Is it a rule that you MUST be miserable for your first year?

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What other career besides nursing says that it's normal to be depressed and anxious and physically ill during your first year on the job?

I've been working at my new job Med-Surg NOCs in an inner city hospital for 7 weeks now. Obviously, I have a lot to learn so I'm dealing with the newbie stress and anxiety and having to learn so much. I work my butt off and give my utmost, but like most new nurses, I'm depressed, anxious, sleep deprived, yelling at my kids and my hair is beginning to fall out. In short, I think I'm heading for a breakdown. Worse, my kids are 13 and 15 and are begging me to quit because they don't want to be alone at night. (The job only pays new grads $18/hour so I can't afford to pay someone to stay with them and I have no family.) Our 12 hour shifts always turn into 14-15hrs too.

Everyone has said that the first year is pure hell for a new nurse. I didn't like clinicals and had suspicions that bedside wasn't for me. Now I suddenly have a job offer in my old career which pays more and is a day desk job. But everyone has told me that I should just stick with this bedside job and that it would be a complete waste of my nursing school if I quit now.

So here's my question: Is it a rule that you MUST suffer a nervous breakdown for a year in your first nursing job? Will I never be able to use my nursing degree if I don't work bedside for a year? And has anyone just ever got that degree and said it wasn't worth it and done something else? (I know people say keep going to school for more options but at my age, I don't really have the desire to go to school until I'm 60 and I wouldn't be able to recoup the cost of the additional education since I don't have decades before I would retire.)

What other options are there for a new grad? Has anyone just say f*** it and gone on to a different career after getting that nursing degree?

(Thanks everyone in advance for your advice! This board is awesome.)

Specializes in Trauma | Surgical ICU.

Is it a rule? I certainly hope not. In my first year, I cried and was stressed out but it was because I wasn't where I wanted to be. The moment I moved to ICU, I felt my worth and my part in the whole team. So maybe it's not that it's your first year but where you are and who you are with. We give little importance to who we work with but to be honest, a hard job will most of the time be fine if you like who you work with.

If you want to further your career in nursing, I believe it'll help you greatly if you have bedside experience. That said, it's not necessary for every nursing job to have bedside experience.

As for your other questions, I can't really answer those as I stayed in nursing. There are still days when I want to pull my hair and cry my eyes out but that's part of nursing. It's part of wanting to do a good job for our patients. So don't give up just yet!

No, it won't be a complete waste of nursing school if you don't stick with this bedside job. I think that you hating it, your kids begging you to quit and having an opportunity to make more money at a day shift job so your kids won't be scared, is really a God thing! The job offer is the clincher. That, and your kids needing their sleep during the physically and emotionally rough teenage years which they can't do if they are scared while you are working.

Step away from bedside nursing to make some good money until your kids are a little older and then when you and your family is ready for you to go back, you will be able to! It might take a little while but you will get a med-surg/bedside when the time is right!

Good luck!

Specializes in Med/surg, Onc.

I have been stressed out, nervous, exhausted, and scared. I have not been eaten by experienced nurses. I've been supported and encouraged. I enjoy my job. I am learning so much every day and some days are a disaster but I've never felt like quitting or that I made a mistake.

I think the right place makes a huge difference in this. So if you are miserable where you are start looking for some place else.

Specializes in ER.

Your problem is a life problem, not a nursing problem. You are a single mom without a support system. You chose a career where sometimes the only open position involves working nights

Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.

I am a new grad. 7-8 months into my 2nd job. Just graduated 12 months ago. I have not been miserable at my job as a new grad nurse.

I have teenagers, too and to be honest, they were not "supportive" of the lifestyle changes that came along with my choice to attend nursing school and this career. But, I can also see that I was too apologetic to them and self depreciating. This was the pattern in my (prior) marriage, for me to serve everyone else.

Your teens shouldn't tell you to quit. I teach my littlest son that mommy has to work so that we can live in our home, buy Legos, Pokemon cards and food. I tell him this regularly so that he can understand the sacrifices he and I make for me to have a career that pays the bills.

Yes, he and I sacrifice a lot of time together in order for me to work, albeit, not nights. I've done PMs, AMs and Mids. I miss soccer games, I can't watch soccer practice, I can't pick him up from school. He goes to 2 different daycares in order to accommodate my work schedule.

I was unhappy at my first new grad job, management was poor. But I have been very happy in my current position over 90% of the time.

Try to find a good for your needs, all work places aren't equal. Try to be optimistic.

I think the right place makes a huge difference in this. So if you are miserable where you are start looking for some place else.

This.

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

New graduates are often hired in to entry level jobs that are in less than ideal or desirable units or facilities.

The calibre of the employees is not the best. The preceptor is usually someone who has not been too successful, is quite bitter about it, and a large reason for their lack of retention.

Even major medical centers have these understaffed overworked set you up to fail and blame you when you do units.

They call it a pulmonary unit or a teaching unit but it is just the end of the line for pts. who they can not place.

Med Surg nights in an inner city hospital sounds like your typical entry level job.

If you surveyed the nurses here and asked what was you first job like, and maybe someone should, you will hear I had to start at the bottom and work my way up to my specialty unit. Choose wisely.

I do not feel that new nurses should be blamed or made to suffer in unacceptable work environments. Some of the posts that I have read here are heart wrenching.

I feel for the original poster, I really do. It is not you, it is the situation. In your shoes, I would resign and go work for CVS or Target until a decent job opened up. In the working world of nursing we know which facilities are the bottom of the barrel and leaving such a place will not limit your opportunities. Best wishes, Maggie

I understand what you are going through. I was a single mom for a while. You need to find an office position or home health position during the day while your kids are at school so you can be home at night. I would stsrt looking immediately. You use a lot of skills in home health and you can even look into private duty or LTC facilities. Even if you choose to stay at home with your children a few more years a work non Nursing Jobs, you can always get back into nursing when they are grown. All you would need to do is find local seminars to keep up your continuing education credits for your license. I went to nursing school with a few girls who are still staying at home with their children for a few more yesrs and I have been out of RN school for 2 years. Do what is right for your family but I would be afraid to leave my babies alone at night and I understand why they would be scared. Many employrrs understand why you would need to be eith your children and why you didnt utilize your nursing skills right away :) good luck to you!!!

Thank you! I appreciate the encouragement! It's all been helpful.

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

The fact that so many graduate nurses are ill equipped to function on a general medical unit speaks volumes about the quality of nursing education and lack of clinical training.

The first year should not be "pure hell" if the ratios are safe and the GN has received a quality education.

Specializes in Med/surg, Onc.
The fact that so many graduate nurses are ill equipped to function on a general medical unit speaks volumes about the quality of nursing education and lack of clinical training.

The first year should not be "pure hell" if the ratios are safe and the GN has received a quality education.

i agree because im a new grad and while I feel nervous I feel supported and I'm aware of my resources etc. my orientation was wonderful and I felt well equipped to start on my own. I don't feel like puking before a shift or crying after one etc.

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