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Is my supervisor trying to get me to quit?

Posted

Specializes in L&D. Has 6 years experience.

Hi Everyone,

I really need some advice.

My supervisor has lately been ignoring my schedule requests and giving me strange schedules and I think she is trying to "weed me out." I don't know--maybe I'm just being overly-sensitive and paranoid.

Two weeks ago, I brought a "bullying" problem up to my supervisor. Another nurse, "AN," has been nasty to me for the last 8 months. When I came back to work after having had surgery in March, she was angry that I was working OB Triage "all the time" and loudly (before report, in front of other nurses) complained about that. I ended up working with HER in Triage that day. She was COLD AS ICE to me. Initially (becaue I didn't hear her complain that morning in the report room) I thought that maybe she was just having a bad day and didn't worry about it. Her complaint got back to me the next day.

I felt very hurt by her complaint because I thought we were friends, or were at least friendLY. I was able to talk to the nurse she complained to, who denied being the "one who was worried about it." I didn't get to talk to AN because she wasn't there that day. I was so stunned that she had complained that I...talked to a couple of other nurses about it. That was immature and wrong of me. At the time I didn't know what else to do to process me feelings.

I'm sure things got back to AN because her coldness towards me almost started a new Ice Age. I sent her an e-mail, apologizing for having talked to other nurses. She remained cold towards me and did not even address the fact that she received th e-mail for SEVEN WEEKS. When she finally did talk to me, she had her eyes half-closed and talked to me like I was an idiot and said that she "didn't have the time for all this high-school drama." She said she "had a job to do." I replied that "Neither do I, and so do I." I brought the situation to my supervisor's attention and simply requested that I not be assigned to work side-by-side with this nurse in the OR or Triage. She had no problem with that.

Throughout all of this, I contimued to do my job and take her of her patients PRN as well as mine and others'. ( I work L&D, so I just answer call lights no matter whose patient uses them). I acted professionally. Honestly, I did. Perhaps because of this, AN and I were able to find a happy medium and work together. I then checked back in with my supervisor and told her that things were resolved between AN and I and we were working together well.

About a month ago, AN started be cold and rude to me again. She was relief charge one day (a day that I was only there for 4 hours) and micro-managed me from the minute I got there until I left. Those 4 hours felt like a full 12.

At that point, I had it. I talked to my supervisor again and told her that AN was displaying bullying behavior toward me and I was not going to tolerate it. I was becoming stressed about going to work and being at work whenever she was there. At that time, my supervisor seemed understanding and concerned and wanted to solve the problem. I said that I did not want an intervention at the time but if another event occurred, I wanted something done.

The next thing I know, my schedule goes haywire. Suddenly I'm getting one-on, one-off, one-on, one-off work weeks, my requested days off are not being granted (which I need to take my special-needs daughter to appointments), and I am working a LOT more weekends when other people are working one or two weekend days in the monthlong schedule. I also happened to notice the rough draft of the schedule sitting out one day--almost everyone else's requests were filled in while mine line of the schedule was left blank, as if I was going to fill in all the empty spots. Additionally, I was scheduled to work the day before, of and after Thanksgiving when I worked Thanksgiving the year before. (On my unit, they say that if you worked a particular holiday the year before, you will get it off the subsequent year).

Additional information: I am the ONLY person AN doesn't like at work. Fact. Everyone else thinks she is HILARIOUS, even though she loudly and regularly swears at the front desk. (I have brought this up as well--it is BEYOND unprofessional). I mean, AN is funny, I'll give her that. She'd be a great stand-up comedian, but the bar language belongs in a bar, not in a hospital. AN also thinks quite a bit of her nursing skills. She carries on like she is about as smart as they get and I am not the only one who has noticed that. So, there a clique that I am not in and have no interest in.

I am going to confront my supervisor about all of this tomorrow but I need advice on what to say to her. I feel like she is bullying me as well with the schedule. Maybe she isn't. I don't know. I love my job with a passion, but I feel like I am being weeded out. Am I, or am I just paranoid? Thanks for your opinions.

Edited by ABQLNDRN

can'twait2B1

Specializes in Psychiatric, ICU, MED-SURG.

Are you the newest nurse on the floor? I can't see why they would schedule you as the "fill in " nurse unless you were lower seniority. I would def talk to supervisor and if things don't get better I would take it higher, "weeding out" nursing staff sounds highly unprofessional to me. I would consider transferring to a different unit or finding another job all together. Good luck.

ABQLNDRN

Specializes in L&D. Has 6 years experience.

Actually, I am higher in seniority. There are 9 nurses below me. Go figure! Ugh.

General E. Speaking, RN, RN

Specializes in floor to ICU.

Is your schedule crazy because your manager is trying not to schedule you with "AN"?

ABQLNDRN

Specializes in L&D. Has 6 years experience.

I can't believe I forgot to mention this--my supervisor actually scheduled me to work WITH that nurse on the 3 Thanksgiving days!!! Outrageous! It's as if she is supporting the bullying!

Sounds as if you have figured out who the supervisor supports in this clash between employees. Probably best on your part to transfer or find a new job. Or, grin and bear it. I would stop complaining about the other nurse altogether. However, I would definitely clear up the situation with the schedule. That is important if you are going to remain working in this unit.

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT- TIMES, DATES, WITNESES.

Keep track of goings on, scheduling, etc.

JMHO and my NY $0.02.

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Somewhere in the PACNW

canoehead, BSN, RN

Specializes in ER. Has 30 years experience.

The two problems may be related but you will need to address them separately. Speak to your supervisor about teh scheduling and how it's messing up your plans. I wouldn't mention any conflicts with other nurses.

When you work with AN again and she treats you poorly take her aside and tell her you've been trying to be helpful and professional but when she....it makes you feel.... (attacked, left out of the team, angry, whatever). If there is a problem, let's talk about it, if there's no problem then you expect to be treated with the same respect as the rest of the team. Be specific about the behavior you need stopped and how it alters patient care. Ask a coworker to be a witness. You need to assertive with this woman. Tell her if there is a problem with your work you expect her to tell you, and not hear about it third hand. That is the only fair and respectful way to act.

hmmm....did I write this? LOL....**** happens everywhere I guess!

Edited by Silverdragon102
changed to all **

misschiatia

Specializes in geriatrics/long term care. Has 15 years experience.

Canoehead is right. Address it first with nurse AN in front of a witness. You have to stand up to yourself. Lindarm is right. Documentation of dates, times, witnesses, and behaviors can only help your case. The supervisor does seem blissfully unconcerned about this issue. Fake concern at your first interview not included. And it sounds like alot of energy is being wasted, or sucked into this negative situation. Energy you could be spending taking better care of your patients. If you can't find resolution with your supervisors, it might benefit your state of mind to transfer out of that toxic place. Some people thrive on that stuff, so if it is tolerated there, that may be somewhere you don't want to work.

Whenever you're scheduled to work with her, eat LOTS of beans before you come to work! :eek: Continually place yourself in close proximity to her and ask her repeatedly what you can do to help her.

Ruby Vee, BSN

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching. Has 40 years experience.

my supervisor has lately been ignoring my schedule requests and giving me strange schedules and i think she is trying to "weed me out." i don't know--maybe i'm just being overly-sensitive and paranoid.

two weeks ago, i brought a "bullying" problem up to my supervisor. another nurse, "an," has been nasty to me for the last 8 months.

i sent her an e-mail, apologizing for having talked to other nurses. she remained cold towards me and did not even address the fact that she received th e-mail for seven weeks. when she finally did talk to me, she had her eyes half-closed and talked to me like i was an idiot and said that she "didn't have the time for all this high-school drama." she said she "had a job to do." i replied that "neither do i, and so do i." i brought the situation to my supervisor's attention and simply requested that i not be assigned to work side-by-side with this nurse in the or or triage. she had no problem with that.

i acted professionally. honestly, i did.

about a month ago, an started be cold and rude to me again. she was relief charge one day (a day that i was only there for 4 hours) and micro-managed me from the minute i got there until i left. those 4 hours felt like a full 12.

at that point, i had it. i talked to my supervisor again and told her that an was displaying bullying behavior toward me and i was not going to tolerate it.

the next thing i know, my schedule goes haywire. suddenly i'm getting one-on, one-off, one-on, one-off work weeks, my requested days off are not being granted (which i need to take my special-needs daughter to appointments), and i am working a lot more weekends when other people are working one or two weekend days in the monthlong schedule.

additional information: i am the only person an doesn't like at work.

i am going to confront my supervisor about all of this tomorrow but i need advice on what to say to her. i feel like she is bullying me as well with the schedule. maybe she isn't. i don't know. i love my job with a passion, but i feel like i am being weeded out. am i, or am i just paranoid? thanks for your opinions.

am i the only one who sees a lot of red flags in this post?

you complained because your coworker was "nasty" to you . . . and you complained to your supervisor no less. you said you didn't want to work with her anymore because she was mean to you -- and now your schedule is going haywire. schedules are hard enough to work out without considering personality conflicts that a staff member is unable or unwilling to solve on her own. you've got scheduling requests because of your special needs child, and scheduling requests because you cannot get along with a coworker. which scheduling requests to you intend to take priority? the ones for your child's appointments or the request not to work with an? or did you think all of your scheduling requests should be granted?

yes, your supervisor may be trying to get you to quit. you've become someone who is a lot of work for her to deal with. you're running to "mommy" with complaints that a coworker is mean to you, unwilling to try to solve the issue on your own and now you want special treatment so you don't have to work with the mean old bully -- who you admit gets along with everyone else.

not everyone is going to like you. accept that an doesn't like you -- for whatever reason -- and move on. unfortunately in your case that might be moving right on into another job because evidently your supervisor has decided she's had enough. if you really want to stay in this job, you're going to have to learn to get along with an, solve your problems on your own, and prove to your supervisor that you're not going to be a problem to her anymore. good luck. it's very easy to get a reputation for being difficult, very difficult to overcome that reputation.

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN

Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU. Has 19 years experience.

OP,

Your post just validated why I hate working with women.

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN

Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU. Has 19 years experience.

am i the only one who sees a lot of red flags in this post?

you complained because your coworker was "nasty" to you . . . and you complained to your supervisor no less. you said you didn't want to work with her anymore because she was mean to you -- and now your schedule is going haywire. schedules are hard enough to work out without considering personality conflicts that a staff member is unable or unwilling to solve on her own. you've got scheduling requests because of your special needs child, and scheduling requests because you cannot get along with a coworker. which scheduling requests to you intend to take priority? the ones for your child's appointments or the request not to work with an? or did you think all of your scheduling requests should be granted?

yes, your supervisor may be trying to get you to quit. you've become someone who is a lot of work for her to deal with. you're running to "mommy" with complaints that a coworker is mean to you, unwilling to try to solve the issue on your own and now you want special treatment so you don't have to work with the mean old bully -- who you admit gets along with everyone else.

not everyone is going to like you. accept that an doesn't like you -- for whatever reason -- and move on. unfortunately in your case that might be moving right on into another job because evidently your supervisor has decided she's had enough. if you really want to stay in this job, you're going to have to learn to get along with an, solve your problems on your own, and prove to your supervisor that you're not going to be a problem to her anymore. good luck. it's very easy to get a reputation for being difficult, very difficult to overcome that reputation.

ruby. the exact reason why working with women is a near impossibility. hence my reply in the other posts.

gah. :uhoh3:

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN

Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU. Has 19 years experience.

Whenever you're scheduled to work with her, eat LOTS of beans before you come to work! :eek: Continually place yourself in close proximity to her and ask her repeatedly what you can do to help her.

Nice. Very passive aggressive.

:uhoh3:

PostOpPrincess, BSN, RN

Specializes in M/S, MICU, CVICU, SICU, ER, Trauma, NICU. Has 19 years experience.

The two problems may be related but you will need to address them separately. Speak to your supervisor about teh scheduling and how it's messing up your plans. I wouldn't mention any conflicts with other nurses.

When you work with AN again and she treats you poorly take her aside and tell her you've been trying to be helpful and professional but when she....it makes you feel.... (attacked, left out of the team, angry, whatever). If there is a problem, let's talk about it, if there's no problem then you expect to be treated with the same respect as the rest of the team. Be specific about the behavior you need stopped and how it alters patient care. Ask a coworker to be a witness. You need to assertive with this woman. Tell her if there is a problem with your work you expect her to tell you, and not hear about it third hand. That is the only fair and respectful way to act.

Very good answer.

enchantmentdis, BSN, RN

Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.

You are not going to be able to remedy this situation where you will come out with a better deal. Neither the supervisor or AN are going to be of any help to you. This is the cut-throat business of nursing. You are now viewed as a complainer who cannot get along with others and who pesters management with your problems. I am not saying that i believe this, but it looks as though the people you work with do. You are beating a dead horse. Cut your losses and transfer to another dept. or float pool stat.

ABQLNDRN

Specializes in L&D. Has 6 years experience.

Ruby--excuse me? I don't run to "mommy." I did try to resolve this problem on my own. I tried twice to communicate to AN, who invented this whole "problem" in the first place. People like you are the exact reason that workplace bullying is rampant. BTW, I have only complained to management twice AFTER trying to resolve the problem myself. What a stupid phrase--"You run to mommy." You don't know the first thing about me, lady. Conflict is a part of life and work is a part of life. Managers are supposed to manage. You're saying that I should just deal with this as if I should just take my lickings and keep on ticking? Lousy answer. I will NOT BE BULLIED and TREATED WITH DISRESPECT and SHAME ON YOU FOR INFERRING THAT I SHOULD. Additionally--I'm not asking her not to schedule me with her, as in asking her not to schedule me on the same days, I just don't want to work with her when the daily assignments are made. VERY easy to work around that. Also, I don't need you to tell me that not everyone will like me like I am stupid and don't already know that. I don't give a rat's behind if people don't like me but I do expect them to be professional and not be bullies. Judging by your response alone, I can see that you are a very negative and condescending person and give creedence my points about nasty people in the workplace. ALSO--EVERYONE else at work likes me but her. The reason she doesn't like me? Because I worked Triage and she wanted to work with her buddy instead of me that day? STUPID. Not even a good reason. I tried apologizing to her and she threw me the cold shoulder for 7 weeks? Then she rolled her eyes when we finally talked? I didn't approach my manager until I tried to resolve it on my own and couldn't.

JoPACURN--I don't like cattiness, either. That's why I am asking for people's opinions. I want it to stop. I want professionalism in my workplace. Like I said, I don't care that she doesn't like me. I just want her to be professional when I am around her, just as I am to her. "That's why I don't like working with women." What a sexist statement. How counterproductive.