Internet Porn at work-need advice

[RN34TX]

I really debated posting this (it gets a little raunchy for those who get offended easily) but I really need advice from other colleagues and can't discuss it at work with others.

A colleague has been rumored to have been viewing Media at work. I believe that she has been written up or disciplined for it in some way but that's just the rumor mill, nothing substantiated for sure.

I really enjoy working with her and we get along well. She has been nothing but helpful and has taught me plenty when I was new.

She has told several co-workers that she is involved in a "swinging" type lifestyle with her husband. She has never mentioned this to me but is apparantly quite open about it to some.

I have been very quick to remind my co-workers that what she does in her private life is none of our business (even though she's made it some people's business) and to leave her "swinging" lifestyle alone unless you plan to participate in it yourself, in which case it would be your business.

A few days ago, I was logging in to my e-mail at work before my shift, and her e-mail popped up (same ISP) as she must have forgotten to log out.

I saw graphic Mediao pics and quickly logged her off in fear that someone might see it. I figured that she had enough trouble and there were enough rumors to go around the unit, and I didn't need to add to it, so I never mentioned the incident to anyone at work other than my partner and one friend who, like me, disapproved of our colleagues snickering about her lifestyle..

But a few days later.....A trusted colleague and friend has also confirmed that the rumor is true and she worked with her during a slow night and witnessed her watching Media and chatting sexually to people online. (No patients were there or could see this stuff so that's not a factor.)

Why was she telling me about it when I didn't want any part of the rumors?

Because she then presented me with a calender that this co-worker left behind at work that I'm sure she didn't want any of us to see.

She has been logging all of our behavior at work that she deemed "inappropriate."

From reading the notes in the calender, I'm assuming that she's preparing for a lawsuit because she's anticipating getting fired for her internet activities at work, but that's just my interpretation of it.

She listed nurses by name watching DVD's during break or slow periods that contained foul language or other "inappropriate" for work material. She noted any off-color or foul comments or jokes by staff and listed dates and times.

Here's what disturbed me........

In the calender, she lists a date and time and noted me for "looking at pictures of naked kids online." -----What????

I couldn't believe it. I realize that she's trying to take the attention off herself, and as the only gay man on the unit, I'm a walking target for being labeled as a child Mediao freak/molester or whatever, so I just dismissed it as that and left it alone.

There are 4 of us who know about this calender and took it off the unit.

We have all sworn to secrecy about the calender until we decide what to do from here.

I made the mistake of telling my colleagues about my witnessing of her internet Media mail and now they are pressuring me to tell the manager what I saw online.

I only disclosed to them what I saw in her e-mail because I was upset and hurt about what she wrote about me looking at child Mediao online. I really liked working with her and I do not want to be one of those nurses who act in a retaliatory way and slander her because I myself do not know all of the facts.

I realize that she shouldn't be looking at Media or sexually chatting with people online at work, but what is my role here as a nurse and colleague?

I don't want to be part of this witch-hunt, so I'm reluctant to tell the manager what I saw.

In addition, although I know that it's just paranoia on my part and is complete B.S. on her part trying to take the attention off herself, I can't help but wonder if her comments about me looking at child Media online is going to hurt me later at some point, substantiated or not.

My colleagues who know about this are seriously pressuring me to tell the manager about what I saw, but my idea is to confront her privately about the calender and her comments written on it about us, as well as to tell her to stop looking at Media at work because we all know and are on to her.

I really don't know what to do about this. Advice?

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

You don't know for sure whether or not she'd use the B.S. against you, though.

How is your relationship with the manager? Are they easy to approach and talk to?

[nursejohio, ASN, RN]

Oh wow. It must be horrible to be in your situation. Hindsight is 20/20, the best probably would have been to leave the email up and get your resource nurse. As it stands now, it's your word against hers on what she was looking at. The calendar is tricky too. Is it identified as hers? I don't know the implications of having a coworkers property, but that may just be more ammunition for her to use. I wouldn't get too worked up about what's in it, unless you think she may be able to rustle up some "witnessess" to the activities she's tracking. Best thing I can think of is to go to the resource. Good luck

[RN34TX]

You don't know for sure whether or not she'd use the B.S. against you, though.

How is your relationship with the manager? Are they easy to approach and talk to?

You're right, I don't know, and I'm assuming that she hasn't as of yet.

My manager is easy to approach and cool, but I don't want to be any part of someone getting fired.

The colleague who reported her was told that she (manager) would not tolerate this in any way shape or form and better not get any more reports about this.

What if my reporting is the last straw and she gets fired?

I'm sure that she left her e-mail up by mistake, so why should she get fired for this? It's none of my business, I just happened to see it when attempting to log on.

As far as the B.S. goes, the FBI could take my hard drive at home, follow me around for months or whatever, and never see anything illegal involving children so I'm not worried about that. It's obvious that she's desparate to take the attention off herself.

[DidiRN]

Wow, what a tough situation...

My two cents worth would be to tell the manager, even the part about her "calendar". But like someone else asked, depends on your manager and how your relationship with he/she is. I also wondered about contacting the IT department...maybe they can track what she is doing and prove it is her. It crossed my mind to maybe send a anonymous email to them, but I'm not sure that is the right thing to do. I'm not real computer saavy to that extent, so not sure if that is possible.

One place I worked at had this problem (ie certain people viewing Media online at work), they ended up requiring you to log on if you decide to go onto the Internet. Bummed some people out who liked to play games, but it sure put a stop to the Media issue.

Good luck to ya, what a awful situation to be put in

I really debated posting this (it gets a little raunchy for those who get offended easily) but I really need advice from other colleagues and can't discuss it at work with others.

A colleague has been rumored to have been viewing Media at work. I believe that she has been written up or disciplined for it in some way but that's just the rumor mill, nothing substantiated for sure.

I really enjoy working with her and we get along well. She has been nothing but helpful and has taught me plenty when I was new.

She has told several co-workers that she is involved in a "swinging" type lifestyle with her husband. She has never mentioned this to me but is apparantly quite open about it to some.

I have been very quick to remind my co-workers that what she does in her private life is none of our business (even though she's made it some people's business) and to leave her "swinging" lifestyle alone unless you plan to participate in it yourself, in which case it would be your business.

A few days ago, I was logging in to my e-mail at work before my shift, and her e-mail popped up (same ISP) as she must have forgotten to log out.

I saw graphic Mediao pics and quickly logged her off in fear that someone might see it. I figured that she had enough trouble and there were enough rumors to go around the unit, and I didn't need to add to it, so I never mentioned the incident to anyone at work other than my partner and one friend who, like me, disapproved of our colleagues snickering about her lifestyle..

But a few days later.....A trusted colleague and friend has also confirmed that the rumor is true and she worked with her during a slow night and witnessed her watching Media and chatting sexually to people online. (No patients were there or could see this stuff so that's not a factor.)

Why was she telling me about it when I didn't want any part of the rumors?

Because she then presented me with a calender that this co-worker left behind at work that I'm sure she didn't want any of us to see.

She has been logging all of our behavior at work that she deemed "inappropriate."

From reading the notes in the calender, I'm assuming that she's preparing for a lawsuit because she's anticipating getting fired for her internet activities at work, but that's just my interpretation of it.

She listed nurses by name watching DVD's during break or slow periods that contained foul language or other "inappropriate" for work material. She noted any off-color or foul comments or jokes by staff and listed dates and times.

Here's what disturbed me........

In the calender, she lists a date and time and noted me for "looking at pictures of naked kids online." -----What????

I couldn't believe it. I realize that she's trying to take the attention off herself, and as the only gay man on the unit, I'm a walking target for being labeled as a child Mediao freak/molester or whatever, so I just dismissed it as that and left it alone.

There are 4 of us who know about this calender and took it off the unit.

We have all sworn to secrecy about the calender until we decide what to do from here.

I made the mistake of telling my colleagues about my witnessing of her internet Media mail and now they are pressuring me to tell the manager what I saw online.

I only disclosed to them what I saw in her e-mail because I was upset and hurt about what she wrote about me looking at child Mediao online. I really liked working with her and I do not want to be one of those nurses who act in a retaliatory way and slander her because I myself do not know all of the facts.

I realize that she shouldn't be looking at Media or sexually chatting with people online at work, but what is my role here as a nurse and colleague?

I don't want to be part of this witch-hunt, so I'm reluctant to tell the manager what I saw.

In addition, although I know that it's just paranoia on my part and is complete B.S. on her part trying to take the attention off herself, I can't help but wonder if her comments about me looking at child Media online is going to hurt me later at some point, substantiated or not.

My colleagues who know about this are seriously pressuring me to tell the manager about what I saw, but my idea is to confront her privately about the calender and her comments written on it about us, as well as to tell her to stop looking at Media at work because we all know and are on to her.

I really don't know what to do about this. Advice?

[DidiRN]

If she is devious enough to be making up stuff about her coworkers, especially something as horrible as making up something as awful as you viewing child Media, God only knows what else this girl is doing. I think she deserves to be terminated.

The colleague who reported her was told that she (manager) would not tolerate this in any way shape or form and better not get any more reports about this.

What if my reporting is the last straw and she gets fired?

I'm sure that she left her e-mail up by mistake, so why should she get fired for this? It's none of my business, I just happened to see it when attempting to log on.

.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

My manager is easy to approach and cool, but I don't want to be any part of someone getting fired.

The colleague who reported her was told that she (manager) would not tolerate this in any way shape or form and better not get any more reports about this.

What if my reporting is the last straw and she gets fired?

I'm sure that she left her e-mail up by mistake, so why should she get fired for this? It's none of my business, I just happened to see it when attempting to log on.

Well, if it is the last straw, and she gets fired, then that's just too bad. I mean i know i sound harsh, BUT there are rules against this stuff, and she's doing that at work, so she's just doing it to herself.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

If she is devious enough to be making up stuff about her coworkers, especially something as horrible as making up something as awful as you viewing child Media, God only knows what else this girl is doing. I think she deserves to be terminated.

:yeahthat:

[RN34TX]

If she is devious enough to be making up stuff about her coworkers, especially something as horrible as making up something as awful as you viewing child Media, God only knows what else this girl is doing. I think she deserves to be terminated.

You're right. Something like that, true or not, could really hurt me both personally as well as professionally.

So why am I defending her??

I don't know, other than the fact that I really liked working with her, and that I didn't want to become another back-stabbing nurse trying to ruin someone's career and life.

There are enough of them out there without me adding to it.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I don't know, other than the fact that I really liked working with her, and that I didn't want to become another back-stabbing nurse trying to ruin someone's career and life.

There are enough of them out there without me adding to it.

Yeah, but, she's doing it to herself. I mean, most facilities have tracking on their systems, and it's pretty stupid for someone to do with at work.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

Yeah, but, she's doing it to herself. I mean, most facilities have tracking on their systems, and it's pretty stupid for someone to do with at work.

Our hospital tracks where we go too . .. . she should have been fired a long time ago.

This all needs to stop and quickly.

steph

[marcrn]

Oh wow. It must be horrible to be in your situation. Hindsight is 20/20, the best probably would have been to leave the email up and get your resource nurse. As it stands now, it's your word against hers on what she was looking at. The calendar is tricky too. Is it identified as hers? I don't know the implications of having a coworkers property, but that may just be more ammunition for her to use. I wouldn't get too worked up about what's in it, unless you think she may be able to rustle up some "witnessess" to the activities she's tracking. Best thing I can think of is to go to the resource. Good luck

Hello,

Just a point of info. Nothing on computers is truly "deleted". The company IS guru's can trace her internet / emai / chat activites as wellas anyone else's. My advise to the follow the facilies sexual harrasment policies and report her. If she pursues with the kiddie Media allegations, call a lawyer.