I'm sorry, but some nursing diagnoses are just ridiculous!

[klone]

Ineffective denial...as opposed to EFFECTIVE denial?

Disturbed energy field

Impaired environmental interpretation syndrome

Health-seeking behaviors (the horror!)

Impaired home maintenance (I'm guilty of that one! If only I could do a collaborative intervention with Merry Maids)

Ineffective protection

Noncompliance

Wandering

Some of these just made me chuckle, and made me wonder about the people who come up with them.

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

"Does not adhere" sounds like a Band-Aid that isn't sticky anymore.

[Fiona59]

I hate the term "client". I always think it makes us sound like high class call girls.

As in "I had a six bed assignment last night with five clients".

[Marie_LPN, RN, LPN, RN]

I hear 'client', i think of Hair Club for Men.

"And i'm not only the club president, but i'm also a client!"

[RN4NICU, LPN, LVN]

We were also told not to use the term "compliant" because it sounded to negative. The new pc term we were told to use is "does not adhere"

Nothing like nursing texts and instructors to make too big a deal over semantics. Does not adhere and noncompliant mean the exact same thing - the patient is not doing what he/she is supposed to do. Actually, I think "does not adhere" just makes the nurse sound like he/she doesn't know the term "noncompliant". And I agree with Marie, it sounds like a cheap-o bandaid, not a patient.

[EarthChild1130]

I asked an instructor today exactly how one goes about gathering subjective data, implementing, and evaluating a care plan for somebody with a 'disturbed energy field', and the teacher accused me of 'making fun of NANDA'

Seriously, how in the WORLD does that fly in your focus notes??

[DCCCRN2Bn05]

A classmate and I, (now 8weeks from ADN) have made it our goal to one day earn our master's degree so we can write our book entitled "Nursing Diagnosis: for the real world" It won't have alot of those silly ones, but the ones you would really use on the floor. Our favorite is a quote by our best instructor "High risk for Dead"

[sun1shine1]

I've actually used disturbed energy field. We had to do this crazy case study our first semester, and we had to include 12 (TWELVE) nsg dx. After about 5 or 6 on my guy who was only in for an open reduction following a fx @ work, I was really grasping for straws. It was the last one I picked after readiness for enhanced fluid balance and readiness for enhanced nutrition.

Our class always comes up with T-shirts at the end of each semester, and last semester (Med-Surg 2 - NURS 355) we wrote nsg dx for us and our teachers.

Top 3 Nursing Dx. For 355 Instructors

Chronic Tinnitus r/t constant whining of 355 students

Fear r/t having the same crazy students again next semester

Fatigue r/t constantly having to repeat the same information

Top 5 Nursing Dx. For 355 Students

Pain, Acute (Glutteal): r/t 8 hr lectures

Disturbed Body Image r/t frumpy white uniforms

Ineffective Coping r/t failing unit test

Fear r/t repeating 355 next semester

Hypothermia r/t classroom of 50 degrees

Our teachers were so proud that we actually got the r/t's right!

Ash

[MedicalZebra]

I saw that word on a chart hanging next to the scale at my dialysis unit... I guess the ward secretary got tired of seeing 'noncomplaint' instead of 'noncompliant' on the paperwork! :)

Now if they could just come up with a different word for 'dialysis'... the first syllable in that word is DIE! That's pretty scary to hear three or four hundred times a week during treatment!

[Mission]

I work in a QM department at an MCO, noncompliant is the doc's favorite reason/excuse for failing quality audits. I know a lot of times it is true. The all-time best one I ever saw though was "Patient's mother stole medical chart". Score that NCQA!

[lilbiskit78]

Hi everyone! I agree that quite a few NANDAs are silly! No, I have never diagnosed anyone with a disturbed energy field, even though I probably could around test time! HA! I noticed that Ineffective Protection was on the list and thought I would mention that I used it for a careplan the other day. It has nothing to do with not having a bodyguard! HA, ha, okay, cheesy, I know! It is actually about the inability to protect the body from stuff invading or from bleeding, ie not enough WBCs (chemo, cancer) or not enough platelets, RBCs, ect. I was shocked to use it, but it fit for a pt.w/genetic disorder & missing a clotting factor! First time in 2 years I got to use that one; thank goodness, seems like I write the same 'ole careplans every week.

Lil

[BETSRN]

Hi everyone! I agree that quite a few NANDAs are silly! No, I have never diagnosed anyone with a disturbed energy field, even though I probably could around test time! HA! I noticed that Ineffective Protection was on the list and thought I would mention that I used it for a careplan the other day. It has nothing to do with not having a bodyguard! HA, ha, okay, cheesy, I know! It is actually about the inability to protect the body from stuff invading or from bleeding, ie not enough WBCs (chemo, cancer) or not enough platelets, RBCs, ect. I was shocked to use it, but it fit for a pt.w/genetic disorder & missing a clotting factor! First time in 2 years I got to use that one; thank goodness, seems like I write the same 'ole careplans every week.

Lil

What happened to the old standby "Potential for Infection" ? The way I see it, nursing diagnoses are the things made up by those professors of nursing who haven't seen a bedside in 30 years! Some of these new ones I am hearing about are even more ridiculous than before.

[chimama]

I have always maintained that there is no such thing as a "nursing diagnosis" This entity was created by those who live in the land of NANDA, speak nursespeak,and will not accept the fact that a "nursing care plan" is just and always has been a silly little piece of paper work compliance!