In FNP program, delay or push through?

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Hi friends,

I need advice badly.

Here's a quick background. I'm newly divorced as of this past December, have two little girls that are 2 & 7, with the 7 y.o. in grade school, working full-time in a new RN position (RN of 4 years), and began online FNP program full-time in January. I have my girls just over half-time. When I have the girls, their dad works and vice versa. I squeeze in study time during naps and after their bedtime...

Here's the dilemma... clinical rotations are to start in the Fall, which means I will likely have to cut my work hours to part-time AND find at least part-time daycare. Income goes down and expenses and time commitments go up. Oy. The plus about powering through clinicals and my full-time program is the faster I finish, the quicker I can gain some semblance of normalcy for my babies. They are bounced between parents and family members constantly due to our work schedules. Its tough!

OR would any of you advise me to delay clinical start a year and in-turn lengthen my program by a year (Fall 2015 graduation vs Fall 2016 graduation) in order to avoid a year's worth of childcare expenses and save for a longer period of time (working full-time)??... my littlest will start full-time pre-K Fall 2016 and its FREE!

The thought of lengthening this process at all is a tough pill to swallow, but I'm not sure it's wise to push through at the demise of my own success... and the knowledge I need to have a firm grasp on to do right by my future patients. I'm really torn.

Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated for this mentally and physically exhausted mama!

Do you all have any other ideas?

I just want to make a better life for my girls... "normal" hours (compared with school hours) and better financial security. It's the getting there...

From the bottom of my heart, thank you in advance for your thoughtful replies!

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That is a hard decision to make but am not sure I would push back the FNP program for another year. Try to get the help of family members or close friends. In the end you will be happy that you didn't extend your program for another year. Loans are also an option. Stay strong and you will be ok. As women we are strong and determined and it is often when our backs are to the wall, that it brings out the best and strongest of us.

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Specializes in psychiatric.

I have 4 teenagers and I had been in a similar situation years ago when starting an adn program. I ended up putting it off for a few years after a lot of soul searching. I saw myself with a preschooler at home who was being shortchanged, I was stressed ALL OF THE TIME. I felt guilty for wishing she would just nap already so I could study! I went back to school a few years later and I was able to devote much more time to my studies without the guilt and stress. Just knowing that they were all in school and I could let go of that responsibilty for a few hours was amazing and energizing. I feel I was much more effective at learning and retaining than I was previously. I hear your stress and guilt but know that kids are resiliant and would do better with a mom that is not run ragged than a mom that has to devote every spare minute to school.

A year seems like a lot but that doesn't mean your education can't start. I am starting Grad school in the fall and I have been studying Grad level Patho and Pharmacology on my own, trying to familiarize myself with the content.

It's hard to step back and see things objectively, so try making a pro and con list (an honest one), that usually helps me focus on what my real concerns are. Make one for going to school in the fall and make one for starting in a year. Good Luck! You sound like a great mom and nurse!

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Specializes in Emergency.

The short answer is no one can answer this for you, but you. It is a decision that you have to make.

However, we can try to offer advise. As a disclaimer, I personally lean heavily towards the push through. That is what I have typically done in situations like this in my life, because I feel that more often than not, there will always be a road block or two thrown in your way. Figuring out how to navigate around those road blocks to either avoid or overcome them is what life is all about.

I have a couple of questions for you. You say clinicals start in the fall, and how long do they last for? Can you obtain additional financial aid for this period to cover the additional costs of day care? Is the ex on the hook for any of it? Is there any family that would be willing to help?

I ask these questions because, I think they impact your decision fairly substantially. If it's just the financial aspect (and I have no clue about your financial situation), then I would say getting started in your new career one year earlier would have as much of a positive impact financially in the long term as the cost of the additional day care costs for a couple of semesters. Again, I don't know the details of your financial and family support, so this may not be the case for you.

Spending time with my family is very important to me, and it appears to be very important to you too. However, I'm going to suggest again, that being busy for a couple of semesters may be worth it in the long run if that means you are then able to work a stable, 40 hr a week job for the rest of their childhood. Now, this may be tempered by several factors including your relationship with your ex, the custody issues, and several others, so I certainly can't be sure of this in your situation at all.

Your decision is not an easy one in the least. Whatever you decide will lead to a difficult year or two for you and your family. It is what makes this path so difficult for many of us. I wish you the best in whatever you choose.

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Specializes in Home Health, Podiatry, Neurology, Case Mgmt.

I have to say I completely agree with zmansc's recommendation and questions. I have 3 kids (5, 8 and 9), a disabled hubby, and work full time, but I made the decision to do my FNP full-time so that I could be finished in 18 mo versus 24mo. My income is the only thing that keeps us afloat, much like you, I do not have a choice but to work. Hubby is not able to keep the kids himself without help so i do depend heavily on family, friends and a part-time sitter. We have the least cable service to save money (but i did invest in a ROKU box for media streaming), the highest internet due to my school. We shop at Save-A-Lot, Aldi, and Walmart brands, and we do not go out to eat at all. There are many things my kids have given up for me to go to school and it does suck sometimes, however, I know that my financial and work stability will be greater once i'm finished with school. I hope you can come to a decision that best works for your family! Good luck!

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I think you should do whatever you're most comfortable with. It's a hard situation, but there's nothing wrong with delaying and graduating later.

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I got teary-eyed when I read your post barnstormin'... although I think stress makes me bit emotional anyway ;) "Stressed all of the time" is me right now. I almost don't recognize myself. I say things before I think to my kids, snap at people for no good reason... this is not ME. Reading your post made me feel like I'm not a loon and someone has been where I am. It stinks. I'm beyond grateful that I'm even in an MSN program! Maybe I just haven't found my footing/my groove yet. I've gone through a world of personal changes the last year and a half and now I've tossed grad school and navigating single-parenthood into the mix. Not to mention I've been training for a new position, attending LOTS of extra classes for work (in addition to my regularly scheduled 36 hours) AND our hospital is getting a brand new EMR program system-wide... I have at least two 46 hour work weeks coming up to train for that and a two day Pediatric ALS class to complete soon too. Holy cow. Maybe once I get all of my work extras out of the way I'll be able to focus a bit more.

So I think that, after talking to my friends and family, I'm going to push through (for now)... if it just becomes too much I can step back and re-evaluate (I have 5 years from admittance to finish per my school). I haven't even started the clinical portion yet and would kick myself if I didn't at least give it a fair shot. After this semester, before the next starts, I'll take a hard look at what I can change to ease my burden...

My mom always says "if grad school was easy, everybody would do it." I'm not sure everyone would, but I see her point. I'll just keep swimming in the meantime. :)

Thank you ALL for your ideas, thoughts and encouragement! I've taken every post to heart... I will find a balance eventually!!!! This isn't my forever, thank goodness! Ha!

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Specializes in psychiatric.

Ha Ha...you sound like me, I love a challenge! It's good that you have the option to back off if if needed, that is a stress reliever as well. I totally get the need to have it over and done with. You sound very intelligent and able to weigh the options and find the best one for your situation, I'm sure you will succeed no matter what. I will look forward to seeing your posts this fall, I will be starting then as well. Good Luck!

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Specializes in Emergency.

Often times making a decision is the toughest part of the path. The only thing that concerns me is when you said you feel like you are snapping at your kids and that's not you. Make sure you fit some even remotely small breaks in there for you, so that you can rejuvenate your batteries even a bit. The old saying about taking care of yourself so that you can take care of others applies.

Good Luck!

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Another consideration is to avoid the possibility of unforseen changes affecting the viability of your program. A lot can happen in a year. There were people frozen out of completing my nursing program when the school changed curriculums and established drop dead points along the program path. Not likely, but still possible.

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I had a similar decision to make a few years ago, and chose to wait a year to start clinicals. I am glad I did. I was in a better frame of mind and better financial situation to cut back my work hours and really commit to school a year later. Even that has been an extremely intense experience. I am sure I would have been miserable had I started a year early under more adverse circumstances.

But as several people have said, only you can make the decision about what is right for you and your family. I am sure you will make the right decision -- in fact, not sure there is a right and wrong decision -- and things will work out great no matter what you do!

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