I'm sure many of the people on this site have at one time been struggling to make ends meet, while on the road to becoming a nurse, but I feel I am at my wit's end.
I have been on my own since 16. My dad dropped me off on a corner the day I was legally able to work (in November!!), and said I could call him when I had a job. Have been working full-time since, and have never been able to make it without credit cards, or enjoy my youth. When I was younger than 16, he would call me names and beat me up if I wanted something like a Dr. visit or shoes. I had two years of savings- nearly 7,000 in McDonald's wages. He emptied my account right before I was supposed to start college and bought some leather furnature, and used the rest toward a Lexus SUV.
The funny part is- my dad's a multi-millionare. He owns one of the largest CPA firms in his state, and he keeps rubbing it in my face that he has been a success in life and I haven't. It seems every few months he is taking some exotic vacation to Egypt, or whatever.
I am now 15k in debt, and I don't want to take out more loans, but despirately want to be a nurse. I am pretty much obsessed with it. I tried to go the cheap CC route, but my mom tossed the letter in the trash when my number came up. I don't live w/ her, but she insisted all school mail be sent to her.
I am also engaged, but wedding planning isn't going well. Everyone wants to come, but no one wants to help pay. I keep talking about eloping, but my family says that is "selfish.":bugeyes:
Its all just piling up! I think this is a literal panic attack. I can't talk to anyone about this stuff, b/c some of it is just not believable. My life is stranger than fiction. Please, someone offer me some emotional support!
I'm not looking from any financial support from them- I am too old for that. I just want a sense of normalcy. It kills me when I see residents' family visit. They just seem so normal and accepting. We can't even fake normal.
Hi, I have some advice for getting money for school. You need to complete a FAFSA application, that will allow you to get loans/grants from the federal government. Depending on how much you make, you may receive grants that you don't pay back. You can also get loans with a low fixed interest rate. You will not have to begin paying these back until 6 months after you graduate. However, if you are under a certain age, it believe its 24, they go by what your parents make. This will hurt you if your dad is a millionaire. I've known a lot of people who are independent from their parents that have been unable to get money because of their parents making too much. I'm not sure what to do about this, but if you get married, then it will go by your income, not your parents! You could always contact a hospital and see if they have a program where they will pay for your schooling. You usually have to work for them after you graduate for as long as they pay for your school. Example if they pay for 2 years of school, you'll be required to work for them for 2 years. I would recommend trying to find funds elsewhere before doing that, however, so you are free to work where you want when you get out, and some facillities will pay those loans off. Good luck with everything, you WILL make it through this!
The age of "mandatory", so to speak, dependency ends at 18, not 24. Her parent's income won't matter even if her dad's name is Donald Trump. Once you turn 19, you have to submit proof to the school that you are still a dependent of your parents (i.e., they still claim you on their tax returns) every year; the option to remain a dependent ends at 23, sometimes 24.
But if she's 24, and her parents no longer claim her as a dependent on their tax returns, she's considered independent. I've never heard of independent adults having their parent's returns used to determine federal aid, and I used to work in a financial aid office for a university. Federal loan guidelines are the same, nationwide, regardless of what state you live in.
I do have a BS, which I got b/c and degree BSN's were less competitive, and it was a degree I could complete in a year to put in another app, with no success.
This sentence makes no sense to me. I don't understand what you're saying here.
This sentence makes no sense to me. I don't understand what you're saying here.
Mulan- Ok, I'll clarify, b/c there were some typos in that post that made it not make sense. I had all the basic classes like a&p and english, etc. done. I had taken so many pre-reqs for so many schools that I had gen eds completed and was at the jr level credit-wise. I applied to a university BSN program and was denied. They told me to look through the catalogue to find any degree that I could finish in one year, so that I could reapply next year as a 2nd degree applicant. I did that, reapplied and didn't get in as a 2nd degree applicant. What I did made sense at the time, but now it is just another year of debt.
i had two years of savings- nearly 7,000 in mcdonald's wages. he emptied my account right before i was supposed to start college and bought some leather furnature, and used the rest toward a lexus suv.
the funny part is- my dad's a multi-millionare. he owns one of the largest cpa firms in his state, and he keeps rubbing it in my face that he has been a success in life and i haven't. it seems every few months he is taking some exotic vacation to egypt, or whatever.
i tried to go the cheap cc route, but my mom tossed the letter in the trash when my number came up. i don't live w/ her, but she insisted all school mail be sent to her.
i am also engaged, but wedding planning isn't going well. everyone wants to come, but no one wants to help pay. i keep talking about eloping, but my family says that is "selfish.":bugeyes:
my life is stranger than fiction. please, someone offer me some emotional support!
i have to be totally honest with you. your life is stranger than fiction.
#1 you need therapy with a qualified mental health professional
#2 once you get your self-esteem back you need to sue your father and
rub his face in the local newspapers!
#3 don't get married with all these problems and please don't bring a
child into this world until you've completed therapy.
#4 don't inviite the parents to the wedding. they don't deserve you. you
don't have to respect anyone simply because they are genetically
related. i don't call your father a dad much less a human being.
good luck hon and don't give up your dream of becoming a nurse!
I'm not looking from any financial support from them- I am too old for that. I just want a sense of normalcy. It kills me when I see residents' family visit. They just seem so normal and accepting. We can't even fake normal.
Honey, you're never going to have family normalcy. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you will be able to formulate and follow a plan for your own fulfillment in life. Quit seeking their acceptance. It's not coming.
My family was loving, but equally dysfunctional. Funny, I also moved 500 miles from home, and ended up in your fair city. Maybe its the water here. It really is a good place to make a fresh start. Godspeed!
Specializes in Trauma,ER,CCU/OHU/Nsg Ed/Nsg Research.
CNA- Personally, I believe you. Your parents seem to be a chaotic force in your life. Having controlling parents can also cause one to make life decisions as an adult that may seem to lack direction.
It doesn't mean you can't love them, but you may have to restrict contact with them if you're ever going to be able to make it through nursing school. Also, I think most of us here can tell you that therapy is great for helping to clear your head of the junk that distracts you from reaching your goals.
Think of it this way: you'll probably make a great nurse, because you're used to having to deal with chaos, and quickly change you plans accordingly. Use this to your advantage.
I believe you, because I was pretty much where you are when I was 24. It's almost uncanny, really. But, I had an "Aha" moment during that time, which was actually brought on by panic when faced by the reality of my situation. Maybe that's where you are. Sometimes a good dose of that can cause us to make the changes we need in our lives to get things together, and take out the garbage, so to speak.
My life is great now- it really is. If I can do it, you can too. But you're going to need more support that can be found here. A really good therapist can work wonders.
cna- personally, i believe you. i believe you, because i was pretty much where you are when i was 24.
cna - i totally believe you and hopefully you didn't read into it that i don't. i just wanted to be honest and agree with you that your life is stranger than fiction. it doesn't mean for a minute that i don't believe you. i wouldn't have responded if i didn't. i sincerely wish you the best. :redbeathe
Wow. If ever there was a case for calling CPS, that was it.
See if you can talk to a lawyer about recovering some of the money your father took from you. Also, in many states parents were legally required to pay for at least part of a child's education as long as it did not cause severe financial distress to the parents. Not sure if this is still true or not.
In some states, charges of abuse during childhood can be retroactive, even if the child is an adult. Look into it. And get therapy. You've got so much on your plate right now.
Wow. If ever there was a case for calling CPS, that was it.
See if you can talk to a lawyer about recovering some of the money your father took from you. Also, in many states parents were legally required to pay for at least part of a child's education as long as it did not cause severe financial distress to the parents. Not sure if this is still true or not.
In some states, charges of abuse during childhood can be retroactive, even if the child is an adult. Look into it. And get therapy. You've got so much on your plate right now.
I am considering this, but I think CPS would have a difficult time gathering evidence. I really have no proof of any of this, other than scarring on my eardrums from not getting adequate care, I don't think that alone is enough to build a case. It would just be hearsay, or would CPS just take my word for it?
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CNAinNeb
152 Posts
I'm not looking from any financial support from them- I am too old for that. I just want a sense of normalcy. It kills me when I see residents' family visit. They just seem so normal and accepting. We can't even fake normal.