I'm a nurse and I don't like people.

[addylpn]

I went into nursing because I wanted a stable job with decent pay. I also wanted to be able to help people. I'm a compassionate person, but I'm also very introverted. In other words, people suck the life out of me.

The longer I work in this field, the more I realize that I don't care for people much. Not necessarily my patients but other nurses, management, family members of patients, etc. I find most people to be backstabbing, selfish jerks. The blame game runs rampant.

I take awesome care of my patients, they are the only ones who get a pass when they are mean or grouchy towards me but it's the others that I can't stand.

I relish in my time alone, with my boyfriend and dogs. I get invited to work stuff but rarely go because I can't stand the fakeness. I don't have a lot of friends and it doesn't bother me in the least. I like to be alone in my thoughts.

I feel that most people nowadays only care about themselves and I don't even care to get to know them. I probably sound like a complete cynic but I really try to be a good person. Often to the extent that I get completely screwed. My job is my only social life because its enough socializing for me.

Am I the only one that feels this way?

Will I survive nursing?

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

I'm not sure how you have been managing so far, but, as someone else said...you seem to be doing fine. I just started a new job and can't seem to escape talking to people. I'd love to just give yes and no answers and ask few questions...but it doesn't work. You have to ask questions when you are a new hire. Even with a lot of experience, each facility does things a little differently. Also, the patients/residents are all new to you. I really don't know whether I lean introvert or extrovert. Maybe I am in the middle. Yes,...that must be it. However, I do agree there is a lot of backstabbing that can go on. I tend to try to distance myself and talk little about my own personal matters and life these days, but it doesn't always work completely. I think when you are at a job a long time, you learn who to trust and become a little more relaxed around at least some of your co-workers.

[NursesRmofun, ASN, RN]

Libby1987 said:

What do you all mean by fake? I'm thinking now if I see any fakeness in my coworkers and I'm not coming up with anything.

I can think of a couple things. Overstating the amt of work a person has and not doing the work they are supposed to do and taking credit for it.

[JustaGypsy]

No Stars In My Eyes said:

You know, I am an extroverted introvert; I'm quite animated and outgoing at work, but my time is my time. I don't do a lot of socializing either; groups and crowds suck the life out of me when I'd rather just stay at home with hubby and the dogs. At least with AN I get to socialize quietly, and at my leisure.

I really love most of my patients but after spending 12 hours with my attention turned outward, I'm happy to get home. I rarely attend anything if I can help it!

Edited to add: I used to work a hospital float pool so I'd not be assigned the same floor with the same patients and personnel. Home Health full-time Week-ends was good that way, too; not so much of the stultifying sameness day-to-day.

You took the words right out of my mouth, with the exception of work history. I did Float Pool, and ER. Home Health sucked the life from my very core.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Libby1987 said:

What do you all mean by fake? I'm thinking now if I see any fakeness in my coworkers and I'm not coming up with anything.

NursesRmofun said:

I can think of a couple things. Overstating the amt of work a person has and not doing the work they are supposed to do and taking credit for it.

I think the being "fake" under discussion was the faking cheerfulness, friendliness and an outgoing personality. Saying "Good morning! How did little Sammy do in his Little League game?" when you're cranky and don't give a flying fig about little Sammy or his softball career. Chitchatting with Martha about her 7 children, six of whom you're sure are little hellions and the seventh is still to be determined when you detest Martha AND her offspring.

Not everyone who asks you how your mother did after her hernia repair really cares, and not everyone who is SOOO happy to see you at shift change means it in any way personally.

[canigraduate]

I used to work in customer service, and I can say nursing is no where near as bad. Except for the phone calls. I still hate phone calls. I answered the phone in a call center for a summer while I was in college and now I don't answer the phone unless I absolutely have to. I will email or text a person 12 times before I call them.

I've always been a little introverted, with "company manners." I can fake being extroverted long enough to get me through a shift, most days.

I am probably one of the "fake" people, mainly because I really don't care how your day is going, I just don't want to get called into the manager's office for not being cheerful or helpful enough.

[addylpn]

This makes me feel so good to know that I am not alone out there! People are different, introvertion is finally coming to the forefront and is becoming more accepted. My mother, an extrovert, used to make me feel guilty about myself: "stop being so antisocial", "you need to come out of your shell". In the last few years, I've finally begun to accept myself for who I am. If you are happy, no matter what situation you are in, never feel inferior. The world would be so boring if everyone was the same.

As for work, I know some of my co-workers are trying to pick my brain, find out why I mostly keep to myself. They feel as though they need to solve this mystery or think I must be "hiding something". It's frustrating. I just want to be helpful, be efficient, give good patient care and then...go home!

As for the fakeness, I see the friendships between my coworkers (introverts are VERY observant) and I see how one minute they are buddy buddy and then the next they are talking smack about each other. I mean terrible, terrible things are said. It makes me feel even more reluctant to become close to people if this is how it is. I just really don't want to be involved.

My wish is for one day people become more aware of introvertion. Realize that this person is not cold, stuck up, antisocial or weird. They are just themselves.

[No Stars In My Eyes]

I'm not antisocial, but I am pretty much kinda-sorta asocial. Just not in the selfish, unscrupulous definition of the word.

(Well, maybe a little selfish .)

[vpbernal]

I'm glad I'm not the only one! ? same here!

[MereSanity]

That's why I work OR...my patients are all asleep.

[PS0812]

Case Management does not always involve being in a clinical setting. The insurance industry hires case managers. One can either work in claims or in underwriting (evaluating medical records/risk of those applying for insurance; quoting rated ages). How about occupational/industrial nursing? How about working for the state reviewing nursing homes? Oil and gas extraction companies hire nurses (jobs can be scarce). Learn to do Medicare Set Asides and work either for an insurance company or a vendor. Get your certification in Life Care Planning (LCP) - you can either be self-employed or work for a LCP company. There are a multitude of availabilities for nurses outside the clinical setting. Good luck to you!

[NurseKey622]

You are not alone! I work two jobs: My main job is school nursing. The pay is less than other jobs, but you get your own office away from other people besides the kids. Occasionally, the teachers might come in there, but you will have your own space to work and you can organize it how you like. Plus you get holidays, weekends, and SUMMER VACATION!

For my second job, I work PRN in LTC. I make my own schedule and I work different halls, so I don't have the same residents every single day. I used to work this job full time, 5 days a week, 8 or 9 hour shifts depending on how crazy it was. It drained the life out of me and I just wanted to sleep on my off days to get my energy back. But I absolutely love working PRN. During the summer when I am not working the school job, I try to work 2 or 3 days a week in the nursing home. So I have lots of extra time at home with the hubby and furbabies :) Good luck to you!

[NurseKey622]

Didn't mean to post this second comment... oops!