for you to hear a little wisdom from someone who is a lot older than you and has been in the business a whole lot longer and gone through the same thing.

first of all, back to some basics. do you remember when you were a lot younger and were learning how to ride a bike, skate, or more recently learn to drive? can you remember what it was like to continuously fall off your bike or fall down when you were trying to maintain your balance on skates? did you feel this same sense of failure in decision making while riding a bike or driving a car? think hard about it because you did. part of the difference now is that you are much older and mature and understand the consequences of your actions. that's a good thing!!! because it will direct you to master these nursing skills. did you learn to ride a bike, skate or drive a car after half an hour? i don't think so. why would you think you can be a master at moving a patient from their bed to the wheelchair or to the shower in one clinical lab session?

secondly, i think much of your frustration comes out of a self-imposed recognition that you don't want to do any harm. that, too, is a good thing. mastery of any new skills takes time and practice. you are just touching the tip of the iceberg. these are basic nursing skills. there are many others to come, some much more complex. you have to trust that none of them are learned and mastered overnight. otherwise, you are going to go nuts by the time you get to the end of nursing school assuming you are able to handle that amount of frustration if you permit yourself to become frustrated that way.

when i graduated and started working as a hospital nurse i realized after a few months--a few months--that i really sucked at starting ivs. i was missing them left and right and feeling horrible about it. what i finally did was take an active role in doing something about it. i took the 30-hour iv certification class for lvns here in california (i am an rn, by the way) and started taking the opportunity to start as many ivs as i could find. eventually, and i'm talking about 6 months in time, i was starting to get better at it. 6 months is a lot longer than a half hour. some years later i had a similar problem caring for patients with chest tubes. again, i did something about it, went to a health sciences library a couple of times and pulled nursing journal articles on the care of chest tubes and read, read, read until i felt i had a much better understanding of them. then, i volunteered to take on every chest tube patient that came through our unit until i felt comfortable taking care of this kind of patient and their tube.

you are allowed to have your momentary personal breakdowns and disappointments as you are experiencing now. but i want to put you in perspective that you are expecting too much of yourself in too short a period of time. give yourself time to learn and perfect these newly taught skills. you will have to practice them, with careful caution, on many, many patients before you will begin to feel confident. we all, i'm talking about us veterans, went through exactly what you are experiencing. there is no way to make it go faster or any easier. it is because like riding a bike or skating, you have to learn how to keep your balance in a manner of speaking. just keep the rules in mind, work a little slower and get help if you need it. eventually, it all comes together and you will be doing these things like an old pro. but you must give yourself time. there are no shortcuts.

fmrnicumom · Sep 27, 2007

Daytonite, I wish I could give you a thousand thank you's for that post, because it is exactly what I needed to hear right now. :)

Svno7659, thank you for posting this. I think too often, we think we're supposed to be perfect at something immediately, or don't visibly see others struggling so assume they're not. It sounds like you're hard on yourself, too. (Guilty here!!!) Hang in there. You CAN do this. It will take time, but you can do this.

Tiffany

NoviceRN10 · Sep 27, 2007

Lastly, I would highly suggest looking around during your summer break (if you get one) for an internship of some kind or a job as a tech in a hospital setting. I was so fortunate to get one last summer that has helped me get over a lot of those jitters. It was a wonderful opportunity to work with an RN who really wanted to teach and not with an instructor who was grading me. I have stayed on in a tech position and it's just a wonderful chance to get comfortable with your various skills and working with people!!
Best wishes!!

Around here you cannot get a tech job until you have completed Med Surge 1.

To the OP, why not practice these skills on your friends and family? That is a great way to gain some confidence before you do it on a stranger. I am sure you aren't the only one feeling freaked about messing with live, strange patients :).

sddlnscp · Sep 27, 2007

It is perfectly normal to lack confidence on your way into something brand new. Actually, I would much prefer someone who was unsure of him/herself taking care of me or someone I love than someone who felt that they knew it all and was overly confident. I would have more faith that the unsure person would ask his/her instructor questions when in doubt and would ask for help when needed.

I am just starting my second year in an ADN program and I remember my first day of clinicals in much the same fashion. It was that feeling of - you are actually going to let us touch a patient? What if I do something wrong? Don't worry, your instructor will be there and you can ask for help as many times as you want, ask for clarification on anything and everything, that is what they are there for. They will help you, they know you have never done this before and they will guide you along. Even if you think the question is stupid or your asking for help on something you feel is crazy to be asking on, ask anyway. Chances are, your instructor has heard it before and they will not laugh at you, they will help you. Usually most students have the same questions, but many are afraid to find the answers. You can do this!

This motto has helped me to survive nursing school as there is always something new to be terrified of: Feel the fear, then do it anyway! I don't remember where I first heard that, but I live by it, otherwise I wouldn't have the strength to go on.

Of course it will be scary, we hold people's lives in our hands, but we are learning and we have our instructors to help us. We are compassionate and we care, we will learn the skills that we need and we will succeed as nurses, regardless of how difficult the journey is. :)

Take care! Feel the fear, then do it anyway!

svno7659 · Sep 27, 2007

Thank you all so much for your caring and support. Today is a little better, butI still have my moments..plus I have another week until clinicals!! I will keep you all posted on how it goes!!

Thanks again!

Laurie

land64shark · Sep 28, 2007

I was petrified going to clinicals. I'm still a bit shaky....and I graduate in a couple months. :lol2: