Just Plain Nasty Mean. What Would You Do?

TazziRN, RN · Jun 15, 2007

Ignore them. Until they address me with common respect, I don't respond.

Another tactic would be a steady gaze and a "I'm sorry, were you talking to me? I wasn't sure since my name isn't (insert word here)."

nurseaboveboard · Jun 15, 2007

Yes, tazzi, thanks. Most of us have tried the usual stuff. Some say "well, that's just ----." but others have told me they don't care at all for it. I actually have told this co-worker how I feel, especially about one of the names, but mostly just roll my eyes, try to ignore, etc. It's hard to ignore or try to constantly redirect a co-worker, esp. on nights, as there's so few of us and cohesion is really important, team spirit, etc. Lord, I sound like a cheerleader! Well, mostly it bothers me when I'm tired LIKE NOW! So, off to bed for me and tomorrow's a new day! Thanks all.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Jun 15, 2007

I have had a mean coworker everywhere, anywhere I've ever worked. There's always someone.

There happens to be a mean, nasty individual in my workworld now. She's snide, absolutely never smiles no matter what, makes it clear she'd rather not be in your presence in a dozen sweet little ways.

I happen to not like that SHE'S in MY presence, but the bottom line is, "so what?". Ignore her, do your thing. She'll be who and what she is with no input from me whatsoever, so why waste the time trying to change it? You didn't create her, and you're so very likely not to have any impact on her life at all.

I spend my smiles and cheers on those who exhibit humanity

ShayRN · Jun 15, 2007

Hate to say it, but it is time to take it to the higher ups. I had a problem on my last unit with a couple of employees who thought they were "joking." They kept taking it too far and finally someone told the management team. Well, I printed up the policy for "harassement in the workplace" brought them each to the office to show it to them. Not only is it not right, it is big trouble for the institution if they are aware of it and don't act on it. I say, tell the person you want the crap to stop and if it doesn't you will take it to your nurse manager and tell her you are documenting that she has been notified.

mom4josh · Jun 15, 2007

I had one like that a while back. She was mean, nasty, and always looking for something to report to the nurse manager. I was always afraid she would fabricate something and it would go too far. What made it worse was that the manager we had at that time was the kind to fuel the flame. She would talk to employee A about employee B, then turn around and tell B what A said about her! Ugh!!! Best 2 days on the job was when each of them left!

justme1972 · Jun 15, 2007

What amazes me the most is that these people stay employed at all. I ignore them until it's directed to me.

We had this one guy who came over, standing right beside of my desk, and actually referred to me as one of his pet nicknames...I looked at my computer, and kept typing, even surfed a couple of nonsense websites (weather.com), until he referred to me by name. Then I turned around, and immediately assisted him.

He never did it again to me...but he did it to other co-workers frequently, and this same dude brought a Bible to work everyday, and was one of the nastiest people I've met.

TRUENURSE84, ASN, RN · Jun 15, 2007

sounds immature but i always answer back and call them names too once we both (me & my mean co worker ) ended up in decipline commitee :scrying:

VegRN · Jun 15, 2007

Ignore it unless it is directed at you.

People that are mean and nasty at work are likely mean and nasty in the rest of their life too. Imagine how miserable their lives are??

If it is directed at you, ask them to not call you that name. If they continue, take it to the higher ups.

PaulshoeRN · Jun 15, 2007

Ignore it unless it is directed at you.
People that are mean and nasty at work are likely mean and nasty in the rest of their life too. Imagine how miserable their lives are??
If it is directed at you, ask them to not call you that name. If they continue, take it to the higher ups.

I often feel sorry for people like this and, I too wonder about how miserable their lives must be. I know it must be difficult but I try to remember that I have a choice of how other people's words, actions and attitudes affect me. I think keeping the focus on the people we are caring for can help lift our spirits as we try to ignore the caustic comments of the sourpusses in our lives.

jaslo98 · Jun 15, 2007

Just smile very sweetly at her and say "I love you too."

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Jun 15, 2007

Have you ever worked with anybody that just seems mean spirited? Doesn't single anyone out, all are fair game! Calls co-workers names just as everyday greeting? Not sure I should say the names, but some are quite caustic. I've been around the block, but these types leave me wondering. What would you do?

Tell them, "Don't call me that!", or "Stop calling Jane xxx!" and keep repeating these to them every time they say this kind of stuff to you. You should also report it to their supervisor or manager so they know what this person does. If you get brave enough, I'd start adding this, "If you call me that again, I'm writing you up." Then, YOU are singling them out. And, that is fair game because you are giving them fair warning to stop the behavior or there will be consequences. Obviously, ignoring them isn't working. These persons need a more direct approach and parameters for their behavior need to be clearly established.