Interpersonal Conflicts we all have

TakeTwoAspirin, MSN, RN, APRN · May 22, 2009

I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you are talking about when you say she took a "turn" at you. What is it that you are considering reporting her for?

Whispera, MSN, RN · May 22, 2009

It's hard to respond. I also don't really know what you're talking about. Can you be more specific?

soulofme · May 22, 2009

When's your paper due? :smokin:

morte, LPN, LVN · May 22, 2009

i think i get the post, i would guess OP is either a Brit or Aussie......when you are being picked on, you need to set her/him straight that this is not going to "fly" with you......and keep the super in the loop at the same time; try your best to not let her/him rattle you into making mistakes.....and there by building that rep. an occ dose of their own medicine will be tempting, but be careful they can oft be the "run to the sup" type themselves.....good luck

ICAN! · May 22, 2009

I would not put up with that. If I were in your shoes I would ask the nurse if she would speak with me in private and ask her what the problem is and how can it be worked out.

Poison_IV · May 22, 2009

I'm not planning on handing one in.

Poison_IV · May 22, 2009

When's your paper due?

No paper, but I'll give it to you orally if you like...

2BSure · May 22, 2009

I have changed my opinion on handling this sort of thing lately. Primarily because my method wasn't working from me and I was not doing myself any great service. What I was doing was "not letting people get away with their crap". I would either give as good as I got or I would attempt to get others who worked with me on my side. All this did was have me be a willing participant of the nasty, overt and passive aggressive behaviour that I so hate.

Reporting someone is an option and if we worked in a perfect system she would get her %&$ handed to her. The fact is, if she has a rep for this then, the culture of your work has been supporting her in this behaviour for a while.

I would deal with it immediately with the offender. Something like "you know when you do/say XYZ to me it really isn't OK". Don't be aggressive or unpleasant. Then walk away and let it be her problem.

Frankly, if your supervisor was there and witnessed it THEY should report it.

Be better than those who do this stuff and good luck.

Lacie, BSN, RN · May 22, 2009

Lol, unless as in my case the guilty party was my administrator!! Yesterday very professionally and respectfully responded to a one of the "point the finger deals" (you getting blamed for someone elses actions). My secretary inadvertantedly sent 30 very incomplete re-assessments to the Dr. which have been sitting in an empty room since October last year and were going to be disposed of lol. He completed them all!!!! Boy did the secretary drop the bomb and this one then denied doing it. I have never taken files to him and I got the blame from my boss who is the one who put them in the conference area in the first place herself. (By the way I'm a DON). I asked her why she didnt call me at home to inform me of the situation before pointing blame and her response was "Because I'm the Boss and I can do or say what ever I want when I want". I subtly walked behind her as she was in my office on my computer, reached into my bag and pulled out the already prepared resignation :) Boy did I get the reverse attitude today although a little too late. Sometimes you have to know when to pick your battles and how but always keep it on a professional level. It was hard but I wasnt about to allow myself to drop to that level to disrespect her as she disrespected me. I think my 30 day notice got the point across for the moment, at least in 30 days I no longer have to witness the "power trip".

anoro · May 23, 2009

I think I understand your situation, the previous posts clarified things. It sounds like the age old nursing BS of bullying each other. Unfortunately we live with this dysfunction all the time. Congratulations for both seeing the absurdity of it and asking for support to stop the petty BS!

There's lots of literature out there, even a recent article posted in AllNurses, on bullying in Nursing. The basics of several articles I've reviewed are that you must call it what it is for you. If it's offensive to you, let the perp. know, their behavior is difficult and you want it stopped. Often it's the sniping under-handed passive aggressive stuff, then ask " Is there a problem?" "Is there something you can't say directly to me? " I've recently )again) found these subtle comments, posed as a question helpful in gently letting a bullying Charge RN know that I will not let her nastiness be directed at me. So far, I'm getting less of her negativity.

Difficult as it is, it's your job to set limits on others & TELL them you expect the behavior to stop. DOCUMENT every instance including how you responded. If a clear message has been given and the offender hasn't, won't or maybe can't, change, then you have a pattern of behavior to report. You will have clear objective notes of your own. Nobody else needs to read them unless you wish to disclose this. Even if the bullying doesn't stop, you will have the peace of mind knowing you acted in self-respect. Best wishes in pursuing a healthier work environment.

Please keep us posted on your progress.