Judgemental co-worker

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Hi there. I have an issue that I'd like your input on how to handle it or ignore it. I work in a peds unit with a coworker whom is very nice. (At least that I know of.) She is more experienced than me but at times does not seem open to new ways of thinking and we have in the past had some tense moments. With her having more experience, she thinks she know ALL. Now, I am bullheaded at times but I will have the courage to admit when I am wrong about thing. My co-worker will get very defensive and take it personally when she is wrong about something. (Nursing school one of the first things we were taught was how to take criticizm[sp?]. Maybe she missed this in nursing school...) Not only can she not take criticizm, but she herself is extremely judgmental and critical of others. She does it in a way that is very unprofessional.

At any rate, there was a situation this weekend where she was very loud about her judgements toward a patient and the parents. She was not quite, in fact, quite rude. I was embarrassed that another nurse would say things like this. For sure if she would have heard another nurse say those things - she would be all over them about speaking that way. (Pm me and I can explain further what happened) My coworker is very judgemental about all patients/parents. If a parent leaves for a moment - she's critical of them leaving. If they breastfeed in front of her without covering up - watch out! she'll talk about how gross it is. {This one ticks me off because we are peds nurses for gosh sakes, babies breastfeed - it's only a breast!} I find myself getting very annoyed with this coworker and there is no way not to work with her. Moreso, I find myself getting angry that she can say these things and the parents may be there - or her voice may travel down the hall to the rooms. This is so unprofessional and unkind. I really really am sickened they way she carries on about things. I would never dream of saying things about people the way she does. And then if someone says something to her - her feelings are hurt and she ends up crying...

Anyways, I'm not sure if I really need a reply or if I just needed to vent. THanks!

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Specializes in Trauma/Burn ICU, Neuro ICU.

Holy Moley! Doesn't the CN hear any of this stuff?? Don't the parents complain about her comments? That would make someone take action.

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that is horrible

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

This is, unfortunately, a well established pattern of behavior for her. I doubt if anything you say to her will cause a sudden change in her behavior and her dim view of the world and those who inhabit it.

She would severely drive me crazy. People like this belong in a back office somewhere so they don't have to deal with people.

Do the objects of her derisive comments ever hear her? If members of the public complain, then that might make an impact. You could encourage them to do so.

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We are small and have no CN. This woman really thinks EVERYONE likes her. (Several parents have told me in the past that they were glad I was their nurse and not her.) As we are such a small unit, it's hard for me to say something as well as not wanting to be a "tattletale".

One thing is for sure - if my kids would have to hospitalized, she is not to be our nurse. Medically, we would be taken care of, but I know for a fact she'd be saying things to tear us down - whether I heard it or not.

It's really a sad situation that she does this and doen't think twice about the things she says.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

If I were you I would gently ask some leading questions of the families that find this nurse offensive. I'm sure that you will be able to ellicit more of their feelings without being too direct. Then, when they've shared with you enough to be of concern, you can give them helpful information as to the process for lodging a complaint. Tell the family that this type of feedback really helps the hospital make improvements and that they welcome it from the public.

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Specializes in Rehabilitation; LTC; Med-Surg.
At any rate, there was a situation this weekend where she was very loud about her judgements toward a patient and the parents. She was not quite, in fact, quite rude. I was embarrassed that another nurse would say things like this. For sure if she would have heard another nurse say those things - she would be all over them about speaking that way. (Pm me and I can explain further what happened) My coworker is very judgemental about all patients/parents. If a parent leaves for a moment - she's critical of them leaving. If they breastfeed in front of her without covering up - watch out! she'll talk about how gross it is. {This one ticks me off because we are peds nurses for gosh sakes, babies breastfeed - it's only a breast!} I find myself getting very annoyed with this coworker and there is no way not to work with her. Moreso, I find myself getting angry that she can say these things and the parents may be there - or her voice may travel down the hall to the rooms. This is so unprofessional and unkind. I really really am sickened they way she carries on about things. I would never dream of saying things about people the way she does. And then if someone says something to her - her feelings are hurt and she ends up crying...

Anyways, I'm not sure if I really need a reply or if I just needed to vent. THanks!

If I were you I would take this issue to your immediate supervisor. If the situation is not resolved, keep working up the ladder until you get a resolution (you will one way or the other). She clearly does not know how to work in a team environment and her attitude - and lack of professionalism - is a deterrent to quality patient care. Even then, if you choose not to disclose her inability to work well with others, you have a case simply by bringing up the fact that she talks badly about patients and their families in an area where it can be heard by the family. That is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE!

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

I disagree. In a small unit complaining to management can be social suicide. This situation required more finesse than that.

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Specializes in LTC.

Hmmm...........if she is that bad then why don't the parents complain about her? Just a thought..........

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Specializes in Rehabilitation; LTC; Med-Surg.
I disagree. In a small unit complaining to management can be social suicide. This situation required more finesse than that.

"Social suicide."

Who's more important, the patient or your "social career?"

There is no shortage of nursing jobs in the United States.

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If I were you I would gently ask some leading questions of the families that find this nurse offensive. I'm sure that you will be able to ellicit more of their feelings without being too direct. Then, when they've shared with you enough to be of concern, you can give them helpful information as to the process for lodging a complaint. Tell the family that this type of feedback really helps the hospital make improvements and that they welcome it from the public.

I think this is the best place to start. The families may feel like this is normal behavior, but need to have their feelings affirmed that what the nurse is doing is not acceptable. It's very difficult to have a sick child and this type of behavior is 100% unacceptable.

I take this to heart because not only am I an RN, but I'm also the mother of a child with special needs. This nurse would not last very long with me and my husband. I would have no problem filing a formal complaint, in addition to just telling her off directly. Thankfully, I have had mostly good experiences with the pediatric nurses I come in contact with. They have treated me with the utmost respect. I've maybe run into a few bad apples here and there, but for the most part, they have been very good.

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My guess is that at least some of the parents have complained. She might have been talked to or they might have reasons they have not done anything.

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