As a pediatric nurse, you see a lot. Human nature at it’s rawest. Most caregivers are decent, but there are those that you encounter that just...just make you wonder why you are not in jail for slapping their face. I mean, some people...you just want to punch them in the face.
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My First Encounter As A Paramedic: Shaken Baby Syndrome
Let's start out with my first encounter with a parent. I was a paramedic (a newbie..a rookie..an innocent) called to a home of a 4 month old that rolled off of a couch. The baby is seizing and the father is talking about how he was making the baby a bottle. He was alone with the kid and the mom was at work. He claimed to put the baby on the couch and the baby rolled off the couch. A short couch...onto carpet. The story didn't add up. The baby seized the entire 30 minutes it took us to get to the nearest hospital, and then later died from massive head trauma. Shaken baby syndrome. That was some fall.
This was my induction into real life. I was out of my protective cocoon and my rose colored glasses cracked in the truth of real life. I have scraped children off of the highway who were unrestrained; I have whisked children out of homes that were besieged with fighting under the protection of cops; and I have taken children to the ED scared to be touched by anyone.
The pressure of being a paramedic became too much, so I chose a new profession...pediatric nursing! (insert snarkiness here).
My Many Encounters As A Pediatric Nurse
Mom Brought 13 Year Old to ED Both Afraid Of Dad
Mom did not have custody, and the dad was not happy the kid was in the ED. Dad, I am sure after meeting him, is in a gang. The cops were brought in, the mom asked to leave, the dad was cursing up a storm and I confronted him. "We will absolutely not tolerate that type of behavior in the hospital, in a CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL. If you don't sit down and be quiet, you will be escorted out." Nicer than a punch, and I kept my job.
I myself was escorted by security to my car after work....fearing what may await me.
15 Year Old On Life Support OD'd To See If Mom Loved Her
She did not want to die, she wrote me in a note when she was intubated, she just wanted to see if her mom cared. The child took a turn for the worst with multi-system organ failure. As we strived to make her comfortable and keep her body in a hypothermic state, the mom was mad at ME because the room was too cold. She tried to fire me from being her daughters nurse. This after she so nonchalantly said, "pull the plug". I stayed at the bedside and held her hand as she passed away, mom went to go eat.
13 Year Old Dying From HIV/AIDS
The dad wanting to be at her side, the step-mom wanting to go do stuff. The dad confided in me once, when he was irritated with his wife, that his daughter was never treated fairly by his wife. He wanted to bring his daughter home to hospice and wanted to redo her room - a makeover - just how she would have loved it. The wife would not hear of it, since the girl was 'gonna die anyway'. And she did, in the hospital room with nursing staff at her side.
18 Month Old Beaten By Mom's Boyfriend
The mother of an 18 month old who was beaten by the mom's boyfriend. The grandmother had unofficial custody since the day the child was born. She had unofficial custody of 3 of the children because the mom was always partying and never had time for the kids. When the family decided to remove the child from life support after the baby was declared to have brain death, the mother banned the grandmother from the room. That was the only time I did not let a parent help me bathe a patient after the patient died....and I gave them a time limit for grieving as well. The fact that the mother was holding her dead child and talking about going to Chili's and a movie later in the day sort of made up my mind, along with her acting like this was a party and yelling at her brother to "go get me a coke, hey, my baby just died and you need to be nice to me", and "hey, you know that **** was going to go get a new car today?" Absolutely no feeling at all about the loss of a child, but enough bitterness in her to block the one true person who cared for the baby from being at his side.
4 Year Old Who Was NPO For Surgery
As usual, the patient did not go to OR before lunch and she became fussy and..hungry...I walked past her room to hear her father yell at her to "Shut up!" as she was crying. I went in right away and she was reaching for his lunch. His McDonald's fries and burger he was munching down on. I absolutely kicked him out of the room (sans roundhouse kick to the face).
Absence Of Grief
I know that people deal with grief in unusual ways. I have seen grief, I have seen the absolute absence of grief, and I have seen those who pretend to have grief. For me, the people who have not one ounce of compassion for the child who most needs their love are the ones who I cannot and will not ever understand. I know that people don't think beyond their own needs, even when a child is crying and does not understand what is happening.
But it doesn't mean I agree with it, or have to like it.
As a nurse, the hardest part of my job is to not say and do what I really think and feel. Or I would have been in jail a LONG time ago.
What have you seen that makes you want to commit an assault?
