I think I got fired

Published

This is probably more a vent but I could use some advice and maybe a kind word.

Well this week couldnt get any worse. First of all I called out of my LTC job Monday because I found out my father had a stroke. Thankfully he is ok but he does need another surgery on his arteries in his neck.

Today is a whole other story. My husband and I have been stressed because he is out of a job and a million other things. So unfortunately we went at it today before I left for work. I was so upset that I was making myself sick. Well, I think we are calling it quits. Things are not working out and his priorities are not his son and I. I called into work and told them I had a family emergency and I couldnt leave my son. He is 2 1/2 years old and he knows something isnt right. My husband would probably completely ignore the poor child if I went to work so my son is more important than my job.

I called the nursing supervisor and her answer to me was" well, you better come up with a better excuse than that if you want to continue to keep working here." I said fine and hung up.

This place is just a mad house. One of the LPN's didnt want to stay there anymore last night and we all caught him calling his wife asking her to call with an emergency. She calls and says she tripped over the dog and broke her leg so he needs to come home.

They wont fire him over something that stupid but they will fire me because I have an actual family crisis? What is with that?

I am going in tomorrow to turn in my keys and I am just hoping maybe someone with show some sympathy and tell me I can stay.

Was I wrong about calling in this way? Maybe I should have lied and said I had the flu instead of being honest? Please let me know what you think.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

sometimes total honesty comes back to haunt you.

but the bottom line is, if you're not unionized, that makes you an employee at will, to which they can dismiss you for practically any reasons that exclude various forms of discrimination.

if you're handing over the keys as a test, don't do it.

just go to work tomorrow and see what happens.

much luck to you.

leslie

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Wow! You are having the week from hell.

So sorry to hear about your dad. Hope the surgery goes well and he improves.

Also sorry to hear about the problems with your marriage. Of course, you know the situation best, but don't throw in the towel till you've tried everything. Always better to fix an ailing marriage, if possible.

Naturally your son comes first. But, unfortunately, calling into work and telling them the truth seems to backfire. Especially over child care issues, it seems. But it seems to me that when you go in to work you can explain the situation. Would imagine, unless you call in a lot, that they will understand. Most places would rather work with an individual than fire them, in my experience.

Good luck. Hope things work out for you the way you'd like :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

If you haven't been in the habit of calling out I don't see how they could hold it against you for having to miss a couple of days of work.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Don't quit your job, unless you really want to. If you like the job and you want to stay, go in there tomorrow as if nothing happened. Apologize to the supervisor and say that you've been under a lot of stress lately but that you have it under control now. Don't bring the LPN guy into it. If you start pointing out and showing up your coworkers to justify yourself it will only make you look bad.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

The only other time I called out was on Monday because of my father. I am per diem right now because of the whole military transition we are going through. That is why my husband doesnt have a job right now. I couldnt committ to set hours so I took a per diem job.

Its just weird that telling the truth comes back to haunt me. I was raised to always tell the truth and I think if I would have lied about it, they wouldnt have believed me because I am a bad liar. Its just something that I dont do.

I dont want to give up on my marriage but I have tried to almost 3 years now to get him to realize his family comes before other things. I have to say it, my husband is a computer gaming freak and thats all he does. I am afraid to leave but I really cannot handle staying. I refuse to let me son be raised in this environment.

I am thinking all this through and I will show up to work tomorrow and see what they say. I wont mention the LPN, I wouldnt dig my grave like that but I just found it odd that he lied like that and got away with it.

As for my father. He sees the surgeon tomorrow and it looks like they will be doing the surgery again. So I am still completely stressed but I need to hide it a little better so I can possibly keep my job.

But thanks for the feedback. I feel a little better. I will let you know if they will keep me on staff there. Sheri

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Its just weird that telling the truth comes back to haunt me. I was raised to always tell the truth and I think if I would have lied about it, they wouldnt have believed me because I am a bad liar. Its just something that I dont do.

sheri,

i completely agree with you about truth-telling as i am the same way.

and i'm a horrible liar too.

there are just certain times that i've kicked myself for telling the truth.

much luck with your father and your home situation.

and if you're perdiem at this facility, then you can be perdiem at other facilities if it ever comes to that.

leslie

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I wouldn't turn my keys in. I'd go to the nearest Psychologist/Psychiatrist and get a NOTE. The note can be very vague, it just has to say you're being treated and that covers you. They can't fire you for seeking help.

I'm not trying to push you to it, but you have ALOT going on right now and you really need to let someone listen and help you. It'll pay off big for you personally, for your son, for your job, and it'll help you in court if you happen to have a custody fight (which we never expect but it seems to happen more often then not.)

For what it's worth, I would have done the same thing. I'd probably send my husband on a long errand and take all the money out of the bank account, change the locks on the doors, and let him suffer...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg.

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, you don't need work stress on top of everything else. Try to salvage things at work.

I've called in for family/personal emergencies before and is a perfectly legit reason to call in.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles, you don't need work stress on top of everything else. Try to salvage things at work.

I've called in for family/personal emergencies before and is a perfectly legit reason to call in.

Even perdiem you can collect unemployment insurance if they let you go. I have. However, if you quit you must waite several months before you will qualify for unemployment. Don't let them force you into quitting it is to thier advantage and your disadvantage if you do.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.

I too have been in similar situations with serious family emergencies. My hubby had a heart attack 4 years ago at the age of 31...and when I called my employer to tell them that my hubby was having s/sx of a heart attack (classic presentation too!!!) they told me when I called in that he was too young to be having a heart attack, and what was the point in me going to the hospital anyway since I wouldn't be of any help! They told me my patients came first, and that since I couldn't help my husband while in the hospital, I needed to be productive and show up for work. I was floored!!!!

Needless to say my priorities and view of the situation were a little different than my employers! I handed in my keys immediately and quit! I didn't have time to argue with them over my situation. And my mindset was, my family issues come first and foremost in my life, because I could loose my job but my family will still be there to love and support me! No matter where I worked...as a nurse or even at a grocery store stocking shelves, my family would love me and need me more than any employer ever would or will!

We hit 8 months of me trying to find a job again...but I was with those who mattered most to me, and got to spend some very nice quality time with my recovering husband, and my quickly growing son! Time well spent to me, even when I was crying over bills...I would look at them or a picture of them and knew...somehow it would all be okay!

I guess it comes down to what each persons personal priorites are. Mine is my family to the extreme and would burn my RN license if it came down to a choice between them and my career (although that would be very hard, and very sad!!!). To me I am nothing without them...and I need them as much as they need me. There may be a day I will need to be there more than my career...and I will answer that call, and hopefully my employer will understand, and if not...so be it.

It is like I say "I was ____ (my name) before becoming a nurse, and I consider my life to be accented by nursing, not the other way around!"

Oh yeah...and as far as not being able to help my hubby...I saved his life twice that day, and he would have died if I didn't go and be by his side! One...I convienced him to actually go to the hospital (and you think nurses are hard to convience to go into an ED...try a paramedic!), and caught a hypersenstivity reaction to a medication (he had so many we weren't quite sure what caused it) and got him aide before they would have had get very invasive (which his heart may not have handled too well right then and there!). It was the best decision I ever made, and he certainly agrees!

The choice is yours, and weigh carefully your own personal values and goals. Sit down and try to think of what really matters to you, and choose that one. Yes they intermix, but consider what parts of the mix you can change by staying strong, and commited to your values!

Good luck to you (I have a friend that is in the same situation with her husband as you right now...and it is not easy for her at all...bless your heart!). And my best to your father, may he recover well and quickly!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

don't make decisions when you are stressed out...your dad needs support right now and you can't put that off because that is really out of your hands

see if you can get some marriage counseling, it frequently doesn/t work because we have a tendancy to wait until it is too late but give it a try

see if you can get some alternative babysitting which you will have to do anyway if you decide to separate...

talk with the DON explain what is going on and what you can do to fix the situation..the response you got may have been due to her answering too quickly to a stressed out situation [which calling in at last minute can be] but if you are willing to work things out any good facility should meet you half way...it will be good for you and they won't have to train anyone else

and by the way...what is this about keys?????we only have keys to medicince cart and to the med room. which we transfer over to on-coming p we count....is this something new???

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion