I sorry to say that I am not myself right now

Nurses General Nursing

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Hello everyone. I sorry to say that I am not myself right now. I am very depressed! I missed 24 hours of clinical @ phlebotomy, I don't have a job, don't have any money, and can't find a job, and slowly i am losing self esteem. I just dont know what to do, i feel like i havent made a good decission for myself in months! I don't know how i will make it through this depression, but im gonna try, im sure God can help me. I feel like i am no longer capable of making decissions for myself, i just keep choosing the wrong thing. I'm sorry for making this so long, but i feel better when i can share with others. OK here it goes, I got hired @ a really good nursing home (genesis elder care) but i missed my second day of orientation because i was running a half hour late, so i was to embarassed to go, then i found another job, but couldnt stand it and left in like a month or two next i start the phlebotomy class i dreamed of, turns out it was not what i thought, i miss 24 clincal hours and probaly ruined my relationship with my clinical site, by the way i dont like the class. what im trying to figure out is if the whole situation with phlebotomy is in my head since im already upset. i really thought i would like it. i messed up in the clinical part but i have straight A's in the class, and 3 weeks left. i dont know what to do, i dont know if i wannna finish the class or what. im just really stressed! thanks for letting me whine. your comments are always welcome and please pray for me

((((hug)))))) Go back to genesis (did I say that right?) and explain what happened and your embarresment. Express your regrets to them. They just might take you back.

You could also talk to your phlebotomy instructor and see what you can do to make up the lost hours.

Learning a new skill is very tough. If your dislike is that you find the actual doing is very challenging then I suggest you do what you can to get the clinical practice even if it means repeating the class. You simply do not have the skill yet. That can ONLY be gained with a lot of practice. Even when you finish the class you will not be as good as someone who has been doing this for some time.

Be Patient with yourself. Think of the things you do well. Even something as simple as say reading a story well to a child. There are a lot of things you are already good at. Make a list, no matter how dumb it may sound. Then think about how much it took to learn the skills you do well.

The best way to overcome fear is to face it and do it anyway. There is nothing like the surge of confidence you get from doing something you are afraid of (like going back to genesis and explaining what happened and asking to come back, for one example) You might not get the job back but you will have taken one step in moving out of your comfort zone and that is key to growth.

If we only do those things we do well if we only stay inside our comfort zone we never learn anything new and never get the chance to discover something that we may untimately love.

Two things you mentioned jumped out at me..1) i'm so depressed and 2) I can't seem to make any decisions....I've been clinically depressed and when you feel this way you CAN'T make any decisions....maybe you should visit your MD and discuss how you are feeling...antidepressants are a wonderful thing and a lifesaver to boot.....Until you can get over this depression nothing will work out right hun....take care of yourself first, then your career choices (((hugzzzz)))

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

Hugs to you sweetness. Good advice so far. Good luck.

MissJKM, are you on anti-depressants?? If you are not then I suggest you go on some. They can make a world of difference. People should not be ashamed to go on anti-depressants. They are there to help those with depression. It is not easy but finish out what you are doing. You will be so glad you did. I know it is not easy. Trust me as a single mother I know this. I just graduated from an RN program last month and it was NOT easy and I too was depressed and finally realized that I do not need to be ashamed to let my doctor know all this.

Also how is your diet? I have been making slow changes in my diet and I have NOTICED A big difference in the way I feel about myself too. IF you have a lot of bad carbs in your diet and a lot of sugar gradually cut back. Trust me I know it is not easy but if you have those things in your diet and cut back then you will begin to see and feel a difference.

Good luck, prayers going out for you. ((((((HUGS)))))))

You guys on this site, are wonderful. Great advice.

I wish you peace Miss JKm

Miss JKm - Stick with it!!!! All the advice above is wonderful. So I will just give a great big {{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Specializes in Community Health Nurse.
Originally posted by MandyInMS

Two things you mentioned jumped out at me..1) i'm so depressed and 2) I can't seem to make any decisions....I've been clinically depressed and when you feel this way you CAN'T make any decisions....maybe you should visit your MD and discuss how you are feeling...antidepressants are a wonderful thing and a lifesaver to boot.....Until you can get over this depression nothing will work out right hun....take care of yourself first, then your career choices (((hugzzzz)))

These were my thoughts exactly when I read your first posting JKm. I don't believe it really has anything to do with your competency level, but with the depression and state of mind you are in right now. Sounds like you have a lot of excess baggage that needs to be dealt with in the right forum of treatment -- like with a doctor (counselor, psychologist, etc.). Been there myself in times past, so I'm sharing these things with you from my gut.

You'll certainly have my prayers as you requested. :kiss

(((((((((((((((((JKm))))))))))))))) Update us on how you do, okay? :)

Specializes in PACU.

I would first like to thank everyone for there kind, heartful words, and prayers. I thin i abused the word depressed, at the time of the post i did feel very down, but not soon after i made a list of all the things that made me sad and all the things in my life that made me happy. of course there was more happy than sad. i havent got a chance to see a doctor yet but i am. i have been telling family and freinds for a while now that i think i need some kind of professional guidance. I think there are alot of reasons why i felt this way: i need God in my life, i am spoiled, i want alot, and sometimes i am very lazy and also immature but want to be mature in many ways( i dont think im really ready for a a lot of the "grown up" things i want), i also have a problem with answering to autority, i however do it but i dont like it. to be more explanatorty, i dont want to talk to my clincal instructor to make up time because i dont want them to feel like i need them, and like my life is dependant on them, because it is not, i dont want tthem to think that i am gonna do everything under the sun to mend our relationship. However, i was thinking that i should tell thwmhow i have been feeling, and handle the situation from there. I feel fine though, i just need to be much more responsible and i think the situation with my class is a challenge and a lesson all in one. Thank you guys so much for caring and making wonderful suggestions. I always fell like i can confide in you guys and seek help. thanks so much, i will keep you all posted. i have class today and clinical tomorrow, so im gonna try to own up to my mistakes and handle them accordingly.

Specializes in PACU.

UPDATE!!!!

things are nuch better! i worked out things with my clinical site, they said i can come in whenever i want to. i so happy i kept the class because today in clas we learned to give im injections, draw up meds fromavial, and peform urinalysis. i acually learned a lot, im so happy i kept the class.

Way to go:kiss

Specializes in Oncology, Cardiology, ER, L/D.

Girl, I am so proud of you! See how good it feels when you can work things out and own up to things! I know it must have been hard for you to make that call but you did it and that says alot. Keep going chica because you can do it! I know you don't like authority but there are some things you are going to have to used to like there is always going to be someone telling ya what to do, but things will get better.

I don't know you, but everytime I see your picture it makes me smile.

You're in my prayers, girl....

Some of the things you wrote sound familiar to me. It was helpful for me to talk with friends, professionals, but mostly, it was helpful to listen to my heart. I followed roads to please others, and it never pleased me.

Find YOUR road. It's there.

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