Seriously, I've always been doing more than I have to. I gave a whole cart of water for patient's family members along with ice creams and snacks, etc. I've always done more than what I have to. When my pt hit me, it was my fault. It's not until my nurse came in the room and said to my patient that it was inappropriate for her to hit me that I realize that patient cannot hit me. I think I've been a martyr. When my pt scolded me for no reasons, I just cried. When an old man tried to give me his engagement words, I just became silent and sobbing. And, I went home and I hated myself because I'm just a tech. That's why he dared to say his stupid and ignorant engagement words to me. I've been depreciated. I didn't know that I can say "no" to my customers. I've learned that I can say "no" to not only customers but also their family members. I think I've had enough of self-criticisms. I'm dealing with everything in my life right now: I'm living alone in a place where friends are too busy to be friends, all my friends are in the East, and not in the health care field, nursing school is so demanding. I thank you all for your support.
about the my pt. He said he itchy and wet all over his body and he couldn't move his body when I assessed his musculoskeletal system. He begged me for another bath. Yet, he could move when my nurse was there. I didn't know that. My nurse didn't tell me that he could move until I reported to her that I had given him 2 baths.
Yes. I was my fault to let this guy control me. I'll be in control again.
Yes. I tried to laugh it off by becoming super excited (plus the fact that I've just learned that my new clinical site is at a super nice place) yesterday. Hopefully, it had gone away. But then when I tried to laugh it off so much, it turned out that it was unusual.
I plan to judge whether I'm going to do anything for anyone even my patient.
Now, I say no to any criticisms. I have to stop criticize myself. I mean I will keep criticizing my behaviors but not myself. And, I need to appreciate myself and what I've done. I've been very good to patients. No patients have ever complained of my service. A few request seeing me when they're back. Some even thank me profusively. I think I'm good enough. This is just one black spot in so many tons of good things that I've done.
Thank you :)