Valinerya

As a single mom of two teenagers with zero support from my ex, I am afraid I cannot manage financially with only one part time job I sure wish I had a full time, but it's not happening any time soon - there just are NO full time RPN positions here or in surrounding areas.

I work two part time jobs (one hospital, one community nursing) and between the two of them, I work more than full time every week. It's exhaustig, but it's work!

I picked out relevant experiences from my non-nursing background to put on my resume. Before I graduated this past December 2011 at the age of 37, I was a project administrator at a satellite-telecommunications company. That's about as far away from nursing as you can get! What was relevant from that job were things like "prioritizing multiple demands", "conflict resolution strategies", "team oriented collaboration"... you get the idea. I also put on all of my clinical experiences I had during my schooling, as well as my single-parenting skills (sounds stupid; but worded correctly, it's pretty effective.)

it sure didn't help that this leather-skin guy had a spray-on tan that smeared everywhere when I alcohol-wiped his skin! It's such a relief to know I am not alone in this :)

Thank you SO much for both the article (a fantastic read!) and your kind comments. Other people (non-nurses specifically) just do NOT get this feeling. My partner is the one who suggested I find a nursing forum to join, as he is at a loss. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to criticism and self-doubt. Being a perfectionist and having poor self-esteem doesn't help at all. Two years to feel totally comfortable? Wow, that seems a looooong time. But it makes me feel better about feeling like a bumbling fool 5 months in. I have not caused any patient of mine harm during my 5 months, and I try so, so hard on every shift. There is just SO much to learn. I don't feel like school prepared me for this at ALL. Right now, I am just hoping to survive the next 7 months. If I can somehow do that, maybe I will feel a little better about being a nurse who is at least somewhat confident in her abilities.

I just don't think I will EVER be a good nurse. I've been working on the acute care ward of my local hospital as an RPN for 5 months now, right out of nursing school. Every day I go home feeling like I have absolutely no clue how to be a nurse. I feel stupider at the end of the day than I do at the beginning. Usually I cry, then start becoming nauseated at the thought of working again the next day. Take today, for example. I had to set an IV in a lady. I nailed the vein, no problem. I tried to withdraw the needle... and the catheter came out with it. That was the only decent vein she had left, and I wrecked it. I have done IVs before, no way should I have screwed that up. And my other patient who is pre-op for a lap-coli tomorrow. One of the other RPNs mentioned something about a pre-op checklist I had to do... be darned if I knew where it was, or how to do it, and I got overwhelmed trying to start another IV in another person with leather for skin (which I missed totally the first time and never got the chance for a second time)... so I left in report for the night shift to do the checklist and the leathery-guy's IV start. I SHOULD have been able to handle it! There's so many other things that happened just today that leave me feeling like I made a HUGE mistake going into nursing. I ask four million questions every shift. I do the same with my other job as a community nurse, which I also got fresh out of school. My partner keeps telling me to give it a year. That it will take me a full year to feel like I know what I am doing. I've had 5 MONTHS. Shouldn't I be a LOT better than this? I am 38 years old, and feel like an 8 year old on the job. Please, someone, PROMISE me it gets better.