If You've Ever Given Birth...

VickyRN, MSN, DNP, RN · Mar 28, 2002

I think state of mind is very important for any woman approaching delivery date. If you are very scared, apprehensive, expecting the worse--this is not good. Concentrate on being relaxed. Try to be as peaceful as possible, this will facilitate the whole process greatly. An uptight state of mind produces a cervix that is much harder to dilate. Do whatever necessary to become relaxed. Avoid as much medical intervention as possible, such as pitocin drips and induced labor. Try to secure the services of a midwife. Birth is a natural and wonderful process, NOT a disease for a doctor to manage.

bagladyrn, RN · Mar 28, 2002

Shay - keep in mind - however you give birth, medicated,unmedicated, lady partsl or c-section - you can't fail! It's NOT a competion! Don't compare yourself to your friends. The end result - becoming a mother- is what it's all about. I keep telling my laboring pts. This is not the Iron Woman Triathalon here - do what you need to.

Trauma Columnist · Mar 28, 2002

Okay, (I know my age is showing), but my sons are 21 and 16. I was 22 and 27 with them. My labor with oldest son was four hours, kinda like menstrual cramps, only a little worse. Then, with younger son, I worked all day, went to regular OB appt and was already 8cm dilated. I lived in Spain at the time and had double parked, so I had to go move my car, drive to hospital and barely got there in time!

This was in the days of no meds, no interventions, etc.. For me, the pain was nothing and I'm a real weanie when it comes to pain.

I think a lot depends on your state of mind. I was married (and still am) to a wonderful guy, had very planned and wanted pregnancies and had the resources to provide for our children.

I think if you're 14, not educated, no job, no hope for the future, then this can be very overwhelming - no matter the amount of pain.

I'm an ER RN and see so many young ladies come in that are only 21 or 22 and already have three or four kids.

SICU Queen · Mar 28, 2002

First baby at age 17: born naturally at Charity Hospital in New Orleans (OMG), NO pain meds, EIGHT hour labor, had to lay flat on my back on a stretcher, had approximately 10 interns looking and feeling up my privates (3 to 4 at the same time sometimes), very ignorant of the whole process and TERRIFIED. (but had a healthy 6lb 14 oz baby girl):)

Side note here: I was so uninformed of everything at the time. Forceps were used during the delivery, and my poor girl's head was so misshapen that she looked deformed, and I thought I'd had a handicapped child and no one was telling me. I cried for two days until a kind old nurse figured out why I was crying, and after laughing very hard, explained the molding process and that the "dents" would go away. Talk about relief...

Second birth at age 21 while in nursing school: private hospital, EPIDURAL, let me repeat, EPIDURAL, played Scrabble during labor, only ONE nurse feeling me up, GREAT doctor, pushed three times, and there was the devil herself weighing in at 7 lbs 9 oz...

They were both experiences that I treasure. Please don't be afraid to have a baby. It is worth any amount of pain that you may experience, I promise!

Mkue · Mar 28, 2002

TraumaRUs loved the story about being double parked..lol..

My 3 sons (sounds like a TV show) 12, 13 and 19 were all c-section so I don't have any horror stories of long labor but there is still pain!

I agree with Heather, the pain is quickly forgotten.

kimtab · Mar 28, 2002

I think you are asking about physical feelings, but I think emotionally is where labor gets difficult. For me, the worst part was the fact that I was NOT in control of what was happening to me. I asked for pain meds because I was unsure of what was going to happen and unsure of my ability to deal with it. So, it was fear- not pain that I was responding to. Keep this in mind when supporting your patients, better guidance may do more good than all the pain medication in the world.

sunnybrook83 · Mar 28, 2002

As you can tell and know from work experience, each person has a different labor and delivery process. Some people have excruciating labors, that last forever, others come in and pop the kid out like a walk in the park. I would NOT allow what lasts a short time influence your decision to have kids. I'm a L&D nurse and I've had 3 kids- first one I went into labor (on my birthday) and 29 hrs late ended up with a CS for FTP and meconium. The first few hrs were mild cramps, that then progressed to feeling like I bowling ball was trying to come out my butt with each ctx ( he was posterior) . I had Pit- nasty stuff!- and an epidural-I hadn't planned on it, but reached a point where I would've taken anything. I reached 7cm and ended up in the section room. My subsequent deliveries were planned sections ( no boos and hisses from the OB nurses out there- I got that at work during those pregnancies). Did I fail because I had cs- No I still have the same end result- babies! Bottom line- each person is different- find a supportive professional who will work with you and your plan, but be open to changes during the process. Good luck!

shay · Mar 28, 2002

Okay. Good responses.

Here's what I'm getting at...

I take self-hypnosis already, so I know how to relax myself. I use it for my migraines. I also have other painful orthopedic probs that other people really freak out about but aren't that bad to me.

When I picture myself in labor, I envision myself just kind of doing what I always do when I hurt....doing my hypnosis, wanting to be left alone in a quiet room, staying at home in my jacuzzi tub until the last possible minute.

I guess why I'm asking about all of this is because I so much want to have a birthing center delivery, but I ain't stupid....I see women all the time who come in and insist they're 'not going to wimp out' and have drugs, but at 3cms are screaming for an epidural. I feel like I've never had a contraction before, I don't know what I'm REALLY in for (I know intellectually from my job, but come on...), so how can I plan to have a birthing center delivery and is it really smart to do that?

It's not the 'no drugs' aspect that's pushing me towards a birthing center delivery. Quite the opposite. The 'no drugs' aspect scares the *#@!! out of me. I just want a quiet place, no freakin' med students or residents jumping all over me and crawling on me, and freedom to NOT BE TIED TO A MONITOR or have an IV or any of that other B.S. that I think is unneccessary if you're just a normal woman in labor. Yes, yes, I could go into a hospital and refuse all of that stuff....and I'm still toying with doing that.

I guess my question is this....should I go for the birthing center, never having known what a contraction feels like? Or should I just go to the hospital to have a baby and be the patient that we all hate who refuses EVERYTHING unless it's medically necessary?

shay · Mar 28, 2002

BTW, I'm not pregnant or planning to be. Just anal retentive...LOL! I want to get WELL established with either an OB or a CNM before I get pregnant and feel comfortable with where they have priveleges to deliver. That's why all the hoopla.

OBNURSEHEATHER · Mar 28, 2002

Let me add one more thing...

I was young and naive when I had my son. I was completely lost. Although I don't want anymore kids, there are a few times I've toyed with the idea of getting pregnant again. The only reason for this is to be able to do it again knowing what I know now, knowing what to expect, and feeling somewhat in control. I don't think it's possible to have these things your first time, and it would be interesting to experience it again. I just don't want the end result :eek:

Also, I know you know this, but a baby can go bad fast. I would never deliver anywhere without a NICU. Period. Why not establish yourself with an OB or CNM, perhaps one you are familiar with from the work setting, write up one of those plans we all hate, and deliver in a hospital? Think about it, we hate them because they are inconvenient to us, but the patient usually always enjoys the experience.

Heather

shay · Mar 28, 2002

Originally posted by OBNURSEHEATHER
Also, I know you know this, but a baby can go bad fast. I would never deliver anywhere without a NICU. Period. Why not establish yourself with an OB or CNM, perhaps one you are familiar with from the work setting, write up one of those plans we all hate, and deliver in a hospital? Think about it, we hate them because they are inconvenient to us, but the patient usually always enjoys the experience.

Heather

AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! EXACTLY!!! This is what I'm so hung up about!!! ~sigh~ Yes, I want to have a level 3 NICU available BECAUSE I know what ugly things can happen!!! But I don't want to be one of those patients that everybody hates!! LOL!!! And we all know if I write a friggin' birth plan I may as well just shave and prep myself before I even get to the hospital!! LOL!! What to do...what to do...Heather, I know you're probably right. I should just bite the bullet and go ahead and get established with an OB who delivers at the big ugly hospital.

ERNurse752, RN · Mar 28, 2002

There's a hospital in my city that has a separate birthing center up on the L/D floor. Pretty cool...all the benefits of a birthing center, midwife, jacuzzis, and all...

But with the advantages of being right there in the hospital at the same time.