I think I HATE what i'm doing...

[ilovematt48]

I remember when I first got accepted to nsg school... I was so excited. Not b/c I had wanted to be a nurse all my life, but b/c this meant I would be done with school in 2 years. Everything else I wanted to do was going to take me like 5-6 more years, I would have had to moved 6-8 hours away from my family and everyhting i knew, and also be in debt up to my eyeballs. I knew with nsg that i would have plenty of money left over and didn't have to go that far away so I was like "ok yeah I'll just be a nurse."

Stupid move, I know. The day before we started classes, I was debating on whether to drop out and switch to something else. I kept thinking, "are you sure this is what you REALLLY want to do?" My anxiety that night should have told me somehting. I am currently a first semester sneior and I still hate what I'm doing. I cry all the way to school and all the way home at least once a week if not more.Clinicals have always driven me crazy! It makes me sooo INCREDIBLY NERVOUS. It's not that I hate being around people, but the whole time I am thinking "oh gosh what if i mess up? what if i miss something and they die? what if it's my fault they die?" Everyone said that things would get better when I was out of school b/c the real world wasn't like nsg school.So I did an externship this summer in the ICU, and I still cried everyday that I had to go into work. I worked with another nurse who also hated nursing so Im sure that didn't help me much, and I got to where I didn't even like being around people anymore. I come home eveyday looking up jobs on the internet, trying to figure out "Could I be a resp. therapist.... a PTA....etc. " My mom is like just quit b/c I've been having to take nerve pills just to calm me down. LIFE SHOULD NOT BE LIKE THIS. I just don't know whether to finish nsg school, and try to find somehting else when I get out of school, I mean I guess at least I would have my B.S. degree. But then sometimes, I feel like i should just get out of it now, take a break from school, go back to work in the pharmacy for awhile, and really think about what it is that I want to do with my life. Sorry this is so long, but I just need some unbiased advice. Thanks so much

[sophialily]

Oh my gosh! Don't quit! You don't even have to be a nurse, you could work at a pharmaceutical company selling drugs! They make a TON of money and work alot from home. Nursing has sooo many different avenues, the hospital being just one of them! You could be a school nurse, for instance. You could be a nurse for a company. Like when I was working at a rehab hospital in college, the hospital actually had a nurse designated for the employees of the hospital to give them vaccinations, etc.

You have come so far, don't quit, just look into other alternatives to hospital nursing.

Good luck:wink2:

[pagandeva2000, LPN]

Many times, a person has to get their feet wet somewhere in nursing before they are able to get the desk jobs. This is not to say that this happens for everyone, but most of the people I know had to pay their dues, somehow.

You are not a bad person if you don't want to be a nurse; in fact, it is a safer decision for the patients as well as yourself.

[kiszi, RN]

You've really gotten some good advice from a lot of different viewpoints. Here's mine:

The one thing you will really have to do is some deep soul searching. Discover just what about your clinicals and externship you hate, and determine if any of that will change. One thing I must tell you is that "real world" nursing is NOTHING like school. I absolutely detested clinicals. The first day of clinical, I very seriously considered quitting school. I was anxious, nervous, didn't know anything, didn't know how to talk to patients, etc. etc. I decided to stick it out because I had already paid for classes, books, and all kinds of supplies. (yeah, I know I could have gotten my money back. well, that was my motivation.)

So anyway, after hating nursing school and having a up and down couple of years, including leaving a job that had me headed to burnout, I'm starting to think I'm going to like nursing. It's not for everyone, but ask yourself really deep down, is it for YOU?

[hisblueskies]

I agree with some of the earlier posts - if you are under stress and anxiety now it is only going to get worse on graduation. There is no shame in realizing you made a wrong choice - please do not continue unless you go through some major changes and your high stress levels go away. I have been a nurse for 3 years - have gone through some horrible and humiliating experiences and am at a point where I regret the decision to become a nurse. There are a whole bunch of us out there who realize we made a mistake and there's also a whole bunch out there that enjoy what they do and are pretty darn good at it. Nursing is not for everyone and there is no shame in realizing it is not right for you.

[Riseupandnurse]

Oh, I feel for you!! Listen to what your mind and your heart are telling you. You do not want to be a nurse! Get out now. It will only get worse. The first two years of nursing are so very, very hard, and yes some people find desk jobs but only after paying heavy dues and those people, from my experience, almost always seemed to do very well in bedside nursing first. Some of your education will transfer to another field like speech pathology or physical therapy or even social work or a lot of other very good, rewarding careers. Don't spend any more time and agony in nursing school. There is nothing wrong with you. It's a wonderful thing to realize you are on the wrong path and back off now rather than later. You can be happy but it is up to you to do what you know you need to do.

[alkaleidi]

I feel for you... I don't know exactly what you are feeling because I didn't feel that way initially. But, once I was in, I realized I should have taken some prereq's because one semester of nursing school I was taking 19 credit hours and another semester I was taking 18. I was irritable, had canker sores like you wouldn't believe (viscous lidocaine was my friend -- I had a bottle in my backpack), and having mental breakdowns left and right. I got pulled over mid-19-credit-hour semester for not wearing a seatbelt when in actuality I *did* have my seatbelt on, I had just put the thing under my left arm so I could lean forward and try to get whatever had blown into my eye out. The idiot cop called me back to his car instead of just coming up to mine, and had me sit in the back seat while he went through the paperwork BS and I bawled the entire time -- about everything except the fact that he was giving me a petty ticket!

After all that, 12-14hr semesters were cake, and I felt invincible. I actually got a monster scholarship to DeVry 3 years prior to starting nursing school, and the day of registration was horrible. Minus all the details, I ended up going home the next day, with a supportive mom, and knew I made the right decision. Mulled it over the entire previous day and all night. I think the fact that you started shows that you had a genuine interest, and you made the right choice.

If you truly feel like you want out, don't waste your time doing something that you don't want to do. But, if you want to stick it out, you will end up with a degree in a profession that can take you anywhere in the country, and to many other countries as well. And, you don't *have* to work in a "clinical" setting... there are SO many fields of nursing outside the hospital, and even positions on the outskirts or completely outside of healthcare, that you can work in that don't require you to even do patient care.

In a nutshell, if you stick it out and get your license, at the LEAST you will have a guaranteed good-paying job and, worse case scenario, you can afford to go back to school and get a degree in something else.

If you feel like talking in private, send me a PM -- I hope you make a decision you're happy with!! Good luck with whatever you decide.

[mr.ahp]

Finish nursing school so you have the money to pay for pharmacy school. Stepping stone.

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

Your so close to finishing, that perhaps you should finish. With a nursing degree under your belt, you can go on to so many different things. Even if you want to go on in school, you have this degree. I hate ns, and I just realized how much 4th semester. I'm so sick and tired of studying and jumping through hoops, I could puke (and I'm part time). I know I have to do this to realize my dream, but it is difficult.

I'm an amputee and also just about done with a degree in health care administration. I'm trying to look ahead to a day when I don't move as well as now. Sometimes, you need to try to look at your future and figure out if finishing will be of any help to your peace of mind later. This is a very diverse field with many avenues to pursue. You don't have to be a bedside nurse. I've applied in Corrections where I hear you do your job in a different kind of way. That smile and small talk should many times be avoided and abuse from families isn't as common. Not to mention great bennies. I guess I'm saying look into what you can get into with a nursing degree or how you can use it to bounce into something else. Good luck and let us know what you decide.

[SICU Queen]

My first instinct is to tell you to get out ASAP, but you're so close to being done! Can you muster up the guts and strength to finish, then get a job so you can work while you go back to school for something else? You can go to grad school and then teach, go to law school, etc. Nursing is a great base for other professions!

If you truly don't think that you can even stomach it through your final semesters, then by all means get out and do what your heart tells you. I dropped out of nursing school twice before finally completing it. I was a single mom and felt it was the most secure profession for me to have while raising children, even though it's not where my heart was at the time, and even now. Little did I know back then that I would've made it no matter what profession I chose, because that's who I am - and trust me when I say that I'd have NEVER chosen nursing had I truly known what it's all about.

Good luck in making your decision. It's a tough one.

[medsurgrnco, BSN, RN]

You're very young, and sounds like you didn't really think about nursing as a career when you started nursing school. Nursing school AND nursing work are very difficult - even for those who really want be a nurse or decide it is worth putting up with the difficult aspects of the job for the perks of nursing. You need to do some career testing and counseling ASAP, which should be free or cheap through your school. Then you can make an educated guess as to whether it is worth finishing or whether changing career paths is a better move. I didn't have clue what I was doing at your age - but after quite a few more years and a few career moves, I am happy with my current nursing job (but hated nursing school!).

[D&Ggirl]

hey!! I was kind of in the same boat as you. I loved nursing school but once i got out into the hospital setting i hated it. i too cried every night i had to work, and the only thing that kept me going was the people i worked with were so nice. I started looking for a job in April and in August I got one out of the hospital and i just started and i love it. its totally different - its a research position so its about 50% pt. time and 50% paperwork, i have a desk, etc. MUCH better for me. i too constantly worried about if i was going to mess up, but you cant be afraid to ask questions too. HOWEVER. if you really feel nursing isnt for you....get out. i would reccommend trying another department (possibly out of the hospital) and see if that helps...if it doesnt, get out. from the way your post sounds (talking about how you are a senior) im guessing you are pretty young like me. one of the things i had to think about was im going to be working for the next 40+ Y-E-A-R-S. I was not about to stay somewhere where I cried and got sick to my stomach everyday for the rest of my life. i live once, and i want to work somewhere that i ENJOY going to. you have to make YOU happy. good luck and keep us posted!!!