Just had a Consent Agreement go into effect, I feel like I'm hanging in limbo

Nurses Recovery

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So to make a long story somewhat short, I was working at a hospital, full time, night shift ( I have been a nurse for 5 years) and also going through a lot of issues at home, husband with MS, taking care of 3 of my sisters kids for over 6 months, driving my husband to get Solumedrol treatments and then coming home, putting on my scrubs and going to work. I was also in the process of seeing a psychiatrist for the first time in my life because I guess I finally felt like I couldn't "hold it all in" anymore (long history of sexual and physical abuse) on top of everything that was going on at the time.

I thought I was doing the right thing, my job at the time didn't make it very flexible for me to switch shifts or call off (no-one wanted to switch with me I worked nights) SO I kept going to work, doing my job, until one night my supervisor pulls me off the floor (with a security guard) searches all of my stuff, drug and alcohol test me, sends me home...... Days later, everything came back normal, no drugs or alcohol in my system. The complaint stemmed from a "anonymous coworker" reporting that I was "acting strangely", "appearing tired in report". Well I was to go back to my job and the day before I was to go back they callled me in and basically forced me to resign or be terminated. They gave me a wonderful reference letter by the way.

I move onto another job, have been working their for almost a year, then a few months ago I receive correspondence from the board that my case in being investigated. I comply with them (knowing I didn't really do anything wrong), well then I end up being sent a consent agreement, putting my license on monitored probabation, with restrictions (such as not being a nursing supervisor, manager , etc) I do not have any drug or patient care restrictions. I have also hired an attorney to get the restrictions lifted (or try to).

Problem is, my current job, which I have been at for almost a year has had me on paid leave for 4 days while they "figure out what they are going to do with me". I have been their for almost a year, full time, great evaluations... And here I am sitting at home wondering If I am going to get a phone call and get fired!

I got kinda down on the world, like , can we not be RN's , nurses, whatever and be human beings also. YES, I was seeing a psychiatrist, I was tired, my body was adjusting to the medications he prescribed me but at no point did I make a med error, harm a patient or call off of work.

I find a lot of posts about drug and alcohol rehab but I cannot find anyone to talk to about this, or anyone who has been in a similiar situation. ANY bit of advice would be greatly appreciated!

Love ya!~

Specializes in EMS, ER, GI, PCU/Telemetry.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I think what I do is put all my self worth into my career as an RN, so the past few weeks not working, I feel worthless. Volunteering or even working for an organization like that is an awesome idea. My husband gets upset when he comes home and I am in a crappy mood just laying around but I feel like the time off has kind of sucked my energy out of me. I think I need to find self worth in something other than my job because people face things like this everyday and I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and "do something" about it! I can't tell you all how much your support has helped me get through. To hear from other nurses and people in the medical profession that do not even know me and want to help and even just their kind words really help me pull through! Thanks again. :heartbeat

goto, your story is heartbreaking and i wish you all the best in everything. i am so sorry this is all happening to you and i will say a prayer for you that it gets better soon. you have so much on your plate already and it sounds like your employers and the BON have no compassion at all. tomorrow will be a better day. keep that positive spirit and enjoy the time you don't have to work by doing something nice for yourself--even just taking a bubble bath or a nice walk.

mental health is covered under the americans with disabilities act. http://www.ada.gov/pubs/ada.htm. i would ask your lawyer about this.

i hope for all the best for you and your family. :redpinkhe

Specializes in ICU,CCU,CVICU,SICU.
i am sick of the politics. i am sick that "a seasoned" nurse can go on leave to take care of a "substance abuse problem" (which i think they should be able to) but people find out i am starting to see a psychiatrist and now my entire nursing future is n jeopardy. no wonder there is a nursing shortage!! dammit can't we be human and be nurses too? i never once put any patient in jeopardy, i checked and double checked my mars and called dr's in the middle of the night to clarify orders that were unclear! i am not perfect, but no one is! it ******* suks that someone can hear something personal about another employee and "anonymously" report it to the bon. i know the bon is there to protect the public. but in my case i have provided everything they have requested and have been cleared by more than one dr. to practice nursing with no restriction but still will have this on my record forever!!! (...)come on,, i was reported for being "tired and acting strange" and now my license that i worked hard for is on probation with restriction when everything (urine/blood) turned out normal and no patient complaints or med errors! .

my god! dear gotogirl, i feel your pain and your anger!

but i simply don't understand what the don is accusing you of?

from what you say in your posts, you were reported for "being tired" and "seeing a psychiatrist"??????!!!!!!

since when are those things against the law? or against good nursing practice?

i work most of my (12 hours) night shifts on an empty stomach and a full bladder....i too am exhausted, thirsty , hungry and frustrated when morning comes, and rightly so!

so what!? i don't get it....who isn't tired after such an overnight marathon? maybe i should sue my employer for putting me in a situation that increases my chances of making a mistake and jeopardize my career? they would just laugh in my face!

but all of a sudden, you are tired, and it's a crime??? what the f#@$%!!!!!

and since when does seeing a psychiatrist is considered like a "bad thing"? that is pure discrimination!!!

if you have the stamina, i think that you should actually deposit and officially sue both the hospital and the bon for discrimination based on a medical condition! that is very much against the law!

you know the adage: the best defense is to attack! i think that it might get tricky for them when they have to explain in front of a judge why they are harassing you and compromising your livelihood and your reputation based on "anonymous" hear-say about personal and medical stuff that has not impacted your practice in any way.

i would personally be willing to start a fund raising to help you pay an excellent attorney to represent you when you accuse them of discrimination! both the board and your past and present employers are to follow the laws against discrimination (they even write it in their website, corporate rules etc...) get them to explain publicly what ground they are basing their actions against you. they are going to look so bad, that they might end up being the ones to be in deep caca!

i am so ****** for you, please don't let them make you a victim, because they are so wrong, that they can't get away with it, especially if you stand up for yourself and make them officially respond for their discriminatory (how many times did i write that word so far?) behavior and actions.

please attack them before this goes too far. you have every right to be treated fairly, and suing them would be a statement that you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of, but they certainly do!

contact the press if necessary! i can guarantee you that they are not gonna look good!

geez! this is disgusting!:angryfire

please keep faith and courage, and fight for your rights!

ok, sorry, i got really worked up here, but i think it is beyond scandalous and unacceptable!

may the force be with you and don't forget that many nurses & other general public will side up with you if only your situation was made public. let's start a petition, let's make a stink until those 2 organizations publicly apologize to you and retreat with their shameful tail between their shameful legs !

b.

Specializes in ICU, Telemetry.

Go back and get a degree in psych, and work with nurses who have mental health issues. You have been in the trenches, and that will make you a valuable employee to a mental health hospital that specializes in the medical/nursing client.

And I would sue the living crap out of the current employer if they fire you. Get in touch with http://www.bazelon.org/about/index.htm; they live for cases like this. I wish you the best. Go get them!

Specializes in OR, HH.

DON'T GIVE UP. YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TO OFFER TO LET THE ---HOLES IN THE WORLD TRY TO HOLD YOU DOWN. I DON'T SEE HOW TRYING TO HELP YOURSELF BY SEEING A PSHCH DOC SHOULD HURT YOUR CAREER. DO YOU FEEL LIKE HURTING YOURSELF OR OTHERS??? fROM THE SOUND OF IT I WOULD SAY NO.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Specializes in ped/adult medsurg, specialty infusion.

I know, that is what I am trying to figure out. LIke I have said a million times, my drug screen and urine came back fine, I didn't have any patient complaints, they just went off of what a coworker reported about me that I was acting strangely and appearing tired I guess. I am compliant with seeing my psychiatrist and my therapy. I was diagnosed with depression (which now is is substantial remission according do my dr's report and PTSD d/t years of physical and sexual abuse in my childhood. I have thought about obtaining my Master's degree in psych. nursing because I have been on both sides of it (working as a RN with psych patients and being a "patient" myself). I am just human like anyone else and take my profession seriously. My attorney told me that if I would have contacted her as soon as the BON called me that this probably would have never happened. I guess I just didn't know at the time how quickly this can all snowball out of control. I cooperated with the BON and I thought that is all I would have to do because I didn't feel like I did anything wrong and that they would see that. I don't know it is all very frustrating. It is becoming more difficult to "keep my head up". I still haven't heard from my current employer although I do not have any restrictions to work there. I don't know what to do. But I truly appreciate everyones advice and honestly sometimes reading the comments is what gets me through the day and puts new ideas in my head on what I could be doing instead of laying around and feeling sorry for myself (which I do not like to do I am just very "worn out " not knowing what is going to happen to me. Thanks to everyone, again! :heartbeat

Specializes in OR, HH.

What the other employee said is heresay. If that is the case then anyone can say anything about anyone. That is insane. I have not been in your situation, but could see how it would affect you and make you feel "worn out" So what if you were tired (Ican't tell you how many times I have as well as my co-workers have shown up to work tired. As far is your behavior, what are they saying you were doing??????? Were there any other witnesses or just the one nurse.

I truly would file a lawsuit against the hospital and also the other nurse. If she is doing odd things like this, what is she doing to her patients and their mental well-being.

DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!! STAY STRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!

Specializes in ped/adult medsurg, specialty infusion.

Well guys, I got called in today and was terminated-- d/t this incident at my previous employer that happened over a year ago. I was fired d/t it is against their policy to have nurses who are under consent agreements. (Although I was approved by the board to continue working their with no restrictions). So yeah, now what am I supposed to do, apply for jobs, say Hi, I was just fired d/t having a mental breakdown (or whatever you want to call it, it did not affect my job) and was reported to the board of nursing and now I am on probation by the Board for 2 years, you want to hire me? Right.. I feel like why would they hire damaged goods. Just thought I'd give everyone an update BTW, does anyone know if their are any blogs or websites for nurses with depression or mental illness, I find a lot about addiction and recovery ( which I guess I am in recovery from depression and ptsd) but didn't know if their were specific ones. :crying2:

Specializes in LTC, MDS, Education.

Hi GoTo, Just got home from work, enjoying a Margarita :smokin: and read your post. I am sickened. Embarassed to be a nurse. Have been through this crap myself and it is no frigging picnic. I have spent my time in bed underneath the covers too. I re-read this whole thread and you got some great advice. When my license was under investigation (for something similar) and I had the interview, I "spilled my guts". The third place was impressed with my honesty and hired me. I worked my ass off for them for the next 5 months til I went to the BON. I ended up representing myself and after 6, yes 6 years, they closed the case. I am still on the same job, 18 months later. My point is, DON'T GIVE UP! Keep posting, because we all care about you. This can happen to ANYONE! I'm sending another big hug to you and will say a prayer too......:redbeathe

Specializes in OB, HH, ADMIN, IC, ED, QI.

GotoGirl:

Thanks for keeping us in your loop - and an unjustified one it is. Here is some food for thought: the actions of the BON speak more about them, than you; people are generally phobic about mental health; things happen for a reason as yet unknown, and possibly never known; and although you have every right to be angry, vent that in healthy ways, not self destructive ones. Exercise to release endorphins that elevate your mood.

Get away from nursing for a while. That's very refreshing. Work at something that's more like play. A friend of mine, a Nurse Practitioner made cookies at a bakery after the clinic she started was sabotaged by the doctor she thought was her ally, and he took it over.

Please think positively about your future, and positive things will happen. It would also be good to keep a journal for its therapeutic value, but also to look back at when this is all over. Your strength will see you through this. Also keeping with allnurses.com will maintain your identity as a nurse. I've had to retire (just before I turned 70, due to age discrimination) and that's what this site does for me. I just wish that in 2 years I could get back to work again......

However I'm volunteering at different agencies, reading a lot, and enjoying life. Best wishes to you, for finding your own peace, and being able to forgive those who wronged you.

I am not familiar enough to help much and sorry you are going through all this, however I am VERY amazed..am I mistaken? You got fired from your old job on suspicion alone even though never proven for drug/alcohol, or possibly simply for getting help with a psychiatrist? Then to top it off, you have now been placed on probation for the same suspicion? I haven't read the entire thread, sorry, but read your last post and am still amazed, I am assuming your lawyer has given good advice and wish you well hoping things will improve for you!

GotoGirlRN, what state are you in? I want to make sure I NEVER work there. I know these people exist everywhere unfortunately, but I wasn't to know which state's BON is going to encourage and condone such atrocities. So what if you are seeing a psychiatrist for depression, that's covered by ADA as a disability. I really hope you get through this okay, my thoughts are with you.

Sadly, I see this type of behavior in nursing school and encouraged by faculty, its sick. :barf01: Why is a profession that is suppose to be so big on caring so hostile to its own members. Is it really so hard to treat each other with the slightest modicum of respect and dignity that every human deserves??? I haven't even started my career and I'm over it. Thinking of going back to school to get my law degree. At least in that field, they stab you in the front and you know what you're dealing with upfront.

Specializes in ICU.

Well, crap.

You know, this is a pretty good place to find nurses that have experience finding jobs with restrictions/stipulations.

You WILL find another job. It just won't be as easy as it has been. It will be a little harder. How hard depends on how hard you want to make it.

If you go out there, gung HO and pound the pavement, having face to face time with managers, you are more likely to land a job pretty quick. If you call them and talk to them, you're more likely to not get a job very quick.

I suggest going to the recovery forum. I know that you're not addicted or recovering from addiction, but you can get a lot of advice there on how to find a job even with probation, or whatever it's called.

Good luck to you. Use your experience to help other nurses not to get into the same situation.

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