Internet Porn at work-need advice

[RN34TX]

I really debated posting this (it gets a little raunchy for those who get offended easily) but I really need advice from other colleagues and can't discuss it at work with others.

A colleague has been rumored to have been viewing Media at work. I believe that she has been written up or disciplined for it in some way but that's just the rumor mill, nothing substantiated for sure.

I really enjoy working with her and we get along well. She has been nothing but helpful and has taught me plenty when I was new.

She has told several co-workers that she is involved in a "swinging" type lifestyle with her husband. She has never mentioned this to me but is apparantly quite open about it to some.

I have been very quick to remind my co-workers that what she does in her private life is none of our business (even though she's made it some people's business) and to leave her "swinging" lifestyle alone unless you plan to participate in it yourself, in which case it would be your business.

A few days ago, I was logging in to my e-mail at work before my shift, and her e-mail popped up (same ISP) as she must have forgotten to log out.

I saw graphic Mediao pics and quickly logged her off in fear that someone might see it. I figured that she had enough trouble and there were enough rumors to go around the unit, and I didn't need to add to it, so I never mentioned the incident to anyone at work other than my partner and one friend who, like me, disapproved of our colleagues snickering about her lifestyle..

But a few days later.....A trusted colleague and friend has also confirmed that the rumor is true and she worked with her during a slow night and witnessed her watching Media and chatting sexually to people online. (No patients were there or could see this stuff so that's not a factor.)

Why was she telling me about it when I didn't want any part of the rumors?

Because she then presented me with a calender that this co-worker left behind at work that I'm sure she didn't want any of us to see.

She has been logging all of our behavior at work that she deemed "inappropriate."

From reading the notes in the calender, I'm assuming that she's preparing for a lawsuit because she's anticipating getting fired for her internet activities at work, but that's just my interpretation of it.

She listed nurses by name watching DVD's during break or slow periods that contained foul language or other "inappropriate" for work material. She noted any off-color or foul comments or jokes by staff and listed dates and times.

Here's what disturbed me........

In the calender, she lists a date and time and noted me for "looking at pictures of naked kids online." -----What????

I couldn't believe it. I realize that she's trying to take the attention off herself, and as the only gay man on the unit, I'm a walking target for being labeled as a child Mediao freak/molester or whatever, so I just dismissed it as that and left it alone.

There are 4 of us who know about this calender and took it off the unit.

We have all sworn to secrecy about the calender until we decide what to do from here.

I made the mistake of telling my colleagues about my witnessing of her internet Media mail and now they are pressuring me to tell the manager what I saw online.

I only disclosed to them what I saw in her e-mail because I was upset and hurt about what she wrote about me looking at child Mediao online. I really liked working with her and I do not want to be one of those nurses who act in a retaliatory way and slander her because I myself do not know all of the facts.

I realize that she shouldn't be looking at Media or sexually chatting with people online at work, but what is my role here as a nurse and colleague?

I don't want to be part of this witch-hunt, so I'm reluctant to tell the manager what I saw.

In addition, although I know that it's just paranoia on my part and is complete B.S. on her part trying to take the attention off herself, I can't help but wonder if her comments about me looking at child Media online is going to hurt me later at some point, substantiated or not.

My colleagues who know about this are seriously pressuring me to tell the manager about what I saw, but my idea is to confront her privately about the calender and her comments written on it about us, as well as to tell her to stop looking at Media at work because we all know and are on to her.

I really don't know what to do about this. Advice?

[leslie :-D]

i wouldn't think twice about reporting this.

i don't want to be known to work on the same unit as naughty nurse who loves kiddie Media.

leslie

[Kim O'Therapy, BSN, RN]

You're right. Something like that, true or not, could really hurt me both personally as well as professionally.

So why am I defending her??

I don't know, other than the fact that I really liked working with her, and that I didn't want to become another back-stabbing nurse trying to ruin someone's career and life.

There are enough of them out there without me adding to it.

You are not back-stabbing anybody. She has created a "hostile work environment" and it needs to be stopped. The tail doesn't wag the dog. If one person has everyone else on edge, then something needs to be done. Although you heart is in the right place, I don't believe this is the type of situation that warrants you labeling yourself as a bad guy/coworker.

[bigmona]

are you sure that calendar was hers? not to say that i doubt you at all, just wondering if it is a possibility that someone else could have conjured that up who perhaps disapproved of her lifestyle. like another poster said, if you do report it, perhaps leave the bit about the calendar out and just state what you have seen with your own eyes.

[Indy, LPN, LVN]

What's bugging me about this whole thing is that ... well... it's a lot of hearsay.

One other nurse, not the one whom is actually supposedly a swinger/Media surfer, said she saw this nurse looking at Media and chatting online. Ok. I'm not sure but it sounds like the selfsame other nurse also produced this calendar thing and said it belonged to the nurse whom supposedly looks at Media, etc. And unless you have to log onto windows or the internet browser in order to even use the internet, and it sounds like you don't, there is no way to know which nurse might have access to whose email by "shoulder surfing" (looking over a shoulder and figuring out a password by seeing someone typing it in) and so you really don't know if this nurse is being set up or what. So it's hard to even prove that the alleged swinger nurse is who even left her email up and running.

I mean, hello. Yahoo has a spam filter but I've had my yahoo mail account for almost ten years and the spam filter is FULL. I delete 20 or so spams a day if it's slow. And I don't even look in the junk folder, but the few times I've had to comb through it looking for a lost email item, oh my gosh, there's Media all through it. Following me?

I wonder if the nurse who's alleged to be a swinger is actually dumb enough to a) log onto her email and leave Media up for any ole somebody to stumble onto, b) put all that info onto a calendar and then leave it at work, c) sit in front of another coworker and surf Media sites and chat up people online.

There is the distinct possibility of a witch hunt going on here, and yes, appearances can be deceiving. I'm not there so I dunno. These things just stand out in my mind.

[Mags4711, RN]

Maybe its because my own kids are so young, I fear for them every time I hear about these child rapists and child Mediaographers being busted (which seems to be very often nowadays). Makes me sick to my stomach to know that freaks like this woman are still out there enjoying the sexual abuse of other people's kids. She should be in prison. I wouldn't just report her to the manager, I would also call the police. Shouldn't matter at all what other people think if you report her and she gets fired. She deserves to be fired.

Whoa! TX didn't say this nurse was looking at child Media! He said he believed the offending nurse was going to accuse him (TX) of having/looking at child Media.

[SmilingBluEyes]

Why on EARTH dont' they use pass-word protected WINDOWS and spam/Media blockers there?????

No place of business should operate internet PCs in the workplace without these! It's just plain crazy.

I would take ALL of this to your manager and IS department and let them work it, and do it SOON.

[RN34TX]

Why on EARTH dont' they use pass-word protected WINDOWS and spam/Media blockers there?????

No place of business should operate internet PCs in the workplace without these! It's just plain crazy.

I would take ALL of this to your manager and IS department and let them work it, and do it SOON.

Thank you.

I too, thought that they'd have one of those programs like people have at home to block their kids from accessing x-rated sites, but apparantly not.

The IS department knows about her because she's been reported before and they've made attempts to limit her access.

I guess I didn't make that part clear in my OP.

[RN34TX]

I don't get it.

Why are you the one who has been elected to go to the NM?

What about.........

What about this person?

Why are they not going to the NM?

I'm sorry for not being more clear about this part of it.

That nurse that you are referring to has already gone to the NM months ago and reported what she witnessed when working with her in another incident.

Now she wants me to report what I've seen as well.

She has been reported and disciplined for this before and the IT department has been notified of her doings previously. They placed programs on the computers to block specific sites that she's visited but she either goes to new sites or somehow, some way gets around it.

The other nurse who reported her also told me that she spent the better part of the night trying to decode or somehow get around the IT's blocking software to gain access to one of her favorite sites.

Another clarification here for others who have posted:

No child Media was involved here. She has only been seen looking at adult Media and chatrooms. She has documented in her calender that I was looking at "pictures of naked kids" online.

I'm just not getting why this woman would even dare to tempt fate by continuing to look at these sites when she's already been busted before.

I mean, IT placed software on the computers specifically because of places she's previously visited and she keeps trying to fight it to gain access.

[RN34TX]

What's bugging me about this whole thing is that ... well... it's a lot of hearsay.

One other nurse, not the one whom is actually supposedly a swinger/Media surfer, said she saw this nurse looking at Media and chatting online. Ok. I'm not sure but it sounds like the selfsame other nurse also produced this calendar thing and said it belonged to the nurse whom supposedly looks at Media, etc. And unless you have to log onto windows or the internet browser in order to even use the internet, and it sounds like you don't, there is no way to know which nurse might have access to whose email by "shoulder surfing" (looking over a shoulder and figuring out a password by seeing someone typing it in) and so you really don't know if this nurse is being set up or what. So it's hard to even prove that the alleged swinger nurse is who even left her email up and running.

I mean, hello. Yahoo has a spam filter but I've had my yahoo mail account for almost ten years and the spam filter is FULL. I delete 20 or so spams a day if it's slow. And I don't even look in the junk folder, but the few times I've had to comb through it looking for a lost email item, oh my gosh, there's Media all through it. Following me?

I wonder if the nurse who's alleged to be a swinger is actually dumb enough to a) log onto her email and leave Media up for any ole somebody to stumble onto, b) put all that info onto a calendar and then leave it at work, c) sit in front of another coworker and surf Media sites and chat up people online.

There is the distinct possibility of a witch hunt going on here, and yes, appearances can be deceiving. I'm not there so I dunno. These things just stand out in my mind.

Very good points! A lot of what you are saying is part of my hesitancy to report her. What if she is getting set up because someone doesn't approve of her lifestyle?

What if someone saw her password, logged her in and waited for me to sit down and see her Media on the screen to set her up?

What if someone wanted me to see that so that I'd become another person reporting her?

I don't know, that may be a stretch because I just don't see my co-workers as the type to set people up for trouble.

But then again, I didn't see this woman as the type to say that I look at child Media but she did!

There has never been any bad blood between us so I don't get why she would say that about me.

I know that she's trying to get the attention off herself and point out how bad the rest of us are, but why me, and why say that I look at child Media when we've always gotten along so well?

And you're right. Why would someone, particularly someone who's been busted before, leave her e-mail carelessly open to offensive material?

Why be that daring and stupid?

[Indy, LPN, LVN]

Well, I'm not saying people can't be that stupid, but it's rather interesting that you haven't seen her actually access the naughty stuff herself. If you do speak to your nurse manager I would make this very, very clear.

[RN34TX]

Well, I'm not saying people can't be that stupid, but it's rather interesting that you haven't seen her actually access the naughty stuff herself. If you do speak to your nurse manager I would make this very, very clear.

Absolutely. Her e-mail account was still open when I sat at the computer and she had clocked out for the day and was nowhere near the computer at that time. I would make that very clear. I've never seen her access it myself during any shift that I've worked with her.

But that still doesn't address her writing that I'm into child internet Media.

I racked my brain last night over and over wondering why she would say something like that about me.

My co-workers suspect that she thinks that I'm the one who reported her the first time and now she's retaliating. But I never reported her before because I never saw anything until now.

At the time that it happened, I just logged her out and let it go. I figured that it wasn't enough to report someone for, because like you said, I didn't actually see her at the computer looking at it.

But her comments about me have completely changed the situation and she has now put my job, career, license, and reputation on the line.

She can risk her own life/livelihood and that's on her, but it's not right that I basically got dragged into it involuntarily when I've done nothing but defend her from the beginning.

I have to do something because you can't just go around saying potentially damaging things like that about people because you're upset over getting caught doing bad things at work.

[SFCardiacRN]

I would confront her. I would tell her there is a rumor that she is spreading child Media lies. See what she says.