Insensitive Nurses

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I guess it is because I am new to the critical care field, but I don't understand how some nurses can be so insensitive to patients. I know some patients bring their issues upon themselves due to lifestyle or being non compliant with a disease, but they still are people. When I was giving report at the end of my shift saying the patient failed another wean trial, the nurse interrupted me and pretended to wipe away fake tears and say boohoo while she was laughing with my preceptor! This isn't the first time I have seen this type of behavior, so I was wondering if it is common place? Let me know what you think. Thanks.

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There are just plain mean, cruel and insensitive people in every walk of life, but sadly some are in nursing, where they have no right to be.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

Some frequent fliers can be very trying and frustrating, and this dark type of humor is a defense mechanism and sanity saver at times. You have to be able to let your hair down with your co-workers in between being a Saving Angel of Mercy and a Merciful Goddess of Goodness and Caring.

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Specializes in NICU.
Some frequent fliers can be very trying and frustrating, and this dark type of humor is a defense mechanism and sanity saver at times. You have to be able to let your hair down with your co-workers in between being a Saving Angel of Mercy and a Merciful Goddess of Goodness and Caring.

ITA.

I don't think I'm an insensitive, heartless person. But I can see how some of the things we vent about at work could be seen as insensitive by outsiders that haven't worked in that kind of setting for any length of time.

I think for the most part, nurses are caring and sensitive, as it goes with the territory. But there are a lot of situations that kinda "toughen you up" (for lack of better words), therefore you vent about it to your co-workers (because no one understands better than them).

We laugh and joke and talk about things that would surprise/shock/disgust/outrage people. But we also deal with stuff that average people don't deal with. It can be emotionally draining and incredibly hard to deal with at times.

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I understand dark humor in the workplace, but I too have seen this 'humor" taken a bit too far at times.If it affects the care that the nurse gives the patient then it has gone too far.

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Specializes in Burnout & Resiliency Coaching for Nurses.

In all fairness I can understand your hurt we are supposed to be nonjudgmental and professional at all times. The other side of the coin is frequent fliers, difficult families, and people that put themselves into positions (EXP: Return DKA 3 x a month for Non-compliance, Several expectant coming in with drug withdrawl, families that try to tell you how to do your job and even more annoying overstep boundaries and chase you down while you are helping another patient) remind me of the boy that cried wolf one to many times. It can be enough to drive you to drink. Eventually many become hardened to it and stop taking them very seriously, but face the fact we will be seeing many of them over and over again.

Sarcasm is our coping skill for the frustration we have and deal with on a daily basis. Either that, drinking, or Valium ;)

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Specializes in critical care.
I understand dark humor in the workplace, but I too have seen this 'humor" taken a bit too far at times.If it affects the care that the nurse gives the patient then it has gone too far.

Nurses can say things that are interpretated as cruel etc. I have never seen a co-worker compromise patient care because of this. I am certainly not an overly sensitive person, and I am very guilty of saying things that are not typically thought of as compassionate, Angel of mercy persona that non-med people think we all are. Yet, I still give good care. If I fail to give false hope to families/patients, well that is too bad. I think that the type of humor referred too, is for the patients that you see all the time, that are at the end of their lives, and family etc. won't give up. This is very hard to deal with, medical intervention can only do so much, and as an advocate for patients it is our job to facilitate the understanding that people DIE. To constantly be up against a brick wall (families), is extremely frustrating. So for those persons that think, wow, how horrible, how could he/she say that....well walk in the nurses shoes for a while. Coding an elderly 90 year old, or the terminal cancer patient, etc. is what is really horrible.

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while i have never gone so far as to fake tears for someone who failed a wean, i am guilty of having made milder comments. when it's done at the nurses' station or somewhere else out of the pts'/families' hearing, it's a way of venting, because we can't say it anywhere else. if we didn't have a way to vent, things would eat us up inside and you'd see a higher burnout rate. cruel and insensitive? maybe. but for people like icu/er nurses, it's also a way of survival.

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Specializes in Everytype of med-surg.

I think the response of wiping away pretend tears was beyond inappropriate. However, we are all human, and we have our limits. Yes, we become somewhat desensitized, but that is what makes us able to do our job. It really irks me when people say that nurses are angels, I am not an angel, I am human, I have my faults, please allow me to be human.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, Heme/Onc.

So, you are upset because your coworkers compromised patient care by venting to one another in a way that you wouldn't? Or did you feel somehow mocked by them pretending to "shed tears" over an issue that you were concerned about?

The ICU is a rough place, you are still in the "honeymoon" phase of your career and it's just about time for that "turmoil" phase to set in.

Here's a study about this I found on Medscape.com

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/541778_3

My experience has been that in order to see and deal with the things we deal with - especially working on the unit - you develop a thick skin and a warped sense of humor. I mean, have you ever had a patient where you gave your 100% to all day long, made no headway and were glad to have a few days off so that you would have a new assignment? Does that make you a bad person? No, and neither does a comment between coworkers, made in private, mean that care is compromised.

Good luck with the rest of orientation.

Blee

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I would find that behavior inexcusable only if the patient or a family member had overheard it or someone else told them. If that patient had been my father and I overheard the fake crying, security would have to escort me out.

Dark humor only works in very small doses. Too much of that crosses into a really mean spirit.

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Nurses can say things that are interpretated as cruel etc. I have never seen a co-worker compromise patient care because of this. I am certainly not an overly sensitive person, and I am very guilty of saying things that are not typically thought of as compassionate, Angel of mercy persona that non-med people think we all are. Yet, I still give good care. If I fail to give false hope to families/patients, well that is too bad. I think that the type of humor referred too, is for the patients that you see all the time, that are at the end of their lives, and family etc. won't give up. This is very hard to deal with, medical intervention can only do so much, and as an advocate for patients it is our job to facilitate the understanding that people DIE. To constantly be up against a brick wall (families), is extremely frustrating. So for those persons that think, wow, how horrible, how could he/she say that....well walk in the nurses shoes for a while. Coding an elderly 90 year old, or the terminal cancer patient, etc. is what is really horrible.
Frustration at this scenario is completely understandable, but the fake crying bit?
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