I want to quit....Or find something new

[jdb_25, BSN, RN]

Hello, I'm new to All Nurses and I've been a nurse for 2 years and 2 months. Based on my title and the short time I've been nursing, you may be wondering "Why do you want to quit? You're just getting started". Well, I'll dive into the why.

My first nursing position was in cardiac progressive care working mostly with VAT patients and post op day 2 and beyond CABG patients. I loved the new things I was seeing and participating in but it very quickly turned sour. First, my patient loads became way too heavy for a new grad nurse. I understand that they probably wanted to load me up at first since I'm new and quiet in order to boost my confidence and get me strong in my nursing skills but it never stopped being heavy/getting heavy. I began to notice that my fellow coworkers had a nice balanced patient team but I ALWAYS, without fail, had 4 of the sickest and meanest patients. I would get cussed out and yelled at nearly every single night. We always had to call security and have a group of people try to calm my patients down. My preceptor noticed that, after nearly a year at this job, my patient load had not changed and it still remained heavy every night I worked. They encouraged me to talk to management and I did, on multiple occasions, with no positive outcome. They always flipped it around as if it were my fault and asked me "Well, what can you do to make your job easier here?" I didn't understand how any of what was happening was my fault but that's when the self-blaming started. I began to think that maybe that was what nursing was supposed to be like and that all I was destined to encounter in my profession for the next 40+ years was being yelled at, cussed out and never treated like part of the team. I quit this job after 1 year and 5 months. I got tired of crying everyday and my family never understood so I felt so incredibly alone. My mental health and confidence was completely shattered by the end.

I'm currently in the cardiac ICU, have been there for 7 months almost, love it some days but mostly wishing I had another position. I'm training for open heart recovery and I do enjoy that part to an extent. The greatest problem I'm facing with this new job is that I'm still carrying anxiety and fear from my old job with me every day that I get ready to work at my current position. I have panic attacks and leave my house as late as possible so I can try to calm down but it rarely ever works. Most nights, I'm so tensed up and on edge that I can't even answer simple questions that I know the answer too.

Am I in the right profession? If so, how can I find the right nursing position that works for me?

I just want to be treated fairly and not like scum by my patients. I've been looking for non-bedside options for awhile now because I'm tired of bedside nursing and not knowing what my patients will be like when I get to work since I've been screwed over so much in my last job.

[speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

I left the ER for very much the same reasons you did. It sounds like you were taken advantage of because you were on the quiet side and sometimes people will take advantage of that if they think they can. 
 

Have you thought of trying Pre-op, OR, or PACU? There are a few patients that are unappreciative or downright rude, but 80-90 percent of the patients are quite amazing to take care of. I never heard a patient say thank you or show any form of kindness until surgical services. A lot of former ICU nurses go into PACU because it’s more laidback but you still get the critical thinking.

[jdb_25, BSN, RN]

@speedynurse

Unfortunately, I can't find any open positions in those areas where I live. They all appeal to me as potential other areas to work in though. I've been creating a lot of job alerts for those areas in case anything new comes up.

I even considered case management, endoscopy and cath lab. I definitely would love to work in the cath lab but, once again sadly, no positions are in my area that are open. It's frustrating to say the least.

[JKL33]

1 hour ago, jdb_25 said:

The greatest problem I'm facing with this new job is that I'm still carrying anxiety and fear from my old job with me every day that I get ready to work at my current position. I have panic attacks and leave my house as late as possible so I can try to calm down but it rarely ever works.

 With this statement in mind, it could be a mistake to assume that a yet another different job will change everything. Have you considered speaking with someone to help with processing your previous negative experience and/or just anxiety in general?

Sorry you are having a tough time.

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

In healthcare, most settings, patients act like this. Sorry. I wish I could report differently, but I have to be honest. Most are entitled, and families are no better. Good luck, I hope you find something that works for you 

[jdb_25, BSN, RN]

@JKL33

I have considered that but I think I should finally just do it and talk to someone. I used to think that I should just deal with how I'm feeling but it's affecting my daily life.

[jdb_25, BSN, RN]

@Hoosier_RN

I appreciate your honesty, thank you. I guess a new position wouldn't really help anything if most of the settings are like that. I really wish there was something non-bedside that I could do and enjoy. I may just need to step away from the profession until I can maybe "fix" myself, if that's the best way to put that.

[11blade, RN]

If you enjoyed the critical care aspect of your ICU jobs you might look into CRNA school. Yes, it's more school (debt) but with the added benefit of more autonomy of practice, better pay, and less a-holes to put up with, depending on what surgeon you would work with. There is a more collegial atmosphere in the OR...most times. Like every thing, some places are outliers, but at least you decide on a treatment plan with your anes. doc, or on your own, depending on what state you practice in.

[Slimlin]

Hi. There are so many things you can do with a BSN RN. For example, I’ve been a nurse for 16 years and haven’t worked in a hospital since 2008. I started out in CSICU as a new grad, then went to a level 1 trauma center, MDS in a skilled nursing facility, hospice, management and now work from home in utilization review for 6 years. Talk to nurses and you will probably find that their paths have all been different. You could  consider and try out different fields to find your niche. Ideas include preceptorship in a LPN or AD nursing program, aesthetics, clinic nursing, etc. Find your passion. Think about how you want to make a difference. You might consider going back to school for a masters in healthcare administration or nursing (clinical, leadership, research, etc.) Just some things to think about. I hope this is helpful. I don’t intend to be preachy. Best wishes in whatever you decide is right for you. ?

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

Most healthcare facilities have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP) staffed 24/7 by an outside group which provides free help in dealing with workplace issues, critical incident debriefing , short term counseling, stress management, alcohol and drug abuse, career counseling and child care issues!  Please contact them to help put your first job into perspective to enhance your career going forward.

Program examples:

www.healthadvocate.com/

www.careplussolutions.com/

www.carebridge.com

[Nurse Nonnie RN]

The problems you mention are exactly why I started in the NICU as a new grad 32 years ago. Babies don't talk, yell or treat you like crap. The parents can sometimes be challenging, but they are usually grateful you are caring for their baby. Some nurses say they are scared of tiny babies...it may be scary at first but it is much better than caring for rude adukts and breaking your back in the meantime. You really should look into it. You will always  have a nurse close by to help you if needed. It is very rewarding to help critically ill babies go home to theri families. Of course some babies don't have great outcomes due to prematurity, but I really enjoyed the work. I am a telephone triage nurse now and it is not easy. It's a different type of stress.  I am currently applying for a research nurse position. Mayne look into Clinical trials Research Nursing? 

[DeeAngel]

Changing jobs every couple of years is the best way to get ahead and get raises in nursing.  Employee loyalty is no longer valued or rewarded by employers, so job hopping it is.