I am sorry

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

I have seen it in these blogs so many times. Saying sorry for something that you have no controll over

I grew believing you said sorry when you had remorse for something wrong that you have done. Which means you accept blame for something bad that has happened.

I am not sorry for something that I did not do. Maybe people use the term as a sentiment. I dont.

At work, I dont say I am sorry for something that I have no control over. Never.

If a person is lost in the hospital and I have a second to redirect them, I do it, I dont say sorry.

If a family member is upset with a nurse, usually because of conflict with personality mind you, I dont say sorry for the attitude of the nurse.

One time a family thought they could make me get them some coffee. No, I told them, I am not here to make and serve coffee to family members. I didnt say sorry then either.

What are your thoughts ?

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

I have said to someone who was upset with something I said "I'm sorry you felt that way about what I said, but I didn't mean it that way."

I do use "I'm sorry" in that context eventhough I didn't do anything wrong, the other person felt I did.

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Specializes in Operating Room Nursing.

I have to agree with you that you shouldn't say sorry to someone if you haven't done anything wrong.

To the obnoxious family member who is making unreasonable demands on the nursing staff and becomes abusive, saying 'sorry' is the worst thing you can do. It gives them more power to make life for the nursing staff hell and it asserts their 'right' to behave in an unreasonable manner.

As for family members making coffee, well I just direct them to the tea room where they can do it themselves. I didn't study nursing for 3 years and end up with debt just to make coffee.

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I believe that sometimes saying sorry is a way to calm an agitated pt or family member, it is also our way as compasionate beings to show sympathy for what the other person is going through... most people here say they are sorry, but they also accompany it with a clarification or an explanation of why a situation or something is happening. Sometimes people just need someone who can understand them, who can try to put themselves in their shoes or at least pretend they do. In a moment of dispair, anger, sadness, or discomfort they don't need someone to show them attitude because many times (and I've seen it) things don't turn for the best.

Just my 2centavos

Vivi

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Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.

Wow!! I guess I am a little more laid back but I would never tell a family that I am not there to serve them coffee. My response would be "I can't get that for you but let me show you where it is". When people have a problem with someone else, I say "I am really sorry that you had that experience. Let me see what I can do to help you with that problem. I then investigate and get back with them. Sometimes there is nothing I can do but report it to may manager but I let them know that. Sometimes you can fix the problem and you should if you can. I really try to help people if they have had a bad experience if I can and it makes for a much better working environment when the patients are happy and pleased with their care.

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I say I'm sorry sometimes, but it's usually I'm sorry you feel that way, or I'm sorry you took what I said that way, or I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm not a nurse yet, but it happens alot where I work now.

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Specializes in ED, ICU, PACU.

I will also use the phrase 'I'm sorry' as a way to express empathy. Meaning that I feel bad for the person about the situation or the event they have experienced; and, not necessarily that I had anything to to with it. It is sort of like saying I am so sorry about the death of your ... It no way implies that I taking any responsibility for the death.

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I think a little kindness and empathy go a long way in building a working relationship. Usually, I think the nurse is trying to ease or calm the situation so that a resolution can be worked out. :wink2:

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.

I agree with saying I understand.

If I can help someone out with something, I am happy to do it, but my patients always come first. One time a lady was asking me for directions around the hospital. She was lost. We dont have escort at night, I had to give my patient a GI bleeder PRBCs and alot of them. I was polite to her when she approached me and before she said anything.. I told her I have a patient upstairs that is doing very bad and I cant help you, Sorry. In that instant I was sorry that couldnt help her, but I had my priority.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

The term "I'm sorry" can have many meanings in English. It can be used to apologize. It can be used to express sympathy. You can use it when you didn't hear someone and need them to repeat what they said. You can even use it with a sarcastic tone to mean that you aren't sorry at all!

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

If you don't have time to get some coffee for a patient's family "so sorry" is merely a social nicety that communicates good will and kindness.

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
If you don't have time to get some coffee for a patient's family "so sorry" is merely a social nicety that communicates good will and kindness.

I would agree with you, but its not my job in the 1st place to get anyone coffee at all.

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