I'm only 22 years old.

rita359 · Nov 6, 2008

My friends are finishing up college with majors like sculpture and philosophy. I just moved away from my hometown in June. I don't have a lot of close friends here besides the boyfriend I live with. I'm only 22 years old. Am I really supposed to be seeing this much suffering? To face these problems? Am I really the LEADER in the hospital experience? I'm only 22 and I think people that only have breast cancer, no mets, are the luckiest people in the world. I think that people with cancer everywhere, who are combative and try to get out of bed and don't know who they are and need to constantly be on narcotics are the norm. I am ONLY TWENTY TWO.

Your friends will wake up one day and find they will have the hardest time making a real living. There are some sculptors who are famous, a lot of them only after their death. On the other hand, you are 22 and already able to support yourself as an adult should be able to do. It will take awhile but you will either find you love oncology or cannot put up with the emotional strain. There are many other areas in nursing in which you can explore and finally find your passion. I'm 60 and lived with the illusion that most people are healthy until I realized that all the pharmacies on every corner are always busy. I guess there is a wide spectrum of "healthy"

cherrybreeze, ADN, RN · Nov 6, 2008

when people are sick they go the hospital. you are the nurse. it's part of the job description.

To the OP, I am not understanding your question/concern. You are an adult (as evidenced by moving in with your boyfriend?). You went to school, you are a nurse, and this is what a nurse does, and sees. I became a CNA at 16 and watched people die....I could say the same, should I see that at 16? but that was the job I chose to do. You're not a kid any more, I don't think there's such a thing as "only 22."

I must have missed something.

j450n, BSN, MSN, RN · Nov 7, 2008

My friends are finishing up college with majors like sculpture and philosophy. I just moved away from my hometown in June. I don't have a lot of close friends here besides the boyfriend I live with. I'm only 22 years old. Am I really supposed to be seeing this much suffering? To face these problems? Am I really the LEADER in the hospital experience? I'm only 22 and I think people that only have breast cancer, no mets, are the luckiest people in the world. I think that people with cancer everywhere, who are combative and try to get out of bed and don't know who they are and need to constantly be on narcotics are the norm. I am ONLY TWENTY TWO.

It's not the magnitude of a situation that matters, but it's how you deal with it that makes all the difference in the world. I think in your early 20's you go through a lot of soul-searching and stuff. I don't care what people say, college for me was not even close to the real world. In many ways, it was still like high school all over again. Every now and then everyone feels like a lone wolf, but I think people eventually find some sort of social network wherever they go. I'm 22 as well and while all of my peers that graduated with me in June from the university are already working full-time, not having to worry about exams, going out and enjoying the nightlife; I've had to move back home with my parents so that I can try to finish pre-reqs for an Accelerated BSN program (my degree was in liberal arts). It's a bit disheartening for me, but such is life.

At any rate, we're supposed to be enjoying ourselves at 22. Just surround yourself with intrinsically, good people, be mad for it, and be a searcher of great times. It's cliche, but everything really does happen for a reason. Trust me, I've learned this the hard way. The past couple years of my life have been pretty tumultuous and I've been at the lowest lows...no joke. Many days I've asked: "Why me?"

Hang in there. Faith is rewarded and tolerance is celebrated as a virtue.

1styearsucks · Nov 7, 2008

I can relate to how you are feeling.At the age of 20 I was a CNA at a nursing home before I became a nurse. I remember how I felt when I saw that amount of suffering you speak of. Honestly, it made me not look forward to getting older.It made me fear for my loved ones to get older. So, at 22 should you be seeing this much suffering? I do not think age is the issue. But can you as a person stand to continue to see this much suffering? I am 23, and I enjoy oncology and palitive care but that is my personality. I do know that being our age and seeing what we see as nurses makes us more mature, humble and more respectful than a lot of our friends.When I see these young guys on these motorcycles with their shirts off, all I see is the road rash to come..lol!!! But I do understand what you mean.A lot of people our age still have that "I"m young and invincible complex" but we know better. :nurse:

penelopelp · Nov 7, 2008

Some people grew up in situations where they saw lots of pain and suffering way before they were 22. Count yourself lucky that you lived in a more protected world before that. There is pain and suffering in the world, and that's the way it is. You can take this as a reminder to enjoy being young and healthy. All your experiences can make you a stronger person.

PiPhi2004 · Nov 7, 2008

I started as an RN at 22yo. I was the youngest on my unit in ICU when I started, and when I resigned to move back to my home state, I was still the youngest. I am only 23 now but I am pretty proud of myself when I think of all I have done at only 22. I think I am far more mature than most of my friends, and most of my friends my age look up to me. I feel pretty happy to have such a good paycheck at 23! I have held the hand of all ages while they passed away, from ones as young as me to as old as 100! I am ONLY 23. Feel proud of what you have accomplished at such a young age. Some days I felt the same as you though, like maybe I took on too much at such a young age. Some days I feel that I am older than my years as I don't really understand the ME ME ME attitude of most of my peers. I didn't get the chance to make mistakes and 'find myself' I was too busy with nursing school! I have always known what I wanted with my life and went out there and got it! So did you, so be proud of that!!!

It also makes it hard when you are on a floor where everyone is older than you and they really think you have no business in an ICU at 23. I have had to prove myself more than most RNs who have the same experience as me but may be 30ish. Many people on this forum have expressed their opinions about that and its really sad (one poster even said that they think no one under 30 should ever do advanced pt care :angryfire). Whatever others want to believe, you can be competent to be an RN at 22! I personally think I'm a dang good one. :smokin:

So be proud of what you have accomplished and embrace it! It is truly a great thing!!! :yeah:

And for the poster who had something to say about living with a bf at 22, give me a break!!! :uhoh3:

mpccrn, BSN, RN · Nov 7, 2008

i did it since receiving my license at 19. i'm not sure why you are so shocked by what you are seeing and doing. what did you think you were getting into? ot trying to be mean, but i'm hearing and seeing this allot. :smokin:

ChristineN, BSN, RN · Nov 7, 2008

I am only 21 and yet I've been a nurse for 4 months, and a PCT for two years before that. While I've never worked oncology, I have seen my share of death, dying, and sad situations. I would personally be offended if anyone referred to me as being "only" anything. I know in this day and age people try to stay teenagers forever, but I am a mature adult, and I expect to be treated like one. I am proud of the achomplishments I've made so far in my life. I have a diploma that is a high needs field, so I'll always be able to find work. In 5 years, when your friends are ready to settle down and support a family, are they seriously going to be able to do that by sculpting? I don't think so.

flightnurse2b, LPN · Nov 7, 2008

it sounds like you are having a tough time and i am sorry to hear it... you are too young to be so stressed out.

i was an emancipated minor @ age 16, passed my paramedic registry @ age 18, moved in with my boyfriend @ age 21 and graduated nursing school @ age 24. i am called by my friends and family an "old soul".

i have seen more in my 6 years as a paramedic then the 30 year nurses i work with. some of it has given my nightmares, some of it has shaped my life and paradigm of thinking, some of it has made me smarter, some has made me less trusting, some has made me want to give up on human good, some has made me see it ten times over.

thats the beauty of our field! we can touch lives and see people at their worst and love them when they need us the very most. what you do is something most 22 year olds don't even dream of!

congratulate yourself on being part of this exceptional profession and don't give up on it yet. oncology is hard and i commend you, because i sure know i couldn't do it. try another specialty for a while.... perhaps something like outpt surgery or endoscopy, where there are no strings attached and you experience very little heartbreak, or something like rehab where you can watch people regain their function from being severely debilatated.

and as far as living with your bf, good for you.... those who mind don't matter. some of my friends disapproved when i moved in with mine, but we are still together and i am so thankful we have gone this way.... i only want to get married once and we have learned so much about each other and have truly become best friends even after knowing the annoying things the other does!

i wish you the best.... lots of hugs

Thornbird · Nov 7, 2008

It's tough to see so much pain, no matter what your age. Oncology is a very difficult specialty with a high burnout rate. You should definitely consider changing job or unit. Try to get out and make some friends and relax in your off-time. I don't think being only 22 is an issue unless you think it is, most new nurses are in that age group. You do have a lot more responsibility than some of your peers in other fields, but you chose a profession that involves a lot of responsibilty.

alkaleidi · Nov 7, 2008

In a hospital setting, we nurses quickly get used to seeing "sick" people. Especially when it comes to aging and older adults, we typically don't get to see the ones that are aging gracefully. One thing you must keep in mind is that not ever 65+ person has HTN, DM, CHF, and a history of at least 1 MI or CVA. It's so refreshing to take care of a 90 year old patient that has NO medical history, and the most serious surgery they've had might have been a tonsillectomy or an appendectomy way back in the day. Don't let your view of health get distorted by your role as a nurse. We take care of sick people in the hospital.

I live with my boyfriend too. I'm 27... but if I had found him at age 22, you bet I'd be under the same roof. My grandma is 79 and flies to TX every winter to stay in her summer home -- they ride their bikes across the border several days a week.. go to the beach.. she walks at least a mile several times a week when she's home here in IL. Not every old person is sick and unable to care for themselves. Don't get discouraged!!!

L&DWannabe · Nov 7, 2008

While I do believe maturity level has more to do with one's personality than age- age can't be dis-counted.

Age and life experience will give you a tougher hide. Depending upon one's life experiences leading up to becoming a nurse at 22- one may NOT be ready for the overwhelming challenges of leadership and the suffering that comes with it. I am 23- and I can say that I am GLAD I won't be a nurse for a few more years- I know I am would not have been tough enough to take all of the stress at 22. At 18 I was a retail manager, and I actually cried when customers would yell at me. Would I do that today- 5 years later?? No way!!!! I have learned much better to stand up for myself and just the extra years of life have made me tougher.

Also- If your social circle is made up of young college students still living the party life- your life in contrast WILL seem beyond your years- however, you have worked HARD to get where you are. And although it may be tempting to wish you were them, to wish you could just relax and not have such a serious job at a young age- think about it. Do you really want to backtrack in life? Aren't you proud of yourself for becoming a RESPONSIBLE contributing person in society?

No sculpture will ever save someone's life. YOU make a difference. As far as oncology goes- maybe you took a step too far into nursing- you probably aren't ready for that field. Have you looked into a more positive field of nursing? Med/surg? Post-partum? Even being a School nurse! Keep looking and don't give up! If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed- you probably are. That doesn't mean you're not a good nurse- but you are in a little to deep. You may be surprised that in 5-10 years you may return and have no problem with oncology. :up: