issue with leaving newborn to return to nursing school

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Okay Im planning on returning to school for :confused:lpn nursing - but one issue is my son will still be a newborn and i feel guilty about leaving him with a sitter.... so when is a good time to go back? i feel so guilty

Specializes in Holistic and Aesthetic Medicine.

Wow, tough call.

It sounds like your life is uniquely set up for you to be able to go to school right now. You have a dedicated babysitter. With a move coming up, childcare will never be easier than it is now. You have money coming in from hubby. You would only have to be in school until 2:15 so you'd still get a lot of time with the baby.

And on the other hand, every moment with your new baby will be precious. The previous poster is right, you have to think about study time too.

I don't think that there is a wrong answer. You just have to pick which choice feels lighter to you and then jump into that choice whole heartedly!

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I say do it now. I just had my 3rd baby myself. If you wait the risk you run into is being very tired and "tied" up during your kiddos kindergarten and elem years, those are crucial and I will argue almost MORE crucial than other time periods! if you are a nurse you could work around important times while your kids are in elem school, making sure you dont miss anything. Is this your first? if it is, you will probabably have another.... and then you have to manage TWO children, juggling everything. I for sure say get it over with now. Just my 2 cents, many of my peers (I am 36 years old) are now almost 10 years out of school/work. Its very difficult to not feel lost, confused and look at a future that looks very challenging, they are all having to start again from scratch (wishing they would hae finished long ago)

Being a SAHM myself recently, and having many friends who also SAHM, I will tell you that you will never ever know what could happen to your marriage, your husband, his ability to bring in money, all that could negatively impact your family in ways that you cannot even imagine. Having more education under your belt to guard against this possiblity, will only make you a stronger mother and wife for having options.

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I waited until my youngest was in kindergarten and there was after school care available.

When they are two months old and your husband is deployed, I know it sounds like a good idea to keep yourself busy but it's busy you need to be not school busy.

A lot of posters will say "yes, go for it" but what happens if you have a colicky baby? One who won't sleep through the night? God forbid you have a complicated delivery or develop a case of PPD. What will you do if the baby is sick? I know you said your Granny is willing to babysit while you're in class but what about early morning clinicals and late nights studying and clinicals?

You are choosing to bring a life into this world. Be there to enjoy the first few years. Do you really want to hear about the first steps and tooth from your Granny or other family member? It's hard enough that your husband will miss those firsts but should he hear about it third hand?

How does your husband feel about you attending school two months postpartum and leaving his child in family care? I know some will flame me for sounding old-fashioned but he does have a say in this as well.

Only you can do what is right for you. But is it really right to return to school with a deployed husband and a newborn? You say he is good about the overseas pay, well bank it and save it for a more stable time to go to school.

School will always be there, a newborn grows up.

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I say do it now. I just had my 3rd baby myself. If you wait the risk you run into is being very tired and "tied" up during your kiddos kindergarten and elem years, those are crucial and I will argue almost MORE crucial than other time periods! if you are a nurse you could work around important times while your kids are in elem school, making sure you dont miss anything. Is this your first? if it is, you will probabably have another.... and then you have to manage TWO children, juggling everything. I for sure say get it over with now. Just my 2 cents, many of my peers (I am 36 years old) are now almost 10 years out of school/work. Its very difficult to not feel lost, confused and look at a future that looks very challenging, they are all having to start again from scratch (wishing they would hae finished long ago)

Being a SAHM myself recently, and having many friends who also SAHM, I will tell you that you will never ever know what could happen to your marriage, your husband, his ability to bring in money, all that could negatively impact your family in ways that you cannot even imagine. Having more education under your belt to guard against this possiblity, will only make you a stronger mother and wife for having options.

That's exactly when I went to nursing school. I was there for the after school sports. After graduation, I was still able to attend fieldtrips, help at hot lunch days. BUT the important time is to be there in the evening, we all know that kids can get into more trouble from 15-23hours than we ever thought possible.

We all hope we will have long and stable marriage, especially when our other half is in the military. Using nursing as a safeguard is what many military wives have done over the years. But it's a different life than those in civilian marriages.

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im only 23 and no this isnt my first child, he's my 3rd lol. yes with mu hubby deployibg babysitting would be bad in another state,all my family is here in connecticut. everyone opionons are very true. in life its always sacrifaces and i have to choose them wisely.

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Aww...I feel for your situation and understand completely. I had my 1st child at the end of my 1st semester (December) of nursing school and went back that January and I really couldn't focus with everything going on at home, being a new mom, balancing school work etc etc, so ended up withdrawing and going back in August. For me, that was what was best because I was able to take 5 classes and get A's and B's in all and while I am behind my classmates, I was able to spend the time and focus on my home life and now I can balance both.

If you can balance it all...then I say go for it, but there's no shame in taking the time off that you need.

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I agree with greenykilt. If you have a good babysitter I would go for it now. I have 4 kids and waited 15 years to start taking pre-reqs. My youngest was 3 when I started and Ive been taking it slow to still be a full time Mom. I am glad I never put my kids in daycare, but the flip side is suddenly finding myself broke.

I used to have a new house, and my husband made a good living for our family. Today we are just scraping by , I no longer have the nice house and while my expenses keep going up our income keeps going down. Without 2 incomes, its been very rough the last few years.

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yes nowadays its very tough even for working families..its ashame. even my cna salary is a joke!

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If you're uncomfortable doing it now, then don't do it. You will be the only one to tell when the time is right.

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Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.
Hi, I know this is a difficult decision you have to make, so whatever you, you have to follow your own heart. However, since you posted here, I guess you're looking for other opinions, so...I say if you can afford to wait even a year to resume taking classes, you are still young, and your baby won't be that young forever. I would even say if it were me, I wouldn't take any classes except part-time until my baby started kindergarden. Any classes you take is going to mean time away from spending it with your baby, and you won't get that time back because it will be different when your baby is school age. And, it is not just time spent in class, it is time spent commuting to class (unless it's online), as well as time spent studying. Since you are still young, I would say (only if this feels right to you) to spend your time with your baby because school will wait but your baby won't be a baby for very long, so cherish his babyhood ;0) I hope this helps, and you will know what is right for you!

I agree. You're the only one who knows your situation. I take it that your baby is due this spring. You may feel differently one way or the other after the baby is born. That happens to a lot of moms.:heartbeat If you can afford to put school off for even a couple of years, you will never regret having missed the baby days. Of course, sometimes we have to work no matter what and it's a rare mom who isn't conflicted about leaving their baby in someone else's care 40+ hrs a week.The adjustment to parenthood is not to be dismissed.

I was very fortunate, my husband was able to mostly support us with me working a shift or two every week. In fact, when DS was 5 I decided that was the best time for me to go back to school for my NP. Well, you know what happened--after 9 years of infertility my body chose that particular time to work right and I got pregnant. :clown: A year later it happened again!~So much for NP school. I knew that I didn't have it in me to put my babies in daycare 5 days a week while I went to school and studied and worked. It was too much for me. Ultimately I elected NOT to go back to NP school and I've never regretted it. We all make choices in life. Just make sure the choices you make will matter in 10 years.

Best of luck to you.

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Specializes in Professional Development Specialist.

Only you can decide, but I'll tell you my story. There are 2 years worth or prereqs to get on the waiting list for my school. Then there's a three year wait. You can defer ONCE before you go back to the bottom and wait another 3 years. When my number came up a little sooner than I expected, I had just had a baby. She was just a few weeks old and my husband was unemployed, and a class had expired. So I had to take that class still, but it wasn't really a good time for us either way. Turns out there is never a good time!

Fast forward to just before that class started, 5 months before school started. Well, things happen. :lol2: My bonus baby was born January 3rd, and I went back to school January 7th. It SUCKED. But at the same time it didn't. Because he was so little we couldn't get daycare so lots of family chipped in and took their vacations in CO, holding the baby while he slept and serving dinner when I was still at clinicals. My stepmom and aunt never had kids, and they learned the beauty of snuggling a newborn. He slept on my chest while I read chapter after chapter and studied like crazy. I felt like his babyhood was slipping by but now he's 2 and I remember his babyhood better than the other kids.

If I could have done it another way I would have. But at 35 when my son was born I wasn't interested in waiting until 38 to start school. I'd been working on it since before I got married! I realize mine is an extreme case but it can be done. I don't regret it.

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wow jennifer-- jan 3rd your child was born and by jan 7. u were in school! i knew that had to really suck, but u have to do what u have to do. when you are a mother its so hard to do things for yourself its never the right time. plus i wouldnt put y newborn in daycare that early! So u were lucky to have family to help:)

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