I think I will always feel incompetent

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I just don't think I will EVER be a good nurse. I've been working on the acute care ward of my local hospital as an RPN for 5 months now, right out of nursing school. Every day I go home feeling like I have absolutely no clue how to be a nurse. I feel stupider at the end of the day than I do at the beginning. Usually I cry, then start becoming nauseated at the thought of working again the next day.

Take today, for example. I had to set an IV in a lady. I nailed the vein, no problem. I tried to withdraw the needle... and the catheter came out with it. That was the only decent vein she had left, and I wrecked it. I have done IVs before, no way should I have screwed that up.

And my other patient who is pre-op for a lap-coli tomorrow. One of the other RPNs mentioned something about a pre-op checklist I had to do... be darned if I knew where it was, or how to do it, and I got overwhelmed trying to start another IV in another person with leather for skin (which I missed totally the first time and never got the chance for a second time)... so I left in report for the night shift to do the checklist and the leathery-guy's IV start. I SHOULD have been able to handle it!

There's so many other things that happened just today that leave me feeling like I made a HUGE mistake going into nursing. I ask four million questions every shift. I do the same with my other job as a community nurse, which I also got fresh out of school.

My partner keeps telling me to give it a year. That it will take me a full year to feel like I know what I am doing. I've had 5 MONTHS. Shouldn't I be a LOT better than this? I am 38 years old, and feel like an 8 year old on the job. Please, someone, PROMISE me it gets better.

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Specializes in Gerontology.

You should read Patrica Brenner's theory on Novice to Expert. It is a. Great theory. She basically says that we move through various stages in our career, starting as a novice, but moving slowly to Expert. But it takes time, a lot to time. 5 months is nothing

She also discusses how if an Expert nurse is taken out of her normal setting, she can revert back to a Novice. For example, I am an Expert in Geriatrics, butmifmyoumbut me on a Mother/Baby unit, I would revert back to Novice.

So give your self time. Things wil get better. As for your IV mistake, I've done the exact same thing, and I've been nursing for 22 years!

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Specializes in PICU, Sedation/Radiology, PACU.

5 months is not a lot of time to adjust to being a nurse on a busy floor. I've been working for a year now, and there are still some days where I feel like I missed a lot and tripped over myself the whole day. I ask questions all the time. It's okay. It's normal. My ANM told me my first week of orientation that it takes two years to feel totally comfortable on the unit. I'm sure you're doing fine- or your supervisors would have talked to you. You're probably judging yourself much more harshly than anyone else. Take a deep breath, and realize that you're still learning. It's okay not to be perfect.

:hug:Hang in there. In another seven months you'll be amazed at how far you've come.

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Specializes in Gerontology.

Additional comments. I also had a pt with"leathery" skin. Tried twice to get the IV, but couldn't. Sent him to,the OR without it and took a lot of flak when i told them I coudldn't get it started. The next nightn he told me it took the anethesiologist 8 attempts before he got a vein!

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Thank you SO much for both the article (a fantastic read!) and your kind comments. Other people (non-nurses specifically) just do NOT get this feeling. My partner is the one who suggested I find a nursing forum to join, as he is at a loss.

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to criticism and self-doubt. Being a perfectionist and having poor self-esteem doesn't help at all. Two years to feel totally comfortable? Wow, that seems a looooong time. But it makes me feel better about feeling like a bumbling fool 5 months in. I have not caused any patient of mine harm during my 5 months, and I try so, so hard on every shift.

There is just SO much to learn. I don't feel like school prepared me for this at ALL.

Right now, I am just hoping to survive the next 7 months. If I can somehow do that, maybe I will feel a little better about being a nurse who is at least somewhat confident in her abilities.

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Additional comments. I also had a pt with"leathery" skin. Tried twice to get the IV, but couldn't. Sent him to,the OR without it and took a lot of flak when i told them I coudldn't get it started. The next nightn he told me it took the anethesiologist 8 attempts before he got a vein!

:D it sure didn't help that this leather-skin guy had a spray-on tan that smeared everywhere when I alcohol-wiped his skin!

It's such a relief to know I am not alone in this :)

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I am a new grad also...and here is what my preceptor told me :"Nursing is a 24 hours job. There are always something left to do". It is right though when you think about it. If you could not get an IV and your patient does not need it right away (aka still survive) then it is not big deal. If you could not get the checklist done but there is still time to get it done before patient goes surgery then it is not big deal. I see no matter whether a nurse is experienced or not, there are always days whether a nurse has to say sorry but I can not get it done. Shift was busy. Guess what, the next nurse will do it and next time will be the next nurse asking the first nurse favor because she has a busy day. That is team work:) I am not upset if I have to take care of mess from previous nurse and I hope another nurse will not get mad taking care of my mess hehehe

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Specializes in Home Care.

Maybe you'd feel better with one job rather than two.

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I hope everything works out for you. I often feel like that as a pca, but i know that the days do get better, and it doesn't matter how experienced you are you will still have those good days and sometimes you will have those bad days. Stay positive! If your heart is in it you'll do great :)

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Maybe you'd feel better with one job rather than two.

As a single mom of two teenagers with zero support from my ex, I am afraid I cannot manage financially with only one part time job :( I sure wish I had a full time, but it's not happening any time soon - there just are NO full time RPN positions here or in surrounding areas.

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Specializes in orthopedic/trauma, Informatics, diabetes.

I thought I was the only one feeling that way lately! Hang in there! I will of you do ;p

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