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Just need some kind words...

Well I guess today I was on the family side of nursing. My Grandma has been in the hospital since last Friday. Apparently she had a mild heart attack some time ago and did not even know. She had fluid around her heart and was having a hard time breathing so they took her to the hospital. Of course she is 86, diabetic, obese, well you get the picture. Her kidneys are now only functioning at 15%. She has decided to deny dialysis if the time comes where she needs it. I know it is for the best. She has been suffering for years...I sat with her today and talked to her while I held her hand. I could see it in her eyes that it's almost over, but she wouldn't say that to me. I just pray that my Aunt and Uncle let her go in peace. My father is the only rational one in the family. I just can't bear to see her suffer any more. I have just seen it too many times with families of patients. "Oh please save Mom, Grandma, etc....do whatever you can..." Even though as a caregiver you knew what the patient wanted. I just don't want this to happen. Thanks for reading if you got this far...I just needed to get it out of my system.

Kind thoughts are with you...it is never easy for family members in these situations. Hope that things go peacefully...

Sorry you are having to deal with this.

If she is able to express her feelings and has thought things through now is the time to get the advanced directive done or updated and witnessed/discussed with all interested parties. Why hope not to have the potential of an ugly family thing when it can be potentially avoided?

If you personally do not want to discuss this with her and she is still in the hospital how about a call to case management or whichever department deals with it at that institution.

nursel56

Has 25+ years experience. Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

Hugs to you, L&Dnurse2Be {{{ :redpinkhe }}} I had a similar experience with my grandma- when I asked how are you, she said one word to me, very softly "miserable" and I knew she was ready to go-- stick as near as you can to her, it sounds like you two are close.

My prayers are with you. How kind and caring of you to see this woman as a human, not just how she is related to you. Make sure she has shared her feelings with her MD, if you can. Does she have a living will? Who is her health care advocate, or have DPOA?Are you able to have a conversation with your father supportive of her decision?

I know I am throwing questions when you need support and answers. Can the SW be of help? I have not met too many that were very helpful, but I keep being hopeful.

Take time to breathe and continue to hold her hand when you can. I am sure it helps her. Again, my prayers to yu and yours.

Feel free to PM me if you want.

Liddle Noodnik

Has 30 years experience. Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..

Well I guess today I was on the family side of nursing. My Grandma has been in the hospital since last Friday. Apparently she had a mild heart attack some time ago and did not even know. She had fluid around her heart and was having a hard time breathing so they took her to the hospital. Of course she is 86, diabetic, obese, well you get the picture. Her kidneys are now only functioning at 15%. She has decided to deny dialysis if the time comes where she needs it. I know it is for the best. She has been suffering for years...I sat with her today and talked to her while I held her hand. I could see it in her eyes that it's almost over, but she wouldn't say that to me. I just pray that my Aunt and Uncle let her go in peace. My father is the only rational one in the family. I just can't bear to see her suffer any more. I have just seen it too many times with families of patients. "Oh please save Mom, Grandma, etc....do whatever you can..." Even though as a caregiver you knew what the patient wanted. I just don't want this to happen. Thanks for reading if you got this far...I just needed to get it out of my system.

It was hard seeing my dad going thru so much suffering too, and I was glad when they finally arranged hospice and began to accept he was going to die. However part of that was that HE was not accepting it... poor guy. I hope that she can speak up for herself and tell the family NOW what it is she wants? My sympathies to you and her and all the family ... she is blessed to have you near!

Yes, it is very difficult step - to release the person, to relieve of tortures. But many think only of themselves. Don't worry...

Thanks for all the kinds words...I just wanted to update everyone. My Grandma passed peacefully on Wednesday night. She was given morphine for her pain. She died with all 3 of her children with her. They all honored her wishes. It is hard but I know this is what she wanted and she is in a better place now. I am just thankful for the last few hours I had with her before she died. Rest in peace Granny I love you!

My heart goes out to you and your family.

freefalr

Has 10 years experience.

l&d, i am so sorry for the loss of your sweet granny.

prayers being said for you and your family.

(((l&dnurse2be)))

nursel56

Has 25+ years experience. Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

Blessings and condolences to you on the loss of your Granny, L&Dnurse2B. :redpinkhe:redpinkhe:redpinkhe

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