Infatuated with colleague - need counsel

mindlor · Mar 18, 2012

It would be completely ok to ask her out. Get a yes or a no, either way, you can move forward.

NP Sam · Mar 18, 2012

I cannot stop laughing because you said "Infatuated and Need counsel." Wow, this really makes my Sunday! I don't see anything wrong with this except you said you cannot focus on anything but her. Let us make the patient our priority during our shift. Afterwards, anything goes;). Best of luck!

allnurses Guide · Mar 18, 2012

Lots of people will say "do not do this" - because of the gossip mill, what if it doesn't work out, etc etc etc. I don't say that. It's hard enough to find the right person and it would be ridiculous imo to shut the door on it just because you work together. However, I've seen the fallout from those that didn't work out with plenty of childish antics to go along with it.

If you proceed, don't talk about it at work. Keep your behavior strictly professional. There are many nurses here who met their lifetime partners at work. Best wishes! :)

allnurses Guide · Mar 18, 2012

Aw!

Ask her out!

I dated a coworker before and it was no problem. We behaved professionally and many people didn't even realize we were dating. I know plenty of others who have done this, too.

I have to say this again...

Awwwwwwwwww!!!!

interceptinglight, CNA · Mar 18, 2012

If she's flirting with you, she may want you to ask her out! Just keep your work separate from your personal life as appropriate. Of course, if you enter a romantic relationship with a co-worker, realize that you will still have to work together if things don't work out for any reason....nevertheless -- nothing ventured, nothing gained!! Go ask her out -- then get back to work!!!!!

phattass, BSN, RN · Mar 18, 2012

AWWWWWWWWWW....ask her out! and heed all the above warnings. Good luck!

orangepink, NP · Mar 18, 2012

Just be very discreet. Extremely discreet. Better yet, don't talk about it even when you feel all mushy on the inside. Generally-speaking, two nurses who are known to be dating can not work in the same unit and in some hospitals in my area, they can not work in the same hospital.

LynnLRN · Mar 18, 2012

I've dated coworkers. However, I'm very mature and not dramatic (and the people I've dated have been the same way). So when it ends it has not caused any trouble. You definitely have to be cautious if she seems even a little crazy (especially if you want to continue your career where you currently work when you graduate). You have to go in to this with an expectation that the relationship could end, and then think would you both be able to handle that without making the work place unbearable.

Guttercat, ASN, RN · Mar 19, 2012

She is my age, incredibly pretty and flirts with me like crazy. .

To be a total wet rag here, keep this in mind:

Speaking from a female perspective, men have the tendency to take the slightest possibility of an open door and interpret it entirely differently than what the woman intends. i.e., "she spilled her coffee down her shirt front and laughed with me about it. She must want me."

For all you know she merely feels "safe" around you. In the medical work setting, we often see stress-decompression accomplished by silly banter between colleagues. It's de rigeur for some folks.

youngolf · Mar 19, 2012

how bout ask her out and if she says yes, take it very slow. get to know each other for a while before you let your heart mush up...in other words, be patient. if she is right for you and you are right for her, you will know given time. its about similar values and goals, beliefs and compatibility, not just the hots for each other. its about time we humans exercised something called discipline and used our brain before getting over-wrought with someone, hopping into bed (now called hooking up), realizing how different you are, then having a blow up break up because someone felt used...and the rest of us having to put up with it, not to mention the baby-making potential of premarital sexual activity.

may be jumping ahead here for you, but lets be smart.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Mar 19, 2012

Guess I'm going to be the dissenter around here. Sorry. Be very aware of what your facility's policy is on "fraternizing", etc. I used to work in a hospital that would not let married people work on the same unit as the spouse, and if they knew a couple was dating, one of them would have to get transferred to another unit. And that was just if the two people involved had the same job level. What you're talking about is getting involved with someone who is technically your supervisor when you work the same shift...meaning, she is responsible for directing your activities, and you are responsible for reporting to her. And, in some facilities, would have an impact on disciplinary actions as well.

Just be aware, that's all I'm saying.