In my first semester and want another baby

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Sep 29, 2015

I wouldn't do it. Why make life more complicated?

There are no pros & a whole lotta cons.

I can tell you right now my mom had one easy pregnancy & one rough pregnancy. I already had a rough one, hoping the next one is smoother.

Also I wouldn't have a baby until I'm guaranteed FMLA & maternity leave or else you won't have a job when you come back.

Like you said, it is your decision but you worked hard to get into nursing school, is it worth it to have to delay it because you want a baby?

cracklingkraken, ASN, RN · Sep 29, 2015

That's a small window of time to plan a baby. A lot of mothers in my current program, with only one child, say how hard it is for them to be missing out on so much their child's life (especially if the child is a newborn).

Horseshoe, BSN, RN · Sep 29, 2015

A lot of women have done this and survived it. I did it and wouldn't recommend it.

I don't know how old you are, but if you can wait, you will avoid a whole lot of stress on you and your family.

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · Sep 29, 2015

I guess my first question would be to ask how old you are? If you are in your twenties, wait. There is no reason to rush anything. If you are late 30s or early 40s, your window of time is much smaller and I would say go for it, but know what you are getting into. It's going to be hugely difficult to finish school, study for NCLEX, and find a job with a newborn. And once you graduate, you don't have a lot of time to pass NCLEX and find a job. Your new grad status lasts for a year. What if you want to stay home for a little bit? It's hard to try and leave a newborn.

If you are younger and in your twenties and really want to be a nurse as your career choice, you need to wait. I can't imagine putting in all of this work and then throwing it away. I'm 39 right now, soon to be 40. I have met my soulmate this past January. I graduate in May. My boyfriend and I are planning on buying a house together after I graduate and find a job near him next summer. I have a 9 year old son with my ex-husband. I was married for 15 years and filed for divorce and signed up for school in the same week and have been working hard to achieve my goal of becoming a nurse. My boyfriend has no children of his own, but absolutely loves kids. He works with them and coaches them in varying sports. His ex-wife was infertile which lead to the demise of their marriage because it devastated her. As I am going to be 40, I would love to give him a child. I also have some fertility issues, but know it happened once and could possibly happen again. But, I also know I need to graduate school and get a job first.

We decided that if it happens, it happens, if it doesn't, it doesn't. With us living an hour apart from each other right now and my crazy schedule with school, we don't see each other every day. And when we do, some nights we are both exhausted. He has a demanding job and I have a demanding schedule. So we don't have sex every time we are together. I'm not really worried about it happening right now. But we know on the off chance it did, we would both be ok with it. No pressure.

Weigh your options and make the best choice for you. School will only get more difficult after the first semester. More care plans to do, more clinical hours. I would wait though, and that would be the decision I would make.

TiffanyMcNurse2b · Sep 29, 2015

I'm 28. I know I have a lot of time, but honestly I want to get babies done while time is on my side. I have PCOS so having the first one was a surprise. I have a solid job with great healthcare benefits and short term disability and PTO.

With that said I have the same concerns about that taking away time from my daughter, she will start pre-k in August, and has been in daycare since 6 weeks old. I have been blessed with an amazing daycare, and would certainly send another child there.

I do worry about class work getting completed and study time with a new baby, but I would have 12 weeks off work just to care for baby and attempt homework.

I did set up an appointment to discuss IUD removal, so maybe between now and then I can make my final decision. I will also be able to counsel with my provider in life balance issues.

CBlover, BSN, RN · Sep 29, 2015

You've gotten some great advice from some regulars on here...and I agree that woohoo I couldn't imagine being in nursing school with an infant. I am pregnant now with my first and am so happy I waited until I have a solid nursing job and don't have to worry about passing tests and NCLEX AND caring for a newborn.

mrsboots87 · Sep 29, 2015

Have you considered clinical? Would you be cleared in time to participate. I will sound like a broken record, as I have given the same advice multiple times. This is a terrible idea. Baby fever will come and go. There is a huge risk to planning a pregnancy through nursing school. One complication and youre done. But it's not just that. What about morning sickness. I don't know if you had it the first time around or not, but as you know each pregnancy is different. If you get terrible morning sickness this go around, how do you expect to study and sit through lecture and actually retain what you are learning.

I get the baby fever. I have two kids and they are amazing. However, I am in my last semester of nursing school and my youngest is 2.5. It has been rough having to lock myself away from her because all she ever wants is mom. I feel terrible because I see my kids for one family day (which is really only a few hours on the weekend) and thats about it. I'm studying in the room or at work the rest of the time. Are you willing to push your newborn aside in order to succeed in nursing school? That comment is not meant harshly. Prioritizing your school over being with a newborn is not wrong if the baby is well cared for otherwise. You just have to be strong enough to do it.

BeachsideRN, ASN · Sep 29, 2015

Ok, hear me out.
For some reason, and I'm not sure why.. if my biological clock is yelling at me or what, but I have the strongest urge to have another baby. My daughter will be 4 in March, and I just feel like it's time to have a baby.
I am in my first semester of Nursing School, and things are going well. I work 2 or 4 days a week in the OR on a rotating schedule to maintain my healthcare benefits, and feel like I balance things pretty well. I'm the type of person who constantly needs something to do.
While I know that NO pregnancy can be perfectly planned, we do have a couple weeks break at the end of July- mid August (In August I would have 10 months left in the program). If I could deliver in that time (likely planned C-section as first was born that way) it shouldn't take much away from my education, and I wouldn't be working at that time for at least 12 weeks. I also had a very healthy first pregnancy, worked on my feet upt to 10 hours a day, no complications whatsoever, and I know each pregnancy can be different, but I would hope to have the same luck.
I know it's ultimately my decision on what I do, but I would like some sound advice or encouragement either way :)

Omg. I think you're in my head. Though my baby is 2.5 and I'll be halfway thorough my program on January. I'm also a bit older (36) and I really want number 2. And I had a miserable first pregnancy and ppd.

jena5111, ASN, RN · Sep 30, 2015

I firmly believe that each woman needs to decide what's best for HER.

As a just-turned 36-year-old, I will graduate from nursing school in December. I have no children. Heck, I didn't even meet the "love of my life" until age 31. We're still together and I guess need to plan a wedding at some point--we've been engaged since 12/2013 and I don't want to deal with wedding stuff until nursing school is over! Despite dozens of questions from well-meaning friends and family about the big day.

Sigh.

Anyway, my/our biological clock is...shall we say...active. But I will not try for a baby until after graduating, securing a nursing job, and working there for a period of time. I just can't justify it after all the time and effort I've put into the nursing endeavor. (My fiance is on board with this).

I am healthy, active, and fertility issues don't run in my family. So hopefully everything will work out. But I know there's a chance it will be challenging--which is why I choose not to pursue a child right now. I feel like I need to have the good livelihood established before I take that next step. What if there are complications?

But, to each her own. OP, you'll figure out what works for you. Good luck.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Sep 30, 2015

Three classmates were pregnant during my time in nursing school. Two of the ladies were relatively healthy, in their mid 20s and returned without skipping a beat after giving birth.

The third woman was in her mid to late 30s, a heavy smoker, and delivered a baby girl that was small for gestational age. She ended up not returning to finish with the rest of the cohort.

Take these stories and use them as you please. Good luck!

augurey · Sep 30, 2015

It has been done and can be done. Everyone is different in how they can handle it.

Just because you're first pregnancy was complication free, it doesn't guarantee that the second will be, which it sounds like you are already aware of.

I'm only speaking from experience as I just had a baby 3 weeks ago, just a few weeks into my first semester. My first pregnancy was complication free other than needing a c section for fetal distress. This pregnancy was a shock to my husband and me. It was a complication free pregnancy other than a few scares earlier on with some bleeding between 5-7 weeks (spotting) and at 15 weeks (a big bleed).

Any time I was worried about my son, it felt nearly impossible to focus on school.

Two weeks into the semester, at 38 weeks, I had been having reduced fetal movement. I had been into L&D four times within a week and a half. The first time they were concerned and contemplated delivering, but fortunately the biophysial profile came back good. The fourth time I was in, he wasn't looking very good which lead them to take him by c section that night.

My doctor was hesitant to clear me for return at 3 weeks postpartum for fear of over doing it. I still have to get clearance to start clinical October 20th. Going back to class with a newborn is hard. Not just having to leave them, but to juggle it all especially with so much sleep deprivation (I've had 3 hours of sleep in the last 2 nights combined).

So in my long novel of a post, what I'm trying to say is that there are no guarantees in pregnancy. You may have a perfect pregnancy and delivery and can return without issue. This is the case for many. But you also have to take into consideration if, God forbid, that there are complications or you have to have him a little sooner than planned. How would that affect you if you had to be out at the end of a semester?

I would look into your program's maternity policy and if you can take a semester off if you need to without having to re-enroll or wait another year. If you absolutely want to go with it, just make sure you know their policies as to not be taken by surprise just in case delivery / the immediate postpartum period would coincide with school rather than on your break. Also, make sure you have an excellent support system in place.

I don't say any of this to discourage you at all as it's absolutely possible to do and still do well. It's a personal decision and only you know what you can and cannot handle.

I wish you the best of luck with whichever way you choose to go!