Internet Porn at work-need advice

[RN34TX]

I really debated posting this (it gets a little raunchy for those who get offended easily) but I really need advice from other colleagues and can't discuss it at work with others.

A colleague has been rumored to have been viewing Media at work. I believe that she has been written up or disciplined for it in some way but that's just the rumor mill, nothing substantiated for sure.

I really enjoy working with her and we get along well. She has been nothing but helpful and has taught me plenty when I was new.

She has told several co-workers that she is involved in a "swinging" type lifestyle with her husband. She has never mentioned this to me but is apparantly quite open about it to some.

I have been very quick to remind my co-workers that what she does in her private life is none of our business (even though she's made it some people's business) and to leave her "swinging" lifestyle alone unless you plan to participate in it yourself, in which case it would be your business.

A few days ago, I was logging in to my e-mail at work before my shift, and her e-mail popped up (same ISP) as she must have forgotten to log out.

I saw graphic Mediao pics and quickly logged her off in fear that someone might see it. I figured that she had enough trouble and there were enough rumors to go around the unit, and I didn't need to add to it, so I never mentioned the incident to anyone at work other than my partner and one friend who, like me, disapproved of our colleagues snickering about her lifestyle..

But a few days later.....A trusted colleague and friend has also confirmed that the rumor is true and she worked with her during a slow night and witnessed her watching Media and chatting sexually to people online. (No patients were there or could see this stuff so that's not a factor.)

Why was she telling me about it when I didn't want any part of the rumors?

Because she then presented me with a calender that this co-worker left behind at work that I'm sure she didn't want any of us to see.

She has been logging all of our behavior at work that she deemed "inappropriate."

From reading the notes in the calender, I'm assuming that she's preparing for a lawsuit because she's anticipating getting fired for her internet activities at work, but that's just my interpretation of it.

She listed nurses by name watching DVD's during break or slow periods that contained foul language or other "inappropriate" for work material. She noted any off-color or foul comments or jokes by staff and listed dates and times.

Here's what disturbed me........

In the calender, she lists a date and time and noted me for "looking at pictures of naked kids online." -----What????

I couldn't believe it. I realize that she's trying to take the attention off herself, and as the only gay man on the unit, I'm a walking target for being labeled as a child Mediao freak/molester or whatever, so I just dismissed it as that and left it alone.

There are 4 of us who know about this calender and took it off the unit.

We have all sworn to secrecy about the calender until we decide what to do from here.

I made the mistake of telling my colleagues about my witnessing of her internet Media mail and now they are pressuring me to tell the manager what I saw online.

I only disclosed to them what I saw in her e-mail because I was upset and hurt about what she wrote about me looking at child Mediao online. I really liked working with her and I do not want to be one of those nurses who act in a retaliatory way and slander her because I myself do not know all of the facts.

I realize that she shouldn't be looking at Media or sexually chatting with people online at work, but what is my role here as a nurse and colleague?

I don't want to be part of this witch-hunt, so I'm reluctant to tell the manager what I saw.

In addition, although I know that it's just paranoia on my part and is complete B.S. on her part trying to take the attention off herself, I can't help but wonder if her comments about me looking at child Media online is going to hurt me later at some point, substantiated or not.

My colleagues who know about this are seriously pressuring me to tell the manager about what I saw, but my idea is to confront her privately about the calender and her comments written on it about us, as well as to tell her to stop looking at Media at work because we all know and are on to her.

I really don't know what to do about this. Advice?

[mandana]

I can't beleive I can say this honestly, but I can. I have been in almost the exact situation. Different industry, and the offender WAS our computer guru and I did get the offender fired.

I felt awful about it, I really did, because this person and I were friendly, but it became obsessive and obscene and I am NOT easily offended. In general, I favor a live-and-let-live attitude. BUT, when someone will go so far as to make up such a malicious, vicious thing about another as she did you, there is no telling how far this will go and how badly she will work to drag you down with her WHEN the fit hits the shan. Not IF mind you, because it will happen.

My coworker went to extreme lenghts to try to bring me into his twisted little world. Luckily, I was squeaky clean so ultimately he was unable to. BUT, I can honestly say that the lies he told my boss did stick in his head - he couldn't prove it, but my relationship with my boss changed drastically and I could just tell that he believed bits of it.

The issue isn't her using the internet, the issue is her using it inappropriately! This shouldn't have a trickle down effect (although in all honesty it probably will and we both know that) but you simply must be proactive. Your reputation is on the line, and don't rely on "she won't use the information unless she feels she has to" because if she's willing to make it up, put it in writing on a calendar and save it for a rainy day, she will attack first.

I'm very sorry you're in this situation, it's pretty scary, actually. You must take action and you can't feel guilty for her getting fired. You aren't in charge of her actions, she is.

Best to you,

Amanda

[TazziRN, RN]

I have not read the other replies so I don't know if this has been asked, but where is your IT department? They should be monitoring everyone's internet usage. They can tell who goes where, and when and for how long. If she's been doing this for a while then IT isn't doing their job. And if you get turned in IT could prove that all you did was close the screen when you saw what you did.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I have not read the other replies so I don't know if this has been asked, but where is your IT department? They should be monitoring everyone's internet usage. They can tell who goes where, and when and for how long. If she's been doing this for a while then IT isn't doing their job. And if you get turned in IT could prove that all you did was close the screen when you saw what you did.

There are several posts that have asked this.

[firstaiddave907]

what about the computer usege contract that peopple have to singh before getting a computer password? and dont they check employees online usege? i totlay agree with you ZASHAGALKA.and it sounds like if this persion has a date on the clander saying to look at child Media then she needs help. i think they should have computer software in the work place to block inapporate websites .

[Sable's mom]

I think 1 other person said this but . . as a manager, I can't deal with issues if I don't know they are happening and I can't be there 24/7.

This issue is one that won't go away. Sooner or later she will be caught and fired, and it seems to me that she doesn't plan to go quietly or alone. As others have said your reputation can be affected forever for an "investigation". I know this doesn't follow the innocent until proven guilty idea, but it is true. I've seen parents in trouble with custody issues, etc because someone had accused them of something years ago. Even though the charges were never proved and the custody eventually came out ok, it was a lot of time, stress and money spent in the meantime.

Last of all, you are not getting her fired - SHE IS.

[steelcityrn, RN]

Sounds like a real soap opera there, and Im sure this story is all over the place there and even already at the mng's doorstep. My advice is to lay low, things have to be done the old hospital way.

[clee1]

The best defense is a staggering offense.

You'd best get her before she gets you.

[yellowlablover]

Quite frankly, I am surprised you are spending so many personal BTU's worrying about someone who would be involved with this type of activity AT WORK. Why you think you would be responsible for her dismissal, when SHE was the one logging onto Mediaographic web sites is beyond me. I understand about not wanting to be a 'rat fink' but YOU have the info and are in the best place to advise your manager. The nurse certainly can't claim she didn't know it was inproper to view Media at work.

I am with the others, ask to speak with your manager, let them know this is very uncomfortable and/or awkward for you and then explain what happened about the email situation. Not sure I would mention the calendar, however you can probably advise there are others that can corroborate your findings.

DC

[pedinurse05]

You need to report this informaton to your manager as soon as possible. This behavior is inappropriate and is causing disruptions among the staff at work. I really don't understand your need to spare this co-worker any trouble. If this statement she logged in a journal about you is not true, then this person will stop at nothing in terms of retaliation. To accuse someone of child Media is a terrible...I really have a hard time understanding how your unit has all this time to look at the internet and gossip....geeessshhh, I barely get a potty break! So the drama....sounds like some tasteless scene from a midnight soap!

[Town & Country]

I don't get it.

Why are you the one who has been elected to go to the NM?

What about.........

But a few days later.....A trusted colleague and friend has also confirmed that the rumor is true and she worked with her during a slow night and witnessed her watching Media and chatting sexually to people online.

What about this person?

Why are they not going to the NM?

[Works2xs]

As others have said, there's really very little (if anything) that doesn't leave tell tale tracks regarding where people have been on the internet. Exactly how long that information available to your IT folks would be somewhat dependent on how often they run back ups of logs and how long they keep the logs once archived. The sooner you let them know what's going on, the easier it will be for the admins to pull the relevant log files (as well as prevent the data being lost to recycling of backup media) A heads up to them will also enable them to set "flags" on their server/firewall to track this person's next foray to the forbidden.

These log files can also work to your advantage. If you know the date that this person says you were visiting sites, then you can ask the IT folks to hold the backup of their servers for that date - which would show your account NOT going anywhere it wasn't supposed to go.

Of course, this all gets a bit sticky if your unit's computer security policy is lax regarding security, logging, password enforcement etc. And for your info, have you been disciplined in not sharing your password? Logging out after each session? etc. etc.

In short, this isn't necessarily a "their word against mine" sort of thing. There may very well be a ton of data to refute any claims against you as well as to substantiate claims against this other person. So even if you are on the fence regarding reporting this person's activities, if you believe that you will be falsely accused, then for your sake, it behooves you to do something before important supporting data is gone.

Good luck.

[Tony35NYC]

Maybe its because my own kids are so young, I fear for them every time I hear about these child rapists and child Mediaographers being busted (which seems to be very often nowadays). Makes me sick to my stomach to know that freaks like this woman are still out there enjoying the sexual abuse of other people's kids. She should be in prison. I wouldn't just report her to the manager, I would also call the police. Shouldn't matter at all what other people think if you report her and she gets fired. She deserves to be fired.