Is hospital work like an abusive relationship?

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You know, where you'd like to get out but can't? Maybe you know the evil, or the money is better than you can get elsewhere, or you fear the unknown. The reason I ask is because I'd love to quit my job. LOVE TO! But now that I've been there 6 years, I don't think I can get the money I need to keep myself afloat. Also, I hate to have to prove myself again, don't like to do all those little poses to assert myself with the alpha nurses.

So at my current job, I get beat over the head almost daily. But I put up with it because I know it. Is that right? Am I sane? Or am I just lazy?

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No one has to know that you are interviewing...

You do not have to accept job offers either. I am continuously applying and interviewing at facilities, have even shadowed at a few. You never know what you will get, my current job pays about $5 an hour more than the previous and I do less work. I found it because I simply stumbled upon the facility.

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Specializes in Med-surg, ER, agency, rehab, oc health..

Money is good.... Sanity is better... Case in point, I was working at a agency and got stuck at a horrible facility. The facility paid $40 an hour, other facilities paid $27... Now would I rather work at the horrible facility for $60 an hour or the other place for $27? I'll go with the $27 thank you very much and keep my liscense and sanity. Try agency work on the side. You can get a feel for other facilities and the way they do things. If you like one they can negotiate a settlement with your agency to hire you. It works out well all around, they know your work ethic, they need to orientate you less, and the agency makes a little extra cash out of the deal. Check it out you might like it :)

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Money is good.... Sanity is better... Case in point, I was working at a agency and got stuck at a horrible facility. The facility paid $40 an hour, other facilities paid $27... Now would I rather work at the horrible facility for $60 an hour or the other place for $27? I'll go with the $27 thank you very much and keep my liscense and sanity. Try agency work on the side. You can get a feel for other facilities and the way they do things. If you like one they can negotiate a settlement with your agency to hire you. It works out well all around, they know your work ethic, they need to orientate you less, and the agency makes a little extra cash out of the deal. Check it out you might like it :)

This is gonna sound really stupid but i don't know exactly what people mean when they say agency work. What name do you look under when trying to contact them?

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Yes, Nursing is an abusive spouse relationship. I though I was the only one with that analogy. Been in this abusive relationship for 30 years. I keep trying to get out- it's all we know, nursing. That is where the problem lay. We need to at some point in the career- learn a new skill- accounting and have it on the side. I am working at getting away from this crap- I'm signed up to start taking free computer classes- excel, power point to get out.

I have sometimes liken nursing to legal prostitution or the mob- I'm told both of them are difficult to get out. either way- it's not a healthy profession!

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Specializes in Med-surg, ER, agency, rehab, oc health..
This is gonna sound really stupid but i don't know exactly what people mean when they say agency work. What name do you look under when trying to contact them?

Per Diem, Registry, Agency.... All the same, just different names. Look under nurse staffing agencies... or ask hospitals which agencies they use. Maxim, Temps, MSN are a few.

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Hello. I agree with the comment of the poster who said "money is good...sanity is better...". Some fellow nurses seem to feel that one of the priorities in nursing work is to go for the gusto by earning the highest salary they can find---sometimes the trade off for bigger bucks is super high stress and feeling married to the job. Others of us feel that one of the priorities in nursing work is "sanity"---sometimes the trade off for less stress and sanity is a lower paying nursing gig. You asked "is working in a hospital an abusive relationship?" My answer is no---to me, hospital work is a challenging choice which is sort of like choosing to serve in the military---not abuse, just choice for hard nursing jobs. You say that you "would love to quit" your current job. Hope you will consider giving yourself "permission" to change to a nursing position which will work better for you at this point. Best wishes.

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Yes, Nursing is an abusive spouse relationship. I though I was the only one with that analogy. Been in this abusive relationship for 30 years. I keep trying to get out- it's all we know, nursing. That is where the problem lay. We need to at some point in the career- learn a new skill- accounting and have it on the side. I am working at getting away from this crap- I'm signed up to start taking free computer classes- excel, power point to get out.

I have sometimes liken nursing to legal prostitution or the mob- I'm told both of them are difficult to get out. either way- it's not a healthy profession!

A little off topic.... excel and power point are good applications to learn, but I just wanted to point out that every tom, dick and harry under 30 yo knows these apps (by HS grad), so these apps alone won't get you a job.

I would also advise you to research the field you want to enter..... I always dissuade folks from entering into the IT field. As long as they can send your job overseas, you will never have a stable career. Accounting may be a good option though.

Funny thing....while you are wanting to leave nursing, I just retrained into nursing to get out of IT!

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Specializes in ICU & ED.

I just want to point out that bad work relationships happen in all fields... It's not just in nusing. I had a boss who was like an alcoholic parent... Never knew what I was walking into... Giddy, happy, manic? Angry, rage-filled? Lethargic and despondant? This could change hourly...

I think life is too short to devote your work life to miserable conditions and people. It's just too many hours of life being sucked out of you. Find another job! Search discretely, and persistantly and find work that doesn't drain you.

Having a job you like to go to is worth so much more than money!

Been there, done that!

Good luck!

PS Agency and Float Pool work both afford you a bit of distance from the drama that can occur on toxic units... It's a good idea! go for it!

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Am I sane? Or am I just lazy?

Self-examination is a difficult trip to take jimmy the P.

Overcoming inertia is a hard row to hoe, too. Quotes like, "The hardest thing to get is going" and "He who has begun has the job half done" are indications that you're not the only one with this feeling.

There's a condition called being Addicted to Unhappiness. You stay in an abusive relationship because it's comfortable- it's what you know. And we're all more comfortable with that which we know.

Are you sane? Probably.

Are you lazy? Let's just say you're just not quite motivated enough to change your situation.

You could always let go and let the Fates take you where they may. For it is said, "The Fates lead him who will. He who won't, they drag."

The best to you.

Dave

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I think sooo much depends on the dynamics of those you work with. I remember working in a facility that on a good day was a zoo...a bad day...MUCH worse. Had EXCELLENT management tho. Remember assistant managers bringing in fresh made muffins and juice so during report we would all eat at least breakfast because she knew that none of us would likely get lunch....The manager KNOWING the stress of the environment we were under, had an OPEN DOOR policy..meaning that if we needed to vent..to scream...cry..we could go to her, close her door...and do / say what we had to...then go back out and resume our jobs....nothing was ever mentioned about those times...was private. She understood tho....

I remember working nights and knowing HOW the night was going to go sooo much depended on those i was on with. If the right crew (4 were staffed) were on, we could handle ANY thing....worked soooo well together...and if a different group was on...was gonna be a LONG night...possibly a rough one too....lol

I really dont think it is all just about nursing....I think to some degree it is women. I am NOT being sexist...i just do not see the same dynamics with men that i do with women.

From a management perspective also, i see the same....have the right group of employees....positive attitudes..generally happy, satisfied people...even if the day is stressful, still will not leave hating your job.

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I say find a job you really like even if it means a pay cut...then take some advice from Dave Ramsey and make yourself a budget.

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