Is it like this everywhere???

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Apr 19, 2002

Think of all that energy wasted!

Quote:

."if one person is allowed to slide on some offense then everyone should"

See to much of the I-Me in nursing these days instead of "We".

It is the "We" mentality that has helped nurses manage their work load over the decades....and the Nurses captured at Battan during WWII to all survive and come home.

It is the WE that bands together to force improvements in a work setting. Very rarely do the 'I's manage to get things accomplished.

nightingale, RN · Apr 19, 2002

Have to agree Karen.. it is in the Attitude that WE will survive! Love your new quote...

One of the big reasons I stay in agency is because of this type of bickering....

Nurse101.. I agree... it permeates in the business world etc.... too....

I like the philosophy that many said.... ignore it.. do not participate in it.... and worry about what you yourself are doing....

The negative attitude of @#$% of staff wears you out more then a real patient crisis.... ....

B...

grandma rn38 · Apr 19, 2002

yes it is the same here to. the nurses get mad if some one get a day off that isn't on their reg day off, and we all have to work 8 hr shift, because q one doesn't want to work 12 hr shift. there is no in between shift. one nurse spends 3 hr's of her shift looking for things to write up, always causing trouble at work, she needs to spend more time taking care of her pt's. and for the nurse that wants to go into cosmotology been there done that, its the same to, where i work is a small hospital, we have 2 to 3 nurses on the floor and 1to 2 nurses in the er, so we work together and you can't say anything at all unless the other person runs to that person and tell them what you said. I have only work there a year now.

SharonH, RN · Apr 19, 2002

Yes, it is like that everywhere. And the same is true of hospitals, prisons, home health, and clinics. It is exactly the reason I have worked per diem for 10 years now and I have no intention of changing.

mattsmom81 · Apr 19, 2002

The only way I've seen self scheduling work with 8 and 12 hour employees is if the 8 hour employees are willing to work together to fill the FTE, and be flexible, realizing they're upsetting the apple cart. Havins 8 hour prn people, IME, works better than 8 hour FT'ers. Otherwise it creates havoc and resentment.

I can relate to the petty junior high-ish behavior. It sucks, doesn't it and it's hard to stay above it sometimes..... We think 'nurses shouldn't be so petty' but intelligence and pettiness can coexist and we sure prove it as a group...LOL!

A good manager who is a leader can control alot of this but we don't get to choose our manager, do we? So we do what was suggested...go to work, keep our mouths shut and go home to our loved ones. :) Or we learn to speak up verrrry carefully.

micro, RN · Apr 19, 2002

Originally posted by hapeewendy
the B.S. that comes with nursing unfotunately is universal.
its the same anywhere I've been, there are nice nurses, great team workers , but the sour, manipulative, ego centric ones always seem to take away any good vibe to a floor/unit.
some people thrive in conflict and gossip
I'm not one of them, but I feel I have been sucked into all the drama by default.
we all ***** n moan about things but I sincerely believe that some ppls sole purpose in life is to be unhappy and revel in their misery.
and in so doing, bring others down also
I try to ignore it, rise above it, see through it
but when youre in the midst of it, even the best of us leave the floor with our blood boiling.
if only there was a remedy, sadly, as long as many different personality types are working in close contact in a high stress environment we cant seem to escape it, because our job is what it is, we are stressed to the max daily.............
if i had my way i would go to work ,take care of my patients, do the best job I can, be there for my co workers and come home at the end of the shift, period.
in a perfect world maybe :)
so my longwinded answer to your initial post is a heavy sigh and that yes of course it is like that here too......

great thread and responses.....everybody.....

unfortunately true.....it is not just in nursing/health care/hospitals but is SURELY THERE.....

Factor these:

way too many people=nurses, other dept's, docs, pt's, families

very close working environment

very different personalities

different educational and abilities

each person with different expectations of the day/hours shared

life and death situations

X=__________________

Y=__________________

and now to quit ramblin'.........cause I have been going through the candle too much on both ends again.....no one to look at but myself.......

DM.....I admire you.....

short and succinct.........

k'

will end with

HERE TOO!

micro:p :p

hang in there everybody.........it is a great thing we do.........

there are more of us than them(happeewendy said it.....there are some ppl that seem only to enjoy life to revel in their misery and make others equally miserable)

we are more.........just keep the positive energy and teamwork flowing and the + will outweigh the -

:cool: :cool: :cool:

NannaNurse · Apr 19, 2002

Boy, I don't feel so 'isolated'. It's really sad that this is going on everywhere....not just nursing, but I really think it's worse with nursing. We not only have to deal with the many emotions of our patients, we must deal with our co-workers, who must deal with patient emotions as well.

I, too will keep track of everything I do, keep records of things that 'I' do. I've kept notes and 'memos' that have been used for the good.......my good, in some situations.

If I'm 'promised' a certian shift, I want it in writing. I also make copies of the schedule when it comes out. One place I worked was famous for changing it after posting and then attemptin to write up nurses for NC/NS.

It is very sad that it's like this. I work with people who 'supposedly' have degrees/diplomas and act like pre-schoolers.....Kudos to all of you who stay strong and refuse to fall prey to the idle gossip that can literally destroy another person.

tiger · Apr 19, 2002

don't get me wrong on this subject. my co-workers and i get along great and cover for one another. it is the acting manager that we collect evidence against. she tries to make up rules as she goes, whatever suits her at that moment.

petiteflower · Apr 19, 2002

Things are the same everywhere--but what I have found works for me (and it really worked) is to be the example. Even though I am screaming inside sometimes, I always come to work with a smile on my face and do my best for my patients and let all of the whining and complaining roll off of my back. I go home knowing that I did the best that I could and kept a good attitude about it--and you know what? They laid off of all the ##### to me. It still goes on--and it always will---but I don't have to let the other's sour attitudes affect me.

Huganurse · Apr 19, 2002

Before I was a nurse I worked in male dominated jobs and hung out with the guys. It was a real awakening when I entered nursing and I thought, gee, is this still high school?

Over the years I have worked with some great nurses who usually kept the back-stabbing to a minimum, that is because when I did work in places where it was impossible for me to be relaxed and myself due to the b*ch'n and backstabbing, I left. I usually tried to help others work things out and calm things down at meetings, and also keep the sniveling off the unit, by just reminding the people I worked with to knock it off. But if they did'nt, it was no sweat off my back. Luckily I work in a metro area and have the advantage of many opportunities. I learned very early on in my nursing career, and have made it my motto, that at the beginning of any new job-----I AM NOT THERE TO MAKE FRIENDS! Never is that even remotely one of my goals. Luckily I have many friends outside of nursing although I do have freinds who are nurses too. Now, if I happen to make friends later on---great, if not---so what.

I almost always have gone to work with a smile on my face, a bounce in my step, ready to take on my day no matter what the setting or who I work with. Not worrying about what others are saying or doing is fine with me. But, if I happen to be the charge nurse I will tell you about the call light down the hall if you are just sitting around talking. I won't get involved in tit tat spats and tell people to work it out between themselves. I took it to management if it got too bad and it was affecting patient care. This should never happen IMO. I'd let them know that they were being unprofessional which usually stopped it right then. I am glad I don't have to deal with all of that anymore!

I now have the most wonderful job that I can think of: I go to a different place everyday, work with different people and different patients with different situations. I never get bored and when the s#!t is hitting the fan, I can walk the other way and be glad I am not involved! I also, go to work, do my job, and leave.

Try talking to the offenders. Let them know that they are in need of a midol or hormone replacement---tell them to chill out, if they blow up then you can report it, and tell them they need a psych evaul. LOL. Stay out of all of it as much as posible and let them know they do not affect you. Just ignore the BS and focus on your patients.

I thought that with poor staffing, that by now the nurses wouldn't have time for this kind of behavior anymore.

I'd also like to mention that this backstabbing goes on in any environment that are female dominated. Men do it too, but not with the cat scratchin' and not as often and even less often in mixed gender situations. HuGS!

grnvillechick · Apr 20, 2002

WOW!!!! I slowly came to the same realization a few years ago..we tenderly care for the pt--but can turn around and rip another nurses' head off...or ruin her rep..or even get her fired....dare I say it...is this Human Nature????

One hospital I worked at ----that seemed to have the lowest level of this type of interaction--- actually sent thier employees every year to a 3 day workshop. Held in the Education classroom, this workshop had no limits of who came...so in a group you could have nurses, lab tech, housekeepers,and dieticians. And all of the activities dealt with team work...in the most subtle of ways. Like in one section, you all got up on the beam of wood...and then were told to arrange yourselves in order of birth...youngest to oldest...but you could not fall off the beam...it amazed me how you naturally held out a hand to steady or help..like we should do on the floor. Another time, we were put into groups, given a list of materials and told the following scenario--if you were shipwrecked, would you stay in the same spot to be found, or hunt for help. All you could use were the items on the list. When we were done, it was very insightful to see who did what and why. SO I do not know whether or not this would work for you...a small group prob would...but see if you could get your DON to do team building workshops, or inservices. that hospital has been my favorite place to date !!!

ChristenLPN, LPN · Apr 20, 2002

As sorry as I am to find that this goes on everywhere, it is almost a relief that this isn't the only place where this kind of BS happens. Two months ago I left a job very much like this. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made- I have spent most of my time in OB-GYN nursing and I love my patients. I loved my MD and leaving this was gut-wrenching. But the practice I worked for required me to be there 5 days a week, despite my MD being there 2 days a week, and the gossiping and backstabbing was intolerable. We had mostly MAs, some triage nurses, and it was the most incredibly vicious environment I have ever worked in. If you left one speculum in a bucket one night, or didn't stock enough K-Y jelly packets, or if your husband called and you talked more than 3 minutes, EVERYBODY knew. Nothing ever got said to anybody's face- just behind backs. It seemed like the goal here was to cause as much trouble for somebody else as possible, and I often wondered if I was the only one who found it human to be less than perfect or not know all the hidden rules on the first day. I took care of my patients and my doctor too carefully to notice the work habits of others. I found out from my MD that the leader of this wolf pack did not like her (my MD) and had made it her business to run off everyone who worked for her in the last 6 years. She also had a problem with anybody who was not an MA. This escalated to the point of stories being circulated that I called in narcotics for myself! When I took evidence to my supervisor (who had been aware of the petty tattling for months and allowed it to continue) and asked for help and a retraction, she typically did nothing.

So I think that when you run into situations like this you can usually find a spineless supervisor who is either too lazy to actually do her job or is too interested in being everybody's best girlfriend. Wendy is exactly right- there will always be small, miserable, and spiteful people who can't go to sleep at night unless they make everybody else as unhappy as they are. But I think that when a supervisor accepts the position as such, then they need to have the guts to do the hard jobs, too. Otherwise, we will all have to continue to work with people like this. Good managers don't tolerate this behavior. Every place I'd worked before, I'd been lucky enough to have great supervisors and great staff that pulled together and helped each other out. This place was a hellhole. On weekends before I had to go back, I would get migraines and [loose watery stools]. I have never had migraines before that job, and rarely have them now.

I've since started a new job with people who take pride in behaving professionally, and who, like me, are too busy doing their own jobs to pay such scrutiny to the performance of others. Even though I did not want to leave OB, I love this job, I work with great people, and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I did take a pay cut, but by that point, there were more important things than money.

So everybody out there who is dealing with this nightmare of loving what you do and taking pride in your job well done but hating to go to work, my prayers are with you. If you can find no other comfort, hold on to the sure knowledge that others might be able to sleep at night after purposely hurting other people, but you are a better person, and a better nurse, than that. (And stock up on Immodium)