I'm so embarrassed

Published

Yesterday, I had a patient who looked so much like my ex-big-crush. And, I was blushing all over my face when I was giving him a bath. I feel horrible. It was non-professional. I just wanted to have a hole and bury myself in there!!!! What's worse? He made me give him a bath twice during my 12-hour shift. I didn't know I could have told him that I don't give a bath twice. I think he sensed that I was ... so, he took advantage of that. I was too noob a tech!!! Worse, other nurses sensed that. Even tho they don't say a thing, I know they knew that. I feel horrible. Plus, I was hyper-excited today coming to work because I learned that my clinical site for my coming rotation in school is going to be an awesome place. The nurses look at me very strangely. I'm afraid they may think that I was becoming hyper-excited because of the incident. I just wanted to die!!!!

Ottawarn And the the women who are into submission, S&M etc evidently represent the majority of females as well. If a male was making these type of sexist comments and stereotyping females they would be roasted. Are we to also to assume since naughty nurse is a popular halloween costume that all nurses want to be treated as a sex object with loose morals. Of course not, the majority of your male patients are not looking for cheap thrills from nurses the ages of their daughters anymore than the majority of nurses are "naughty nurses". Sexism is sexism, if you can't even see how wrong this is, I feel sorry for your male patients that you see them as a bunch of pervs. So much for compassion and treating all patients as equals...sad. Would you tell you patients or hospital administrations you believe such. If you truely believe this, do you beleive you can truely treat your middle age "perv patients" unbiased. Are all African Americans atheletes, because there sure are a lot of them playing pro sports, where did that come from?

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Well, nursingishard,

you are a human being. With human feelings. AND, you are attempting to deal with your discomfort. You're doing this through admitting it, airing it out, and seeking advice.

However. Two baths in one shift? That may indicate an inability to control your actions. Or obsessive-compulsive behavior. Whether it be on your part or the part of the patient is unknown.

Keep monitoring those behaviors. And continue to seek enlightenment.

Dave

:confused: OCD? Didn't the patient ask for the 2nd bath?

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Specializes in Hospice / Psych / RNAC.
tyvin, I can not believe you would make such a sexist statement. I am a NORMAL-MATURE-HETEROSEXUAL-MALE and I assure you being forced to have a young woman bath me in a hospital is hardly a fantasy for me or I can assure you many men. None of my fantasies take place with me being helpless or in a hospital. How would you feel about a statement like the majority of women are terrible drivers, or the majority of women are to emotional to be good leaders. There are numerous blogs including two by a Dr. Bernstein and a Dr. Sherman about patients, including male patients who have concern for their modesty in medical situations. The poster who started this thread was obviously concerned and embaressed by the situation, its understandable, it happens, learn from it. But to classify the MAJORITY OF NORMAL MATURE HETEROSEXUAL MALES as getting their kicks in these situations, why not just say the majority of mature males are pervs looking for cheap thrills. We are not there for cheap thrills, we are there becasue we are sick or injured. Sexism isn't exclusive to one gender.

Who said anything about being forced?

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Specializes in acute care med/surg, LTC, orthopedics.
Ottawarn And the the women who are into submission, S&M etc evidently represent the majority of females as well. If a male was making these type of sexist comments and stereotyping females they would be roasted. Are we to also to assume since naughty nurse is a popular halloween costume that all nurses want to be treated as a sex object with loose morals. Of course not, the majority of your male patients are not looking for cheap thrills from nurses the ages of their daughters anymore than the majority of nurses are "naughty nurses". Sexism is sexism, if you can't even see how wrong this is, I feel sorry for your male patients that you see them as a bunch of pervs. So much for compassion and treating all patients as equals...sad. Would you tell you patients or hospital administrations you believe such. If you truely believe this, do you beleive you can truely treat your middle age "perv patients" unbiased. Are all African Americans atheletes, because there sure are a lot of them playing pro sports, where did that come from?

Submission, S&M? Whoa, quite the leap you made there, buddy. Amusing, at best. This discussion also has nothing to do with how I treat my male patients but nice attempt to deflect on your part.

You made a statement that Tyvin's sexy bath comment was sexist and I reminded you that this stereotype was created and perpetuated by men meaning... if you have a problem with it, then take it up with your own species.

I don't know of one single female nurse who doesn't find the naughty nurse stereotype to be offensive and demeaning, so where you get this idea that it's a popular Halloween costume is strictly in your own mind. Remember that it is a creation made by *your gender* for the purpose of sexual gratification and fodder for Media flicks created by *your gender*. Get the point?

Maybe you don't want to admit it gets your rocks off, but many other men will.

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Ottawarn. If you go back and read my post I said "of course not" regarding nurses and the naughty nurse costume. (By the way I was recently at a halloween party where a young RN dressed the naughty nurse for kicks) I would also like to know exactly how you determined the naughty nurse was developed by men as a group rather than a or a small minority of men and promoted by the entertainment industry. How do you know it was not started by a female or females, nursing or not. My point is simply taking something like this and applying it to all men or the majority of men is sexist and wrong. It is the type of thinking that is the basis nearly any prejudice. I would think women who have been on the recieving end of more than their share of sterotyping and discrimination would recognize this. How different is this than what your male coworkers have to deal with in the concept that male nurses can't be trusted around female patients becasue of course men are just pervs. It's not fair nor valid to apply that to male nurses, its not fair or valid to apply that to male patients. Let me ask you and I hope you will be honest with me and yourself. Have you ever had a fantasy, have you ever had a fantasy about a patient. Do you act on them, how many many married men and women have had fantasy's about someone else, but when the opportunity presented itself ran for the hills. Even if your contentions are true, that many men have a fantasy about a young nurse giving them a bath (I still disagree) there is a huge difference between what someone may fantasize at home or infront of theTV and what kind of thoughts are going through their head when they are sick or injured in the hospital. If they are in the physical condiction where a nurse has to bath them, I would assume they are pretty ill or severly injured not real conducive to fantasies much less acting on them. The original poster asked, she got some good advice from several people about how to deal with this, how to avoid it, and what to do about addressing her current concerns. I hope she listens to them, learns from them, and doesn't become negatively impacted by the negative stereotyping. After all, would you want a reader to take away the majority of nurses get off on bathing men and her mistake was the norm. I guess we will have to agree to disagree, but I still feel sorry for patients who are treated by someone who has such low opinions of them.

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He made me give him a bath twice during my 12-hour shift. !!!

Really dear?He made you? You sneaky person, you:lol2:

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Specializes in MPH Student Fall/14, Emergency, Research.
When my pt hit me, it was my fault. It's not until my nurse came in the room and said to my patient that it was inappropriate for her to hit me that I realize that patient cannot hit me.

Are you serious? It was your fault? Please see the thread about how many nurses are abused in the workplace. It's because actions like this one are enabling the abusers.

Please, learn YOUR rights - or more of your patients could (will?) abuse you and others.

Assertiveness is a wonderful thing.

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Really dear?He made you? You sneaky person, you:lol2:

oh yeah? thx for judging the PAST ME.

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Are you serious? It was your fault? Please see the thread about how many nurses are abused in the workplace. It's because actions like this one are enabling the abusers.

Please, learn YOUR rights - or more of your patients could (will?) abuse you and others.

Assertiveness is a wonderful thing.

love you. always learn about pt's rights. now I've learned about my rights. thx.

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If things are becoming 'non professional' then there is a problem. If you think the patient is getting some sort of sexual gratification out of being bathed then it's time to do something about it. If he's capable of washing himself, yet requests you do it for him then you need to make it clear to him that his expectations are inappropriate and inform the nurse in charge of what is going on.

Seriously, I've always been doing more than I have to. I gave a whole cart of water for patient's family members along with ice creams and snacks, etc. I've always done more than what I have to. When my pt hit me, it was my fault. It's not until my nurse came in the room and said to my patient that it was inappropriate for her to hit me that I realize that patient cannot hit me. I think I've been a martyr. When my pt scolded me for no reasons, I just cried. When an old man tried to give me his engagement words, I just became silent and sobbing. And, I went home and I hated myself because I'm just a tech. That's why he dared to say his stupid and ignorant engagement words to me. I've been depreciated. I didn't know that I can say "no" to my customers. I've learned that I can say "no" to not only customers but also their family members. I think I've had enough of self-criticisms. I'm dealing with everything in my life right now: I'm living alone in a place where friends are too busy to be friends, all my friends are in the East, and not in the health care field, nursing school is so demanding. I thank you all for your support.

about the my pt. He said he itchy and wet all over his body and he couldn't move his body when I assessed his musculoskeletal system. He begged me for another bath. Yet, he could move when my nurse was there. I didn't know that. My nurse didn't tell me that he could move until I reported to her that I had given him 2 baths.

Yes. I was my fault to let this guy control me. I'll be in control again.

Yes. I tried to laugh it off by becoming super excited (plus the fact that I've just learned that my new clinical site is at a super nice place) yesterday. Hopefully, it had gone away. But then when I tried to laugh it off so much, it turned out that it was unusual.

I plan to judge whether I'm going to do anything for anyone even my patient.

Now, I say no to any criticisms. I have to stop criticize myself. I mean I will keep criticizing my behaviors but not myself. And, I need to appreciate myself and what I've done. I've been very good to patients. No patients have ever complained of my service. A few request seeing me when they're back. Some even thank me profusively. I think I'm good enough. This is just one black spot in so many tons of good things that I've done.

I think you need to have a long hard look at whether or not nursing is for you. Nursing is tough and if you're going to go into meltdown because a patient scolded you then you're in for a big shock.

love it. I don't know 'til I know. Nursing is for those who will to be.

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Specializes in ER.
Yesterday, I had a patient who looked so much like my ex-big-crush. And, I was blushing all over my face when I was giving him a bath. I feel horrible. It was non-professional. I just wanted to have a hole and bury myself in there!!!! What's worse? He made me give him a bath twice during my 12-hour shift. I didn't know I could have told him that I don't give a bath twice. I think he sensed that I was ... so, he took advantage of that. I was too noob a tech!!! Worse, other nurses sensed that. Even tho they don't say a thing, I know they knew that. I feel horrible. Plus, I was hyper-excited today coming to work because I learned that my clinical site for my coming rotation in school is going to be an awesome place. The nurses look at me very strangely. I'm afraid they may think that I was becoming hyper-excited because of the incident. I just wanted to die!!!!

Hyperexcited? I just wanted to die? Honey, no offense meant here, but just how old are you? You sound EXTREMLY young, and (suggesting this gently) perhaps you are a titch immature to take on the responsibilities of being a nurse? Perhaps you should work as a tech or CNA for a bit to learn how to be a bit more professional? Again, please don't take this as negative, but some people mature before others. I started nursing as a fairly young person (19), but I was married and had a child- NOT suggesting that you should run out and do that, but there is a certain something to be said for a bit of life experience behind you. Good Luck

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Specializes in acute care med/surg, LTC, orthopedics.
Let me ask you and I hope you will be honest with me and yourself. Have you ever had a fantasy, have you ever had a fantasy about a patient. Do you act on them, how many many married men and women have had fantasy's about someone else, but when the opportunity presented itself ran for the hills.

Sorry, but that's none of your business, and irrelevant to the discussion. I have to admit between this question and the previous S&M comment, I'm more than a little creeped out by your contributions.

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