Insensitive Nurses

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I guess it is because I am new to the critical care field, but I don't understand how some nurses can be so insensitive to patients. I know some patients bring their issues upon themselves due to lifestyle or being non compliant with a disease, but they still are people. When I was giving report at the end of my shift saying the patient failed another wean trial, the nurse interrupted me and pretended to wipe away fake tears and say boohoo while she was laughing with my preceptor! This isn't the first time I have seen this type of behavior, so I was wondering if it is common place? Let me know what you think. Thanks.

Many valid points have been made that people should try walking in the nurses shoes. However also try walking in the shoes of an overstressed family who does NOT understand what is going on or what is being said to them. While it's just a day in the life for some for them it's their world turned upside down and then some.

It is not just a "patient" to them it is mom, dad, kid or whatever and letting go is hard for people and Americans in general.

Part of the problem is hospitals and certain societies themselves give conflicting messages, they pump up all the false hope and then dash it later. While it may be hard for nurses to code a "patient" It's even more difficult for the person who truely knew them and loved them back before they got sick.

People in all fields not just nursing should just watch their mouths, sometimes families overhear more then anyone would like to beleive and the reality is mouthing off in the wrong spot can ruin a career and it has.

There is a time and place for sarcasm being cloaked as a coping device and at work where one can be overheard isn't it. Drinking and drugging is also used by some as a "coping" mechanism and it's not allowed in the workplace so why should some rude, bitter words and actions be tolerated under the guise of "coping"?

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I would find that behavior inexcusable only if the patient or a family member had overheard it or someone else told them. If that patient had been my father and I overheard the fake crying, security would have to escort me out.

Dark humor only works in very small doses. Too much of that crosses into a really mean spirit.

Bingo it would take more then security in some places to escort anyone out. Better go ahead and call a bunch of seasoned old school cops equipped with the tasers, leg hobbles, and OC spray with some of the people I know if they overheard such a thing. People under stress (aka patients families) are known for some crazy stuff.

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I'm doing my last clinical rotation mentorship in a Critical care unit and the first day that I was there a patient was taken off of support and died with many family members all around. It was a fairly unexpected thing with a younger guy with teenaged kids. Lots of crying and sobbing as is to be expected. The problem was that 3 feet away from where the family was dealing with this horrific event, change of shift was happening and everyone else (docs/nurses/staff) were laughing and talking and drinking coffee etc... These are great people who are kind, compassionate and I would trust just about anyone of them with a loved one of mine, but I was embarrassed that no one else was noticing that it was a bit insensitive to be joking and laughing 2-3 feet from someone who is sobbing their heart out while they watch their family member die. So yes, sometimes people can be very insensitive. Not for one moment do I think anyone meant to be purposefully rude, I just think that they have become perhaps a bit desensitized in some respects to the grief that comes with death because they see it far more often than the everyday public (or even most nurses) do. You can't let your heart become sick over every tragic event or you will end up depressed and sick yourself, but a reminder to tone down the laughing/joking in times like these (especially in front of the patients) might be warranted. We don't want those family members last memories of the staff on the unit to be that everyone was partying while my mom/dad/sis etc.. was dying...

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i would be devastated if family ever heard my dark humor.

but dang, working w/death & dying full time, allow me my belly laughs at the episodic sick joke.

just allow me to pee my pants, rolling over in hysteria...just a drip or two.

let me say aloud to my working buddy, "thanks, i needed that", as i recompose myself.

i would much rather acknowledge my somewhat unstable coping mechanisms, than resort to drugs/etoh-which would harm myself and my pts.

as it stands, dark humor recognizes the worst of a situation in all its absurdity.

a key component of said humor, is its nonconformity and unwelcome element of shock value.

thank you God, for recognizing my frailties, yet allowing me to 'deal' with insufferable conditions, day in and day out.

without these laughs, we would all go nuts...

or, become addicted to a vice much unhealthier- to ourselves and our pts.

amen.

leslie

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Was she arrested? Nope...:madface:

I'm at a loss as to why the person attacked wouldn't call the police and press charges...

Good Lord.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
I'm at a loss as to why the person attacked wouldn't call the police and press charges...

Good Lord.

I was not present when this happened (thank goodness), however, I suspect that she was an illegal immigrant who was probably afraid that INS would find out about her. Over 60% of our patients have this situation, and it is difficult, even impossible in many cases to convince them that we are their advocates. I wish she had, though, because maybe the fact that charges were filed and an arrest occured would have been the deciding factor to terminate her.

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"When I was giving report at the end of my shift saying the patient failed another wean trial, the nurse interrupted me and pretended to wipe away fake tears and say boohoo while she was laughing with my preceptor!"

That is INCREDIBLY unprofessional and mean-spirited. Time for that nurse to find a new career, that's terrible. You can't be a nurse without empathy, what a shame.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
i would be devastated if family ever heard my dark humor.

but dang, working w/death & dying full time, allow me my belly laughs at the episodic sick joke.

just allow me to pee my pants, rolling over in hysteria...just a drip or two.

let me say aloud to my working buddy, "thanks, i needed that", as i recompose myself.

i would much rather acknowledge my somewhat unstable coping mechanisms, than resort to drugs/etoh-which would harm myself and my pts.

as it stands, dark humor recognizes the worst of a situation in all its absurdity.

a key component of said humor, is its nonconformity and unwelcome element of shock value.

thank you God, for recognizing my frailties, yet allowing me to 'deal' with insufferable conditions, day in and day out.

without these laughs, we would all go nuts...

or, become addicted to a vice much unhealthier- to ourselves and our pts.

amen.

leslie

I am with you, leslie. Basically, we all have weird coping skills...it is just that they are not aways visible to everyone. I, too, would be horrified to hear that a family member or client heard some of the dark things I have said. I am also realistic enough to say that it helps me. I make it through the day, I also know that many of my co-workers do, in fact feel the same way, so there is a comradre that exists and whether it is believed or not, I do care for my patients. But, I am human.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
change of shift was happening and everyone else (docs/nurses/staff) were laughing and talking and drinking coffee etc... These are great people who are kind, compassionate and I would trust just about anyone of them with a loved one of mine, but I was embarrassed that no one else was noticing that it was a bit insensitive to be joking and laughing 2-3 feet from someone who is sobbing their heart out while they watch their family member die. Not for one moment do I think anyone meant to be purposefully rude, I just think that they have become perhaps a bit desensitized in some respects to the grief that comes with death because they see it far more often than the everyday public (or even most nurses) do. You can't let your heart become sick over every tragic event or you will end up depressed and sick yourself, but a reminder to tone down the laughing/joking in times like these (especially in front of the patients) might be warranted. We don't want those family members last memories of the staff on the unit to be that everyone was partying while my mom/dad/sis etc.. was dying...

That, I can accept. My friend told me the same thing-that she was in the middle of receiving report and saw a family member weeping. She asked to be excused from report to go and take the family member to a private room to grieve.

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Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

When I was new, I tried to believe the best of ALL patients....

But that changed........

The other night, I was covering 12 patients with an LPN. I work Oncology. I was deluged with medsurg patients..."the insist on getting up against medical advice and fall on butt" patient, "the 500+ patient that complains about sliding down in bed, and the time it takes to get enough people to pull him/her up Q15minutes", the "I deserve a private room and will complain until I get it, by hitting the call light Q10 minutes", the "I'm the son of the owner of the local BIG IMPORTANT car dealership...substance abuser"drying out for 7th time in 6 monthes, and the "I want a supposiory STAT" person, interrupting the care of a terminal patient's care and helping the family deal.

At the end of my shift , I give report to the oncoming nurse, finishing with last admit....sent 25 minutes before end of shift...literally 15 minutes after carting the body from room and a quick room cleaning. I saw the age and the DX: medical admit, 40s, esophageal varices, vomiting blood. And before I even reviewed the report (taken by another nurse, during my absence from the floor to cart off the body), I knew what it said.

So I give report to the oncoming nurse, who already is wary given the rest of the patients. BAC 5x the legal limit, positive for opiates, and meth. 8 visits in less than 5 monthes. On disability, on 8-9 home meds (as noted in his many old charts, that took a cart to bring up from med recs. - several major BP and cardiac meds) but the only drug he remembers is 60mg of Oxycontin that he takes several times per day....and that he ABSOLUTELY CANNOT MISS ONE DOSE of.....ABSOLUTELY...."do you understand that CLEARLY!!!!! MUST NOT BE LATE EVEN ONE MINUTE on the oxycontin!!!!!!! He, of course, is having pain that is a 100 on the 1/10 scale, yet hikes to the chip machine and asks to sign out to go smoke. And this need to smoke is SSOOOOOO important that he phones the charge nurse in report, to tell her.

He has been detoxed repeatedly, given every social service available, been made more than aware that meth/etoh/smoking will make him bleed to death. He has played with and ruined more IVs than there are jelcos in central supply, and will carry on like a martyr when we have stick him one more time....despite the track marks and injection scars between his toes.

And we will keep admitting him, deal with the manipulation, restart the IVs and deal with the threats of lawsuits and leaving AMA.

During report, I laugh at a few points because they are soooo cliche' medically, whereupon she asks why. And I tell her, that I am dehydrated, hypoglycemic, I need to pee, my back hurts and that if I don't laugh, I will cry....

And she understands fully.

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There is a point in nursing, where all the medical patient cliches' become real, and every thing has been sucked out of you as a nurse. And you have to laugh, to not cry. The humor can be very dark and bizarre. It is a way of coping, and better than some of the alternatives.

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