-When you write this essay you want to be concise, clear, and authentic. They read many of these several times yearly so you want to stand out as best you can.
- I have always told prospective students that there FIRST sentence should grab my attention. I think you have an opportunity to make a creative first sentence with your veterinary experience.
-No need to say"woman who is like second mother to me." Not necessary, just say godmother or close family friend or something similar. In my opinion, all cancer is terrible, so just say "cancer."
Other general notes:
- I suggest getting rid of the "so passionately want to successfully.." Super wordy.
- They don't give you direction on purpose. With nursing essays, they get a snapshot on the applicant's intelligence, maturity, and current grasp on what the nursing profession actually entails.
Best of luck to you, make sure as you rewrite that you read essay out loud several times to yourself. Helped me a lot :)