Is hospital work like an abusive relationship?

[jimmy the P]

You know, where you'd like to get out but can't? Maybe you know the evil, or the money is better than you can get elsewhere, or you fear the unknown. The reason I ask is because I'd love to quit my job. LOVE TO! But now that I've been there 6 years, I don't think I can get the money I need to keep myself afloat. Also, I hate to have to prove myself again, don't like to do all those little poses to assert myself with the alpha nurses.

So at my current job, I get beat over the head almost daily. But I put up with it because I know it. Is that right? Am I sane? Or am I just lazy?

[llg, PhD, RN]

My opinion is that it can be like being in an abusive relationship -- but it doesn't have to be. It's up to you.

I was in a work situation once (many years ago) in which the hospital abused its staff. When I finally got out of it and looked back on it ... I could see clearly how the dynamics of that workplace mirrored everything I had heard about abuse and why people stay in abusive relationships. However, I couldn't see it when I was in the middle of it. I learned a lot from that experience -- not the least of which was to have more sympathy for people who stay in abusive relationships.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Not all employers are abusive ... and if you are unhappy in your current employer/employee relationship, you can leave. It may not be easy to leave a relationship in which you are comfortable ... you may have to scale back your spending ... etc. but you can do those things if you really want to.

But you have to want to make those changes -- and be willing to make a few sacrifices as you go through the process of changing your worklife.

[elkpark]

Only if you choose to think of it that way, IMO. If someone is in a particular job where s/he is being significantly mistreated, s/he should be looking for something else. However, I've had plenty of acute care hospital jobs where I felt I was respected and (reasonably) well-treated as an employee. There's a lot of variation out there.

[Jules A, MSN]

I think any relationship has the propensity to be abusive if you let it. I'm not saying it is easy to move on but sometimes it has to be done. If a person isn't willing to take the steps necessary to make changes there becomes a fine line between being a victim and a volunteer imo.

[nurse2033, MSN, RN]

Getting a new job can be great for you. Get stuck in a rut and you are going nowhere. I believe if you aren't moving forward, you're moving backward.

[leslie :-D]

So at my current job, I get beat over the head almost daily. But I put up with it because I know it.

who beats you over the head on a daily basis?

and you put up with it...why?

perhaps if you nipped this pesky, little obstacle out of your way, you'd actually be happier where you are.

leslie

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

I stay at a job I hate too. I feel like i can't get out effectively. What would I do and where would I go. There are very little nursing jobs available in this area. i relocated here from an area that has even less nursing jobs and I am sick of nursing already 6 months into it!

[Bella'sMyBaby]

No amount of money is worth working a job that makes you miserable.

Get out, before you lose your health & sanity.

[October97]

I have a love-hate relationship with my job. I am a peds nurse and enjoy taking care of children. For the most part my co-workers are great. There is generally good teamwork, but there is one crew of nurses that when you get them all together it is a long and frustrating day. I have switched to working only on weekends just to avoid that crew. It has helped, however now our management is getting bad and taking out their frustrations on us nurses. Again, working on the weekends generally helps me avoid all their crap. If I ever have to stop my weekends only schedule, I would probably have to make a job change.