Just Plain Nasty Mean. What Would You Do?

CseMgr1, ASN, RN · Jun 15, 2007

Hate to say it, but it is time to take it to the higher ups. I had a problem on my last unit with a couple of employees who thought they were "joking." They kept taking it too far and finally someone told the management team. Well, I printed up the policy for "harassement in the workplace" brought them each to the office to show it to them. Not only is it not right, it is big trouble for the institution if they are aware of it and don't act on it. I say, tell the person you want the crap to stop and if it doesn't you will take it to your nurse manager and tell her you are documenting that she has been notified.

I did just that a few years ago, when this one particular co-worker's ongoing nasty treatment of me turned to harassment. I got my supervisor behind closed doors and threatened to not only file a harassment complaint against this employee but also against her and her bosses, if it didn't stop. It did.

Shortly after leaving this employer, I learned that the individual who had harassed me was fired. What goes around....comes around. :angryfire

BigDog · Jun 15, 2007

My response that gets their attention is "I'm sorry were you about to offend me

nurseaboveboard · Jun 17, 2007

Thanks all! These are some good ideas, some of which I've tried, some not. You know, after 12 hours of it, it does feel like harassment. I need to find out if others have made complaints (other than to me). There were several incidents last night, one of which I included as reply to another poster. This coworker has a tough attitude, so some may be afraid to confront. We had a sweet, sweet nurse with us on nights who switched to days and I believe in my heart it was because of the language/name calling, etc. I asked her but she denied and said "I just prayed about it, and it was time for a change." Good news is I'll probably be changing jobs soon, otherwise, I can't imagine continuing to take it. I absolutely WOULD try to do something about it!

gitterbug · Jun 17, 2007

I agree with letting this person know you will not participate in the childish and mean behavior. Tell them to call you by name, if they persist in calling you names, make a copy of the harrassment policy, see the HN and report this behavior, giving her a copy of the policy, if the HN does not take action, go to HR and file a complaint. Even if you are changing jobs, others will be staying and they do not need to be subjected to this type of behavior. Prayer does help, so does counselling, and it seems that this employee needs some of both. I wish you a blessed day.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 17, 2007

Good advice here. I do agree that while you're deciding how to end it, be consistent and vocal each and every time it occurs. You might also want to make yourself a little note. Saying "this nurse always says such and such" isn't legal or going to cut it. Better to say "on June 17th at 7:15, 8:15 and 2pm I was called a xxxxx, on June 18th.........each and every time I asked them to stop.....", etc.

wincha · Jun 17, 2007

Have you ever worked with anybody that just seems mean spirited? Doesn't single anyone out, all are fair game! Calls co-workers names just as everyday greeting? Not sure I should say the names, but some are quite caustic. I've been around the block, but these types leave me wondering. What would you do?

First ignore. Then talk to your manager..this employee needs to be counseled... then talk to HR

gonzo1, ASN, RN · Jun 18, 2007

THis is called horizontal workplace violence. There are several informative web sites about it. This needs to be reported to HR and in the manner Tweety recommends. This type of behavior cannot be condoned or allowed. When I was new in my ER one of the younger nurses was stalking me and harrassing me. It took quite a while but she got fired. My life is so much better now. It turns out a lot of people were scared of her and were very happy to see her go.

anononurse · Jun 18, 2007

It does seem there is at least one of these types everywhere. We have a new nurse right now that has been a nurse for several yrs, but no experience in our area of nursing. She has an air of entitlement and is very aggressive & pushy towards the more experienced nurses & acts like a know-it-all in general. Her lack of experience & general ignorance is very obvious, and she does not accept suggestions from any of us. She is very snippy w/staff and patients, and kisses butt to admin. & our DON. As a result, nobody wants to help her- not that she ever asks- she "knows it all" already. I have found the best way to deal w/her sniping and rudeness & general bitchiness is just to ignore her. I don't answer her or communicate w/her unless it is directly related to patient care. It's the only way to avoid engaging in her mean games & giving her whatever satisfaction she derives from getting a reaction.

nurseaboveboard · Jun 18, 2007

Wow! I've NEVER heard of horizontal violence, and I've lived a pretty long time ha-ha. I'm rethinking this a little thanks to these posts.

justme1972 · Jun 18, 2007

THis is called horizontal workplace violence. There are several informative web sites about it. This needs to be reported to HR and in the manner Tweety recommends. This type of behavior cannot be condoned or allowed. When I was new in my ER one of the younger nurses was stalking me and harrassing me. It took quite a while but she got fired. My life is so much better now. It turns out a lot of people were scared of her and were very happy to see her go.

See, I read your post and I wonder.

Why are companies so reluctant to get rid of an employee who clearly does off-the-rocker things like that? Especially in employment-at-will states?

I worked one place where this new girl developed a fixation on another, very married, male manager (that she didn't report directly to).

She kept sending him e-mails, he asked her to stop if they were personal. She would drop him small presents at his desk, which of course got the office wondering what was going on.

They took her into counseling and they told her that she wasn't to speak to him, or contact him, unless it was work related, and if she did, her job was at risk. He wasn't her manager, so there was no need.

Sure enough, he came in one day with a police report...she had followed him to his house and was sitting outside of it, so he called the cops.

They escorted her out, unfortunately this guy had to endure 6 months of this.

Jo Dirt · Jun 18, 2007

Have you ever worked with anybody that just seems mean spirited? Doesn't single anyone out, all are fair game! Calls co-workers names just as everyday greeting? Not sure I should say the names, but some are quite caustic. I've been around the block, but these types leave me wondering. What would you do?

There is one in particular I am thinking of who is just a griping, hateful nasty person, and I dream of the day when I see her in Wal Mart and will find an opportunity to cuss her out.

Forget about class. You can't use class with these people, and I can get as redneck as necessary.

nurseaboveboard · Jun 18, 2007

You kids all keep me laughin' I'll tell you that! I'm not sure if people have complained about this co-worker just to me, or if anyone has actually gone to management. If they have, it wasn't effective. The next complaint made to me, I'll try to find out. Love you guys! ROCK ON!!!!!