I'm the insensitive husband. My wife is a nurse that works in the float pool. She spends a lot time working in behavioral health and the medical floors.
She has been working 3-4 16 hour shifts per 2 week pay period lately.
She feels that since she is working 16 hour shifts, and a nurse that I should be more appreciative.
I see things different than her. I wish I could 16 hour shifts and have more days off. I will 4 days off to her 8-9 days off per pay period. I work 80 hours per pay period and she works 60-70 hours. I wish I could do that.
She will also explain to me how hard nursing is. In my mind, that is what she enjoys and is good at. Most of her issues with being a nurse is dealing with other nurses. It has nothing to do with the work itself.
I basically came her to see if I could get a better understanding of how she feels. To hear from other nurses that have done the same thing and how their spouses were.
Please don't hold back. I want your real thoughts. If I mad you mad, then tell me.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
You smell beautiful, Chaos!
Awwwww, thank you. [emoji4]
This post has made me realize how lucky I am to have my husband. That when we have issues he doesn't run to a random Internet forum & talk smack about me to total strangers. We talk things out like adults. I'm 27 & my husband is 31. I admit though, when we first had our son we would keep score & it was horrible on our relationship. But there was an adjustment period there & we are a lot better now that he is almost 2.
Perhaps the perspective should not be about hours worked in a week (marriage is not a competition) but ulitmately how you honor each other. Ideally, your marriage is a team; therefore, you discuss how to work together each day for the overall good of your family.
You start a load of laundry, she preps dinner so that when you get home on the days she works later, it is ready.
If you continue to compete, the marriage will end-the only question will be when.
I know one thing, your punctuation and spelling is atrocious! This is rather strange but you have no idea what we deal with. I'm retired but you can't possibly understand us if you can't believe your own wife, what is wrong with you. I'm going to refer you to consult a marriage counselor ok? You are being childish. Grow up. Poor woman deals with patients and other nurses 12 hours and you're jealous. Go to nursing school. Try it. Idk though. Mentally I honestly don't think you could handle it.
Look at the responses you have gotten so far. Advice such as "don't ask us, it isn't our problem", you have been called "childish" and told to get a "waaaambulance", etc. Imagine having to work with 7 or 8 of these people for 16 hours a day, 4 days a week! Case closed.
Specializes in Med/surg,orthopedics,emergency room,.
Okay, it is a bit wierd that you should post but here is my two cents: my husband is sometimes a bit insensitive when it comes to me being a nurse,but once( or twice,or maybe a few times!) I explain things to him and he seems to be okay. For example, when he would pick me up I would tell him I get off at 11:30. Well that's If my relief isn't late, and the count is correct, and if I've done everything I need to do. I don't think he really understood the magnitude of me being a nurse until one day we witnessed someone being hit by a car and I stopped to render aid. He saw me in my element and after that no more "whining". Try and be a little more supportive of your wife's career choice. Not everyone can be on their feet for at least 14 of a 16 hour shift, eat on the run,(if you eat at all!) and go to the restroom whenever!!!!!
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Look at the responses you have gotten so far. Advice such as "don't ask us, it isn't our problem", you have been called "childish" and told to get a "waaaambulance", etc. Imagine having to work with 7 or 8 of these people for 16 hours a day, 4 days a week! Case closed.
Well I wouldn't want to work with you either. First thing, it *isn't* our problem. Second, he is going behind his wife's back & whining about the issues he's having with her to total strangers. Third, he is refusing to get any sort of counseling or real help. Fourth, you don't know what any of us are like in person. Fifth, if my husband did this behind my back I would be *livid*!
Why should we be happy for him when he has shown he is doing nothing to make his marriage better and also he did not want advice. All he did was clump nurses together, assumed all nurses came home & whined after a long day.
OrganizedChaos, LVN
1 Article; 6,883 Posts
I thought the same thing until he said he was 40.