Is it ever okay to follow up with a patient you've cared for outside of work?

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Why or why not? I've heard compelling arguments on both sides.

Curious to hear personal stories.

I would say no, unless you knew the patient before you were their caregiver. But, typically, in those cases, I would think you would want to change assignments anyway...

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Specializes in vascular, med surg, home health , rehab,.

I have been approached several times by former patients at the store, etc to tell me thanks for my care. I have had a patient send me a friend request on Facebook, I declined, just too awkward. Only one time I met a patient outside of work; it was a 90 year old, sharp as a tack who insisted on buying me lunch after she went home. It meant a lot to her so we did, at the end hugged, wished each other well and that was that. In general I would say it is a bad idea for many reasons. That one time, I don't regret it, but I did worry about it beforehand. Social media has made this more than a little harder to navigate, I have colleagues who happily have former patients on FB. One married and went on to have 6 kids with a former patient. But I have to say its wise to have boundaries. Some patients we just don't forget and maybe they don't forget us either. Better to wish them well and let it go, than deal with a friendship that starts on unequal footing go bad and deal with that hot mess.

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Many years ago, I worked with a male nurse who started a relationship wit. h a pt. I'm assuming he had enough sense to wait until that pt. was discharged to refer to her as his SO. If memory serves me, it was more her doing, coming up to the hospital to see him after she was discharged (we worked 3-11 at the time). Pretty soon, they were living together. He was divorced, owned a small house, had grown kids close to her age. This "patient" also had at least one kid who was adolescent aged.

When this all started, several of us thought that if it was a female nurse carrying on with a male pt, management would have had a few things to say but as far as I know, they turned a deaf ear to it.

Next thing we knew, they were married & it didn't take long for the honeymoon to be over. He would tell us how she started burning through what money he had-important to mention had had some significant medical problems prior to all this, including a multiple vessel CABG so he was still paying off medical bills. He also complained about her housekeeping, leaving clothes in the dryer (I never saw why that was so awful). Then one day he came to work with this huge bruise on the side of his face where she supposedly threw an ashtray at him during an argument.

He ended up resigning a short time later. I don't know what ever happened to the marriage.

I'm sure this isn't the first & only pt/nurse relationship that ever was. Like many previous posters, I can think of a hundred reasons why this would not be a good idea. At the very least, if one just couldn't live without the other, it would probably be a very good idea to keep quiet about it. And as we all know, it's never a good idea to air dirty laundry at work.

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It is part of hospice to go to funerals or memorial services.

Not always. Depending on the situation and the patient or family dynamics we have been warned to stay away once the patient has died or been discharged.

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Specializes in PICU.

Just the other day, a family that I work with was taking pictures of their child and wanted my phone number to send me the picture to show me how far they have come. It was something really sweet of this family. This is something that happens a lot, families send me pictures as updates to my work email since I do not give out facebook or my personal email.

I almost gave my home number because I was just having a casual conversation, but I caught myself in time and said please email me.

I know many people who do give families their personal cells, but I still want that boundary, plus I wouldn't want phone calls in the middle of the night if there was an "emergency"

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Specializes in PCA, HHA.
My brother is a CNA on an Oncology floor and they very frequently care for people (and their families) for multiple weeks/months in the year and I've worked in Onc as well with similar experiences. I've never kept in touch with pts after care, but my brother developed a real fondness for one pt and the family even asked him to go to the funeral when the pt passed. He was so blessed by the relationship and didn't seek it out himself. It was all the work of the pt and the family, who'd appreciated all the care (my brother really is amazing) given over the 2 years of near constant admissions.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it if the pt has initiated it. If OB/NICU/PEDS pts and their families can do it, then why not other pt populations and their families?

I think for me to do it it would have to be a very special situations. The most I've done is little extra things for them while in hospital (like letting them call a family member on my cell phone when the room phones aren't working or dialing out), but that's all.

xo

I agree I work as in home health aide for a healthcare agency in my local area. I know that in the long run keeping as emotionaly distant from your patients is typically advisable. And for the most part I do adhere to this, but I will often call some of my regular paitents,typically just to check in with them to makes sure they are doing alright, such as if i went to a clients home and that client slept all day and did not eat a meal while I was there. I will call them at their home to make sure they are doing ok if they are not sick, did they eat all after I left. Thing that I can check back in with my advisor on if I really and truly need to. Or get one of our team RNs or CNAs to go out and check on the client and if they are doing ok. OR if this patient needs to start recving hopisce care.

With one of the girls that I am working with we both just find that we relate to each other fairly easily. And a lot of what I do at this job, a lot of times what our clients want is for us to sit and to talk to them cause they are lonely or depressed about things.

and finding common grounds that you can relate to these people on helps a lot, some of these clients just don't open up to the people at the company even the higher up healthcare advisors and they are not ending up at tha point getting the kind of care they really and truly need.

I try as best as I can to be caring but also professional with my work but sometimes. Especially depending on just what kind of medical job,and with particular clients. that is just simply is a very slippery tight rope to walk.

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Not always. Depending on the situation and the patient or family dynamics we have been warned to stay away once the patient has died or been discharged.

I didn't say we go to every funeral or memorial service.

We are available to go to funerals or memorial services and our chaplain is available to conduct the service. The chaplain and social worker also are available to help plan the funeral, if asked.

It is part of the hospice benefit.

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Specializes in Tele Step Down, Oncology, ICU, Med/Surg.

As a former oncology nurse who went to cardiac step down then ICU and now finding myself back in oncology in a different hospital--friendships happen and grow outside of the hospital. I--along with several of my old oncology coworkers--are Facebook friends with a young lady we took care of as a sickle cell/lupus patient since she was 16 and she is now 26. I no longer work at the Hospital she frequents and our bond had become that strong that we did not want to lose touch. She is my miracle patient as we've saved her from the brink several times over and in exchange she provides us with her magic and light. Her Facebook postings are transformative and every birthday she celebrates a cause for great joy. I feel like she is my nursing child and I treasure our friendship because her time in this world is likely short. I think these bonds are common for oncology/hematology nurses. Not so much in cardiac step down or ICU for that matter. Although I do know of a precept in ICU who became very close to a young lady who stayed with us for a long time due to a freak illness and subsequently they had a relationship once she was discharged and just heard they were married in Cancun. I think you need to tread carefully in these situations tho. I only became FB friends with my former patient once I changed hospitals. The now newly hired ICU RN waited 6 months before making contact with his former patient. She had sent us all a thank you letter with some treats along with her contact info and she was asking permission to post photos in her blog....most of the photos were of our handsome young student nurse so we all knew that letter was meant for him...and emailed her his permission and he told us he had wanted to call her right away, but he waited a bit to make sure he was hired and thru the probation period first (or at least that's what he tells everyone) before asking her out. Love is Love and can bloom anywhere.

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Specializes in ICU, Postpartum, Onc, PACU.

Oncology is one of those tough areas because we're with them for so long. Some peds pts can be rough too, especially if they basically live at the hospital with CF 6 months out of the year!

xo

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Yes. Once a patient had no ride home except for calling a taxi. Her husband weak, sick with cancer at home, daughter also sick, they sadly had no friends or relatives to ask. She lived one block away from me, I drove her home.

Another patient called out to me in a grocery store. Of course I talked with him.

Another patient asked for my address to keep in contact. Yes.

Never did I seek out a patient to keep in contact with. These situations were 15 yrs ago. Life goes on, I am not only a nurse, but also a caring human being.

The drive home-her CV Surgeon thanked me.

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

As other users have mentioned, I think there are a few special situations where I think it would be appropriate for a nurse to follow up with a patient following discharge outside of the context of their job but I think that generally to speak it isn't advisable and could lead to a very sticky situation ethically and legally. I have certainly had times where I wondered what happened to my patients after they were discharged but there is a major leap between wondering and actively seeking out information or trying to initiate contact with them.

I must say that I really like the idea that TiffyRN mentioned about having an employee-sanctioned Facebook page for the families of pediatric patients in order to post pictures/updates that staff could see and gain some solace that these patients are improving or doing well after being discharged.

!Chris :specs:

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Specializes in Private Duty Pediatrics.
It's also important for people coping with hard situations to have the people who helped them stay in their "boxes" I think. I don't think it's helpful to a former client (or, in this case, patient) to be approached by someone who had a confidential relationship with them. Just by coming up to them, you could really violate their privacy - perhaps the people they're with don't know about their stay in the hospital or their need to hire an attorney, and you talking to them puts them in a position where they need to explain themselves (or lie). Best to keep the relationship very strictly professional :)

Excellent point.

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