I think I HATE what i'm doing...

[ilovematt48]

I remember when I first got accepted to nsg school... I was so excited. Not b/c I had wanted to be a nurse all my life, but b/c this meant I would be done with school in 2 years. Everything else I wanted to do was going to take me like 5-6 more years, I would have had to moved 6-8 hours away from my family and everyhting i knew, and also be in debt up to my eyeballs. I knew with nsg that i would have plenty of money left over and didn't have to go that far away so I was like "ok yeah I'll just be a nurse."

Stupid move, I know. The day before we started classes, I was debating on whether to drop out and switch to something else. I kept thinking, "are you sure this is what you REALLLY want to do?" My anxiety that night should have told me somehting. I am currently a first semester sneior and I still hate what I'm doing. I cry all the way to school and all the way home at least once a week if not more.Clinicals have always driven me crazy! It makes me sooo INCREDIBLY NERVOUS. It's not that I hate being around people, but the whole time I am thinking "oh gosh what if i mess up? what if i miss something and they die? what if it's my fault they die?" Everyone said that things would get better when I was out of school b/c the real world wasn't like nsg school.So I did an externship this summer in the ICU, and I still cried everyday that I had to go into work. I worked with another nurse who also hated nursing so Im sure that didn't help me much, and I got to where I didn't even like being around people anymore. I come home eveyday looking up jobs on the internet, trying to figure out "Could I be a resp. therapist.... a PTA....etc. " My mom is like just quit b/c I've been having to take nerve pills just to calm me down. LIFE SHOULD NOT BE LIKE THIS. I just don't know whether to finish nsg school, and try to find somehting else when I get out of school, I mean I guess at least I would have my B.S. degree. But then sometimes, I feel like i should just get out of it now, take a break from school, go back to work in the pharmacy for awhile, and really think about what it is that I want to do with my life. Sorry this is so long, but I just need some unbiased advice. Thanks so much

[jmking]

When I first started nursing school, I had a relly difficult time. Classes were tough and I had one teacher that was very rude and demeaning not only to myself but too others. I never felt confident for the first two quarters. My advice would be to talk to a teacher that you trust and possibly a school consulor. These feelings are normal and many nurses have gone through this, you are not alone. :wink2:

[angel337, MSN, RN]

i know you are going to get a lot of people that are going to tell you to not give up, but to me you sound like its not something you really wanted to do in the first place. why suffer?? alot of people go into nursing becaue of job security, not because they are truly interested in the career. and then there are people that truly don't like nursing, never did and never will but they do it because they don't know what else to do to pay the bills. if you are taking nerve pills now just imagine how you will be once you actually start working. i say get out now while you can.

[jenny456]

Hi,

Sorry you are having such a bad time! I know many people who chose their major in college based up how soon they could get out and how much money they would get (they generally had many regrets later). Everyone I know, regardless of their degree, has changed careers fields eventually anyway. You need to follow your heart, and everything will fall into place. If you are crying all the time and needing medication to get through the day, your soul is screaming "no to nursing"--and you should listen. The stress is not necessarily going to be less when you work as a nurse, it is actually more sometimes. Do yourself a favor and take time off to figure out what you are good at, what you love, and how to honor your intution to make better choices. Enlist the help of a career counselor. Maybe you need to work for a while until you know what you want to do. Good luck :)

[RNMeg]

Before I went into nursing, I was a linguistics major/spanish minor at the university in my city. I had a lot of the same feelings you did..anxiety, depression..at one point in my last semester there, I just stopped going to class. I decided I needed to take a semester off, during which I worked full-time (and decided I didn't want to be an ophthalmology tech my whole life!). I figured out what I needed to do to get into nursing school (which is what I had wanted to do all along anyway, I just never thought I'd be good enough)..and I started prerequisites in the fall. The following spring, I applied to nursing school, was accepted, and started in the fall. I've been a 4.0 student since..it's just a matter of finding your fit. If nursing isn't right for you, that's fine, just like linguistics wasn't right for me. Find your niche, there's no shame in leaving something that's not working for you.

Wishing you health and happiness in the future :redbeathe:redbeathe:redbeathe

[jjjoy, LPN]

First of all, it's okay to not like nursing or nursing school. I didn't like it much and considered dropping out, but by that time it was "just one more year" and there were "so many different opportunities" in nursing, you could do "just about anything" with the degree. Fortunately or unfortunately, I did well academically and well enough clinically and passed each course with no problems, graduated and passed the NCLEX.

I didn't start crying regularly until I was orienting as a nurse on a hospital unit. It was overwhelming and I just didn't like it enough to put up with that degree of stress! What was the point of my getting this clinical experience if I disliked it so much? What good would that experience do me when I now realized that I WANTED a calm desk job where I wasn't expected to be a clinical expert? So I took a pay cut and got a calm desk job in a different area of health care and am so much happier! And since I'm happier, I have more energy and motivation to put into my job, I do more than just get by, and am more likely to get raises and new opportunities! I figure I've got more job security in this type of job because I'm not tempted to quit every day I go in!

There are many ways to look at your situation in a more positive light. If you drop out now, you save yourself a year to get started on something else and perhaps also open up a spot in the program for a student who failed out the previous year and is trying to get back in. Or if you stay in, you can do what you need to do to earn the degree and see if there's any area of nursing that does appeal to you. If you find nothing, then graduate and never practice nursing. Think of how many economics majors never work as economists!

Some other thoughts and questions: Is it at all possible to change your major and still graduate in a year or two? Maybe something like psychology or sociology, for which some of your nursing coursework might overlap with? Summer courses work well for getting certain classes out of the way and graduating sooner. Maybe there was some subject you've taken that made you excited, as opposed to the way you are feeling now? For example, I really enjoyed microbiology and working as a research assistant. Can you take some sort of leave of absence from school so that you can decompress without having to drop out completely and reapply all over again in the future?

I don't think there's a perfect answer. This is life and it's messy sometimes. Sometimes you may slip and fall... but you may find that you have a better perspective from there to see where you want to go. So "messing up" "wasting time" etc can sometimes work out for the best. So whether you drop out, fail out, graduate and use your degree or never use your degree, it needn't be the "end of the world" and knowing that can sometimes make it all a bit more bearable.

My thoughts are with you!

[neatnurse30]

If you feel the way now about nursing, trust me, it will not change. I'm in nursing for 3 yrs now, and always hoped that it will be better. First, in the first semester, I knew I hated clinicals, I knew something was wrong with the picture, but I kept telling myself- at least you need to finish the school. Then once you pass NCLEX you get excited somewhat because the pay is pretty good. Well, it goes on and on. This year I'm working per diem, and I do only minimum requirement in the hospital because I can't stand this job. This doesn't do me any good. I'm dreaming about quiet job somewhere in the office, I don't like hands on work, I don't want to touch anybody.

I know I need to do something else, and my plan is to work only weekends in the hospital :twocents:and have regular Monday- Friday job. This way I can still make some money while transitioning to something else.

If it doesn't feel right now for you, it will never be later, it will only get worse.

[mpccrn, BSN, RN]

confession time: i had no burning desire to be a nurse......that was 30 years ago. it's a job, one that i can do well, effectively and my patients and co-workers have no idea i didn't grow up without that burning desire to be a nurse. nursing is job security. i can work anywhere and do anything, all while pursuing my own personal interests. i actually found that that helps on those horrid days. i know that at the end of the day, after giving all there is to give, i can come home and do my own thing.....for me. study what i want, learn what i want and am comfortable in the knowledge that i'm a productive member of society, a resource for my co-workers and a financial support for my family. i don't think anyone really knows what they want to do in their 20's. get your degree. it gives you options you won't have dropping out now. it'll give you the freedom to choose what you want later when you figure out what that is.

[cclem1]

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that you hate nursing school so much. Though I'm not a nurse yet, only hoping to be one in the future, I can relate to your indecision and anxiety. I have researched just about every health related career there is out there and I'm still not sure what I should do. My advice to you would be to finish your degree. If you are a senior.. just muscle through it. I know what it is like to absolutely hate what you are doing and the stress and anxiety it can cause, but once you have the degree you can be done with clinical nursing if you continue to despise it. I know of many companies in the area I live in who prefer to hire nurses for jobs such as clinical research associates or clinical trial coordinators. I'm not sure what kind of area you live in, but once you have a degree, it opens the doors to a lot other opportunities. Also, once you have the bachelors you could always do a masters in something that you really like.

Good luck to you and I know you'll find something. Don't give up on the degree!

[marie-francoise]

I'm a senior and am "muscling through it" (that's a good phrase). Nursing school has given me good knowledge; but, had I to do it over again, I would have studied something else.

Working my summer deskjob, which was good money, was vastly easier than nursing school/nursing; and I was mentally more healthy.

I guess my advice would depend on how far along you are in nursing school, and how much you dislike it. Although... only you can decide what's best for you.

P.S. As a previous poster stated, there are clinical research jobs for nurses that don't involve any bedside work.

[semiller36545]

If this is how you truly feel, deep in your heart, get out now. Life is WAY too short. Don't spend it being miserable. Nursing is a wonderful, noble profession, but it's not for everybody. Neither is anything else. A little extra time in school is not much compared to the rest of your life. Find what's right for you and go for it. Good luck !

[nicumom]

In reading your post I think you answered your own question. Just because you dont like nursing doesnt mean you are a bad person. Life is too short to be unhappy...follow your heart and choose a career for you!!!