I went to work with a black eye

[Jessie-]

I am a new grad RN 9 months into my first year and 3 months into my current rotation.

A few weeks ago I had a black eye. Being in my first year though it was just not possible for me to take off from work for a week or so until the bruising went down so I covered it with make-up best I could and got on with it. Nobody said a single thing over the week or so that I had it so I thought I had gotten away with some A+ make up skills.

Turns out everyone was just too polite to mention it. On my most recent shift my nursing manager called me in to her office to ask me about it. She was so sweet, but the bruise is long gone and I was not prepared. I smiled and laughed and played it off with a "haha oh no I'm fine really thank you though but I'm totally fine etc etc". She offered me EAP and I basically ran out of there.

Now I feel so guilty, she was genuinely concerned and trying to help, it was hard for her to ask and I laughed it off because I was in shock. I don't want her to think I am some irresponsible wit who got into a bar fight or something (not true at all). I am really touched that she offered her support. Should I approach and apologise, offer some sort of explanation? Or just leave it now to not make it worse? I want to be seen as responsible and trustworthy, I want to be employed at the end of my new grad year and I LOVE my job so much. What would you do?

[Kkbrdr3]

I am very concerned that you jumped to I don't want my manager to think "I was in some bar fight. . ". I am a Domestic Violence Survivor & my first and most nurses on this site (manager or not) would think you are in Domestic Violence Situation. Please excuse me if you are not, I have trouble understanding why you didn't say I don't want my manager to think my spouse is beating me up or believe I am unsafe in a Domestic violence situation. Again I apologize if you are not but if you are, make a plan and get to a safe place as soon as possible. As an advocate, it is hard to sit idle reading your comment. Therefore, it is in your best interest you speak to your nurse manager and thank her for her concern and how much you appreciate her or him. If you r to embarrassed to tell your nurse manager that you are a victim of Domestic Violence, please call one the toll-free Domestic Violence Hotline and ask for additional numbers you can call for assistance. Women are coming into our own and we need people like you to step up and put your foot down. However, you may be afraid he/she might kill you. That's where you need to make a plan with a domestic violence organization. You could move out of state with the aid of a DV Org. who will also help you speak & seek assistance from your job. They could possibly transfer you to another state or make a few calls for you in another healthcare facility in which they have a relationship with. The terrorist who is terrorizing & abusing you Will never ever be notified . Person or group of persons who terrorize Americans are considered actual Domestic terrorist(s) & Domestic Abusers, regardless if it is emotional or emotional with physical abuse. Be aware emotional abuse always ends up in physical abuse and down the line The abuser will hit the (future) children. Regardless where the abuser is from, they are considered a Domestic Terrorist because they live in the United States of America and presently are terrorizing an American. Good luck! Bless you & I wish you the best and please rectify your relationship with the nurse manager and thank her for her concern. Tell her you will come to her in the future if you're ever in trouble or something like that in order to keep your job. The nurse manager did go out on a limb for you. I am sure you would do the same.

[amoLucia]

I fell 2 years ago while using my walker. As I went down, the walker handlebar came up and smacked me in the face. I had periorbital bruising.

Not DV, but it was suspicious.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

I think you handled it perfectly letting her know you are safe. Thank you for letting us know that as well. You definitely do not owe the world an explanation. Letting us know was the kind thing to do. :)

[DowntheRiver]

I had a strange bruise show up on my neck and shoulder this past Thursday that looked like it could be as a result of DV or "rough play." It was not, I have no idea what caused it, and I assured everyone before they asked. I left work to get it checked out and it turns out I have a pinched nerve due to some bone spurs in my neck and shoulder.

No idea what caused the bruising but I appreciated that everyone was concerned. With everything that is going on with women coming forward about DV, harassment, and rape you cannot be too careful in my opinion.

[Koshea61, BSN]

She is required to offer assistance. She doesn't have to accept it.

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

Nurses, teachers and school administrators are obligated reporters. With children and vulnerable adults we are required to notify the authorities of suspected abuse. It's a little stickier with adults that don't fall into the "vulnerable" category. If we suspect abuse we are required to assess the situation if possible and provide resources.

Mandated reporters are only required to report suspected abuse that they encounter within the scope of their practice. So no a manager is not required to report to authorities if she see bruises on an employee. Think about it - In the course of daily living I see many thing's that "Just don't seem right" I would be forever reporting everyone if I was required to do so.

Nor or we "Required to act outside our scope of practice." While most decent people would want to help they are not required to do so.

As a scenario to show how ridiculous this is imagine walking in a large store and seeing some woman you don't know with bruises on her face. Do you, a total stranger to her, pull her aside and begin to investigate and assess for DV. Do you call the police to come right away before she leaves the store?

I once was involved in a scenario where I saw an older woman walking down the street with a bleeding head injury, she was walking quickly yelling back over her shoulder at a man who was following her down the street. Concerned that I was witness to a possible crime in action I called the authorities and gave information about the location and followed the pair until the police arrived. I later found out that the woman in question had dementia and had fallen. The man following her was her son and he was waiting for her to calm down enough so he could walk her home and seek treatment for her injuries. Every thing is not always what it seems.

Hppy

[Flatline, BSN, RN]

When my wife and I were...ahem...having relations...I moved to put my head down somewhere and she misinterpreted my move and brought her knees up in a knee/chest position and caught me in the face.

HUGE black eye.

I had to make up a story about a car accident.

How do you explain that your SO gave you a black eye during intercourse/foreplay in the workplace? Answer is, you don't.

[sevensonnets]

I've never been a victim of spousal abuse and don't even have a spouse anymore. I had a really sore knee, smeared some Bengay on it, and went to bed. My dog decided to get under the covers with me but once she smelled that nasty stuff, she crawled back out. Then she SMACKED ME right in the face! I saw stars and little flashes of light! I did not know I had a black eye till it was too late to call in sick the next morning, so I covered it up with makeup but it still showed through. I went on to work and decided to be upfront with my coworkers and just admit I had been a victim of doggal abuse!

[hppygr8ful, ASN, RN, EMT-I]

I once showed up to work covered in bruises on my face, arms and legs, scratches on my neck etc... My boss was concerned and when she asked I said that I had to move my mother with Alzheimer's out of her house yesterday and she literally went kicking and screaming.

Hppy