Is a nurse in the ER joking to a patient like this appropriate?!?

[Laurenslovely]

I (a nursing student close to graduation) took my dad to the ER for chest pain last night. (He suffered a MI). He was immediately treated by a group of very pleasant doctors. The male nurse who was caring for my father quickly got too comfortable because my dad is a very calm and friendly patient. He rubbed me the wrong way when he quickly started advising my dad how he should eat, work out etc (as if my father was not already educated from this long standing condition and already taking very good care of his health to the best he could.) The male nurse then made a JOKE I did NOT think was funny: "I guess you were just born with bad genes!" my dad takes everything lightly and didn't get upset but I do NOT. Is this appropriate in the context of a joke from the "Nurse?" I seriously am developing ANGER towards this nurse today as my dad is still in the hospital. Should I let this go or report this? Also, he was sloppy when he inserted the IV and there was blood everywhere!!

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

I am so sorry your father has had a myocardial infarction. This is a life changing event .

You are an educated professional . This effects you on another level.

I agree with you, that was NOT the time to educate your dad .

He is having a HEART ATTACK!

Teaching should be done after the event.

You are angry ... and rightfully so.

This is the time to support the family and the patient.

As far as the messy IV start,, don't focus on that... concentrate on the big picture.

My prayers to you and your dad.

As ED nurses, WE educate constantly at the bedside. For some....we are the only access to healthcare that they have. We educate when we discharge about what to return to the ED for....what to watch for....how to walk on crutches...how to rate their pain. what to expect in the OR/Cath lab/CT/MRI for their emergency treatment/intervention. We teach them about seat belts, and helmets. How to feed/burp and comfort their newborns. How much medicine/antipyretics to give for the weight....what to do when their croupy baby wakes up barking. We make small talk to pass those anxious monents and to build rapport. We teach everytime we explain what's next

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Laurenslovely:

I have a suggestion for you. Please print out this thread, in its entirety, starting with your post. Punch holes so that you can place in a report folder, and place this in the back of the binder you'll use when you start working as an actual nurse.

At the end of your first year, be sure to take that folder out, and read through this thread once again.

I'll bet you'll be shocked at what you read in your original post, perhaps with a bit of embarrassment at the indignant tone. That will tell you how much you've matured as a nurse in that time. Time and experience will have a way of making you see the value of the "male nurse's" role that day.

Wondering why it was mentioned that this was a male nurse, anyway, but that's just my curiosity I suppose.

[cjcsoon2bnp, MSN, RN, NP]

To the OP, I'm sorry about your Dad. I can only image that it must have been very frightening for both you and him. I wish him a speedy recovery. I can understand that in that time you are scared and worried about your Dad and wanted only the most professional, competent care for your father as any child would wish for their parent. Having read your post carefully, I think that the nurse who took care of your father had the best of intentions and was trying to put your Dad at ease with a joke while providing valuable teaching which may help to prevent another MI. I agree with another user who recommended that you print this thread and look back on it after you have been a nurse for a year, I think it will change your prospective. Best of luck with your Dad!

!Chris

[NicuGal, MSN, RN]

I remember when my dad was ill and I felt the same way you did, but, teaching from the nurses went farther than me trying to tell him things or get him to do things....I don't know what it is with family members, but that is the way it is! I think the nurse was great for going over things, lightening up the situation ( I am sure he gauged your dad before he made that comment) and as for the IV, I have started IV's on some babies that makes Freddy Krueger look tame! Hang in there!!!

[redhead_NURSE98!, ADN, BSN]

And I agree...families and their impossible to please attitudes is another reason people leave nursing...

What?! Personally I enjoy when the loud mouthed "nurse" daughter from Texas flies in on day four and starts quizzing and berating us about everything we've done for her mother for the past four days! Especially when she's relying on the words of her other family members, who are utterly uneducated and cannot properly explain a single thing about what has transpired! That's what makes it all SO FUN!

[BrnEyedGirl, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN]

So sorry to hear about your Dad,...sending prayers for a speedy recovery.

I'll take blood on the floor over three or four sticks any day! It happens to the best of us and as for our sense of humor,..I try to be lighthearted in hopes that it is contagious and helps to relieve the tension. I will try in the future to be a bit more careful about my sense of humor,..I never intend to hurt someones feelings or in any way be offensive,..just trying to calm a stressful often scary situation!

[Creamsoda, ASN, RN]

I dont get why your so upset. I dont think the nurse was rude by anymeans. No I would not report that. What is it about that statement that made you so upset? Your did obviously tries to stay healthy but despite his best efforts, had an MI, sure bad genes play a role in cardiac issues.