Issues in the workplace

TriciaJ, RN · Dec 13, 2017

Try not to get bogged down by the stupid stuff other people do and say. You are now a professional; it should take a lot more to register on your radar in terms of social interaction. Is this person just trying to get to you because she knows she can? Why not just absently agree with everything she says while focusing on your work?

Sour Lemon · Dec 13, 2017

I've been feeling a little frustrated at work. Everytime I work with this one nurse I find her constantly commenting on how good the other nurses are for example "so and so should be a doctor she's so smart ect." This nurse is a senior nurse and I am a junior nurse and the other nurse she comments on are also junior nurses. maybe I am feeling Envious (as much as I hate to admit it), but I just find it slightly annoying that she is always commenting on their skills, but never gives me a comment... I mean everyone can use a little confidence booster especially if you're still pretty New. Maybe it's just me. I've been trying to ignore it and not let it get to me, but I can't handle it anymore. I feel like it's making me feel a little less confident. Anyways, just wanted to know if anyone else has ever experienced this and how they dealt with it.

Just say good things about yourself. Announce them in front of her and everyone else.

Audi3181 · Dec 13, 2017

I don't know, she doesn't seem like the person to do that, but I do agree with her while doing my work. I don't know why I'm letting it bug. I think I'm just a person that needs a little pat on the back once in a while lol! Especially while I'm still learning lots

RNperdiem, RN · Dec 13, 2017

I see this as a senior nurse tactic to manipulate people.

Praise here, cut-down there, confidence undermining there and you have a sort of power. It is a shabby game to play in front of a new person with fragile confidence. She loses power if nobody care about her opinions.

If she starts spouting off some unsolictied opinions on other nurses performance, it is time to remember something you have to do right now. Don't volunteer to listen.

RNNPICU, BSN, RN · Dec 13, 2017

It spunds like idle chatter to me, just conversation for conversation's sake. Maybe she says positive things about you to others? Is there anything that initiaites the conversation specifically? If not, just say, oh yeh righht Nod your head. LIkely this is just someone wanting to talk but doesn't really have anything to say. Likley it has nothing to do with your skills.

Wuzzie · Dec 13, 2017

So let me get this straight...you are bothered because she is saying nice things about people? I believe I've now heard it all.

FTR are you completely sure she isn't saying nice things about you to others?

Here's my advice: You are an adult working in the adult world. The days of getting patted on the back are pretty much over. You will be much happier and healthier if your self-esteem is generated from within. Relying on external sources for confidence and feeling good about yourself is never satisfying and is frequently hurtful. Set reachable goals for yourself and celebrate when you achieve them, do something nice for someone just for the heck of it, learn a new skill, give a presentation on something that interests you, give back to your community, have a chat with a counselor but do not expect your co-workers to make you happy. That is entirely your responsibility.

JKL33 · Dec 13, 2017

Anyways, just wanted to know if anyone else has ever experienced this and how they dealt with it.

Ignore it completely, especially since it is something that bothers you. You are having a problem with it, so take positive action. Leave the area or else remain very engrossed in whatever you're doing to the point that you can't reply and might not have even heard the comment anyway.

You have so much to learn. Focus on that instead, and feel good about the fact that you're doing it. I understand what you're saying as far as how it is nice to receive positive feedback every now and then, but you would be far better off checking in with your manager once in awhile to make sure your learning and progress is on track rather than willfully allowing your emotional health to be so affected by the babbling of a co-worker. Feel good about learning to take great care of people.

I think it is fair to say that training yourself to develop your self-esteem and confidence as a nurse in much healthier ways is pretty much a matter of survival - I fear it will be a rough road if you spend much time focusing on things like this.

Davey Do · Dec 13, 2017

Positive reinforcement from others is good- it reinforces our need to feel like we're important individuals and motivates us to continue on our path.

But if we need to find our worth in what others think of us, we're going to be like junkies and others will be our dealers. If we put our own opinion of ourselves above what others think of us, we can process a positive self-perpetuating feeling.

External validation is like a fix; like Lays potato chips- you can't eat just one.

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