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I'm Not Flaky, Lazy, Or Stupid...

Disabilities Article   (53,151 Views | 155 Replies | 2,344 Words)

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I have ADHD. Not the cool Tom Cruise/Ty Pennington kind, where you can act out and make lots of money, either. I have the kind where people label you as stupid, flaky, and lazy. I wanted people to have an idea of how it feels to never be in control of your own life. To get a glimpse of the nightmare of doing your best, and never, ever being good enough. You are reading page 13 of I'm Not Flaky, Lazy, Or Stupid.... If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

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Another ability I have found is "bending time and space" (as I call it). Time has no meaning to me so when I get there, I get there.

But I can also exhibit great patients. I had promised my grandfather that I would take care of my grandmother for him right before he passed. I was 6. It was a promise I kept for 35 years, with her when she passed.

"Bending time and space" also lets me remember everything (although I can't always recall it). Just like giving Glycerine82's cat a bath....

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I have problems with memory and retaining information I have learn't. I am currently studying to be a nurse and often feel down about myself because I want to do well in life, I don't want to sit on welfare like all the lazy bums out there. I know I am not very smart and it takes me longer to process information and retain it like my fellow classmates. Lol it took me 3 times to get a clinical procedure correct because I got it muddled up I felt so incompetent. My nursing lecturer even said I may not get through the course this really got me down but she was being honest. Despite being slow with clinicial prac I have managed to score average and above with my theory work, should I continue my nursing.

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3 Articles; 2,107 Posts; 35,476 Profile Views

I have problems with memory and retaining information I have learn't. I am currently studying to be a nurse and often feel down about myself because I want to do well in life, I don't want to sit on welfare like all the lazy bums out there. I know I am not very smart and it takes me longer to process information and retain it like my fellow classmates. Lol it took me 3 times to get a clinical procedure correct because I got it muddled up I felt so incompetent. My nursing lecturer even said I may not get through the course this really got me down but she was being honest. Despite being slow with clinicial prac I have managed to score average and above with my theory work, should I continue my nursing.

It sounds like you are very down on yourself and you have some self-defeating ideation.

My advice would be to work on your self confidence. Believe that you can master the skills. You will be right more often than not.

As far as continuing in nursing, that is entirely up to you. No one can make that decision for you. If it is worth it to you to put in the extra effort it will take to catch up and excel, then continue. If it is not worth it to you, then quit.

A few practical suggestions:

1) Make use of the skills lab whenever it is open and practice. Do the skill until you are comfortable with it.

2) It sounds like you may have performance anxiety. Block out the observer and just do what you know to do.

3) Go on YouTube and look for instructional videos of the skills you need to pass and practice.

4) Practice, practice, practice!

5) Get with the instructor who said you may not pass, find out why not, and correct those issues.

If you are passing theory with above average marks, then you are plenty smart. Stop sabotaging yourself.

Good luck!

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Animal House R.N. has 23 years experience as a ADN, CNA, LVN and specializes in Geriatircs/Rural Hospitals.

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Thank you for this article. I have been told not to be so open with my adhd. I still have issues with feeling I am not doing my best. I am so lucky I found my husband. He calls my ability to go back to a conversation from much earlier left turn off the freeway. I drive him crazy over the car keys, I amaze him over my abilities to multitasks with our teenage girls. My bosses have told me I am an excellant nurse, organized ( I laughed at this), and I deal with everything with calm, driven ability. Yes the bluntness gets us in trouble. But I've come to the realization, that me being me is good. I'm blunt, cannot read social cues, and have higher standards that I have hold everybody to and that is ok.

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Great post and great compassionate responses.

I was put in advanced classes in 3rd grade and was artistically gifted since childhood yet never knew what was going on when everybody else did.. Could not be on time to save my life. I especially get the posters who talk about time. My relationship with time remains adversarial. Think, "Who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot for Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks fell on their heads every day for the next decade(Alan Ginsberg)."

I spent much of my life acting out various addictions. I got completely clean in 2007 but have not gained the ability to focus in "real time." I am able to hyper-focus on complex tasks but run a multi-kid household with great difficulty. My brain either makes long leaps at lightning speed or it is stuck on stupid flatlined, there is not a lot of in between. I got A's through nursing school barely studying at all but could not follow a conversation with my peers. It is isolating for me. I have mild social deficits, perhaps am on autism spectrum like my youngest son who has ADHD and what was formerly termed Asperger's.

After about 18 months at a mental health center with a great doctor and therapist, I accepted a prescription for Adderral for ADD...I had a huge resistance to the idea and a fear of the medication for my son and myself. After 3 years of urging from his school, I gave him medication at the age of 11. I finally tried medication myself at the age of 45.

I only gave it to my son for school. I only used mine to write papers...the night before they were due of course. I have had a full bottle for three months now. I never use it because I feel it blows out my nervous system, causing me fatigue the next day. I took my son off it because I am afraid of messing with his developing brain. Not very trusting of the medical establishment, I admit. I struggle tremendously with attention issues and so does he.

It is somehow comforting to read about this issue in the contexts in which they are presented in this thread. I applaud you and all of us who strive despite attention deficit disorders. It is good to have a real discussion about ADHD.

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WKShadowNP has 19 years experience as a DNP, APRN and specializes in Hospital medicine; NP precepting; staff education.

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I had to stop my adderall because of going into SVT. I have several strategies to be able to survive. But my mind feels like google chrome open with 126 tabs all at once.

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3 Articles; 2,107 Posts; 35,476 Profile Views

I had to stop my adderall because of going into SVT. I have several strategies to be able to survive. But my mind feels like google chrome open with 126 tabs all at once.

Huh. That explains why I like you so much.

;)

So, I apparently am not getting notifications (or I didn't notice the last two posts). Heh. Sorry for the late response.

So, I totally stopped taking meds again. Have you ever seen that Richard Gere movie where he is bipolar and doesn't take his meds so he can feel like himself?

I am having that kind of conundrum at the moment. I like being able to focus on what I'm supposed to focus on, but I hate the increased anxiety and the zombie-ness. Ugh. Maybe we should have an ADHD commune with neuronormal caretakers, so somebody remembers to get the milk (and put it in the fridge instead of leaving it in the car).

ETA: So, I like saying so, apparently.

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19 Posts; 850 Profile Views

Omg. I can totally relate. I've struggled with ADD my whole life. This is a humorous, beautifully written, courageous post!

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SororAKS has 12 years experience as a ADN, RN and specializes in ER, ICU/CCU, Open Heart OR Recovery, Etc.

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Thank you, guys! Your support means a lot to me. Y'all made me cry good tears.

I have worked out routines and strategies, with backups upon backups, that help me navigate life pretty well. I have learned that other people's expectations are not always my problem.

I have learned to accept my limitations, and how to move on gracefully when I have exceeded the limitations of my employer's tolerance.

I hope that someone reads this and it helps them to know that they aren't alone in this struggle. And maybe a few will read this and realize that they aren't lazy, flaky, or stupid, either.

This is an old post, but the points are salient.

This echoes a lot of what my husband goes through and experienced earlier in his life. He is a bit older than you, and his parents just thought it was "him".

Thank goodness there is more understanding about these issues today. My hat is off to you, to my husband, and to the many others out there who deal with it every minute of every day.

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3 Articles; 2,107 Posts; 35,476 Profile Views

This is an old post, but the points are salient.

This echoes a lot of what my husband goes through and experienced earlier in his life. He is a bit older than you, and his parents just thought it was "him".

Thank goodness there is more understanding about these issues today. My hat is off to you, to my husband, and to the many others out there who deal with it every minute of every day.

Thank you! That means a lot!

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WKShadowNP has 19 years experience as a DNP, APRN and specializes in Hospital medicine; NP precepting; staff education.

1 Article; 2,077 Posts; 22,335 Profile Views

Hello again, ADD thread.

I'm considering stopping my medication but terrified because I will be embarking in a brand new and advanced practice role for the first time and I will be continuing my education towards a terminal degree (eventually I want to teach/mentor, long way down the road...and I want to get my higher education out of the way before my kids start college, which is just around the corner.)

I have to revisit this and determine what the best steps will be. I'm glad to know I"m not alone.

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337 Posts; 4,060 Profile Views

Great article. My only comment (speaking from experience) is don't hide your disability, be open and communicate about it with co-workers, bosses etc. But also provide way in which they can accommodate you so that you can be successful. For example maybe it is okay for them to ask every 5 minutes if you did something they needed you to do. Whereas that would be seen as rude if the person did not have ADHD etc. Maybe at the Nurses station they can have a clipboard for you where they write down things for you to do or messages etc. Or people can text you with requests/reminders instead of a verbal request.

If your employer is aware of the disability you are also protected under the ADA and entitled to reasonable accommodations.

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